I ate fish! Bad couple of days
Hey everyone! I hope your weekend is off to a great start. I have had one heck of a week! Basically Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were super tough.
Upon everyone's recommendation, I didn't skip straight to fish on Thursday. Instead, I mixed eggs, tuna and mayo. Mushed the heck out of it and then chewed it. Everything went great. No pain. I had maybe 2 tablespoons? Tonight I had about an ounce of baked tilapia and some pureed cauliflower (2 tiny bites but I was trying it out).
Yesterday was a terrible day. Again, I totally overdid it. My dog got bit by a non-poisonous snake on Wednesday night and had a reaction, had to take him to doggy ER so that really messed with my sleep. I had to work yesterday followed by like a ton of events. Then, in the stress of things, I decided to have a cheese square. It was fine. No issues, I just could tell it made me waaaay full. I am starting to get some hunger now. Not bad and I don't think about food all the time like previously so that's good.
I can't wait to go to counseling on Monday because I have no idea what to do with myself after my husband goes to work, kid is asleep and I'm totally stressed out of my mind. I used to eat. So now what do I do? Combine that with exhaustion and the demons come out. It's not easy to just go to sleep because I am worried about stuff and I want to still feel like a part of things, you know social media and all.
Today was breakdown day. By 9am, I was calling my best friend crying. Not a "what did I do to myself" sort of thing but more of an "I'm exhausted and I have to keep going sorta thing."
I guess the purpose of this post is to just find out what your redirection is? I mean in those critical moments where you used to shove your face, what are you doing now?
Thank you
Upon everyone's recommendation, I didn't skip straight to fish on Thursday. Instead, I mixed eggs, tuna and mayo. Mushed the heck out of it and then chewed it. Everything went great. No pain. I had maybe 2 tablespoons? Tonight I had about an ounce of baked tilapia and some pureed cauliflower (2 tiny bites but I was trying it out).
Yesterday was a terrible day. Again, I totally overdid it. My dog got bit by a non-poisonous snake on Wednesday night and had a reaction, had to take him to doggy ER so that really messed with my sleep. I had to work yesterday followed by like a ton of events. Then, in the stress of things, I decided to have a cheese square. It was fine. No issues, I just could tell it made me waaaay full. I am starting to get some hunger now. Not bad and I don't think about food all the time like previously so that's good.
I can't wait to go to counseling on Monday because I have no idea what to do with myself after my husband goes to work, kid is asleep and I'm totally stressed out of my mind. I used to eat. So now what do I do? Combine that with exhaustion and the demons come out. It's not easy to just go to sleep because I am worried about stuff and I want to still feel like a part of things, you know social media and all.
Today was breakdown day. By 9am, I was calling my best friend crying. Not a "what did I do to myself" sort of thing but more of an "I'm exhausted and I have to keep going sorta thing."
I guess the purpose of this post is to just find out what your redirection is? I mean in those critical moments where you used to shove your face, what are you doing now?
Thank you
Just what she needs to hear! Katie 
Go to Costco and grab a case of those Premiere Protein shakes and some Greek Yogurt. Then grab some DaVinci syrup to flavor that yogurt.
You'll get through it. You're talking to the boneheaded rebel who ate MacnCheese at two weeks out, pizza at three weeks out, and steak at four. I wouldn't recommend any of that, but I survived and so will you. If you want to eat, then eat. Just make sure you're eating the right stuff. You're very early out, so keep it to soft foods like SF pudding, Greek Yogurt, and protein shakes. It gets easier from here, so hang in there and DO NOT beat yourself up. If you had iron discipline you wouldn't need your stomach cut out.
You'll get through it. You're talking to the boneheaded rebel who ate MacnCheese at two weeks out, pizza at three weeks out, and steak at four. I wouldn't recommend any of that, but I survived and so will you. If you want to eat, then eat. Just make sure you're eating the right stuff. You're very early out, so keep it to soft foods like SF pudding, Greek Yogurt, and protein shakes. It gets easier from here, so hang in there and DO NOT beat yourself up. If you had iron discipline you wouldn't need your stomach cut out.
HW 403 / SW 372 / CW 204 / GW 199
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