Family support? Who doesn't have it?

I'm so sad right now. I am scheduled for surgery Aug. 15 and last night my husband and daughter told me that they think it's a horrible idea. They bombarded me with questions.
Is your doctor board certified?
What happens in 10 years when they find out the long term complications from having this surgery?
Why can't you do the same diet and not have the surgery?
And so on and so on..

We are an Iatlian/American family and food plays a major part in our lives. Cooking our family recipes together is a big part of holidays in my house. I felt attacked and ambushed and just so sad. I expected them to be proud of a life choice that I made and instead, they feel like I left them out of the process by not talking to them first. I knew what their reaction would be, so I did all of the research and such on my own and told them after the fact. I'm so torn that I just don't know what the right thing is anymore.

If anyone has gone through something similar to this, please give me some guidance.

Thanks,
Terri

My mom was supportive of me having the surgery in the begining until she realized I was actually going to make it happen.  Now all she has to say is negative things about it.  She tells me if something were to happen to me what would become of my kids, bc they need me.  This messed me up for a little while and I was actually doubting my decision.  After some long thought I decided it was worth the risk bc my kids need me.  The real me, not this miserable person hiding behind this fat.  I want my kids to be proud of me and I want to be a good role model.  Some say this is the easy way out, I beg to differ.  Hope this helps!  Good luck with your journey, and keep me posted!  I am going to hear from my insurance tomorrow if I am approved or not and today is the first day of my pre-op liquid diet.  Pray for me!

julie

Thanks Julie, and I will pray for you. I visit my doctor Monday and I've asked them and my two sons to join me. The doctor is willing to sit with them and answer any questions they have. My younger son is being amazing and will be there for me. My older son has told me to do what my heart tells me to. In the long run, it is my choice, but I keep hearing my daughter and husband in the back of my head. I guess I need a few days to process this whole thing.

I have a similar situation...
My mom and sister are both over weight as well.. in the beginning they seemed on bord and now, they seem more jealous which is coming off as not supportive at all. I say things like I can't wait, and we are having a family party in a few months (I should be about 3 months out by then) and I said, the family will be shocked to see me.. there answers have included "results aren't typical", "I also want to look great!" (as if I'm stealing there lime light) and "hopefully it will work for you!?" My surgery is one week from today, and this morning as I drove to work, I listened to FLY by Niki Minaj ft Rihanna, and it is my new life theme song! 

FLY:
I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
To fly
To fly

I wish today it will rain all day
Maybe that will kinda make the pain go away
Trying to forgive you for abandoning me
Praying but I think I'm still an angel away
Angel away, yeah strange in a way
Maybe that is why I chase strangers away
They got their guns out aiming at me
But I become Neo when they're aiming at me
Me, me, me against them
Me against enemies, me against friends
Somehow they both seem to become one
A sea full of sharks and they all smell blood
They start coming and I start rising
Must be surprising, I'm just summising
I win, thrive, soar, higher, higher, higher
More fire

I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
To fly
To fly

Everybody wanna try to box me in
Suffocating every time it locks me in
Paint their own pictures then they crop me in
But I will remain where the top begins
Cause I am not a word, I am not a line
I am not a girl that can ever be defined
I am not fly, I am levitation
I represent an entire generation
I hear the criticism loud and clear
That is how I know that the time is near
So we become alive in a time of fear
And I ain't got no mother******g time to spare
Cry my eyes out for days upon days
Such a heavy burden placed upon me
But when you go hard your nay's become yay's
Yankee Stadium with Jay's and Kanye's

I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
To fly
To fly

Get ready for it
Get ready for it
Get ready for it
I came to win
Get ready for it
Get ready for it
Get ready for it
I came to win

I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
To fly
To fly

I'm going to LIVE for ME!  I hope you chose to do the same! Being a mother is the most selfless job ever! sometimes you have to be selfish! :) 

Me too! 

Awwww! I love these lyrics, gonna have to check this song out. Thanks Barbara!!
We are here to support each other. I know that it is hard when your family is non supportive. My daughter is 18 and really hateful to me if I don't want to go out to "eat" with her. She does not realize that sitting and watching her eat is no fun. She reminds me that this was MY decision and she is sick of hearing about it. You bet this is MY decision. I am doing something for ME for once!

To the jealous folks in your life, tell them to eat their heart out!!  You are gonna look hot and feel great. Maybe you should give them your surgeon's business card! 

Thanks Jenn!
I agree! 
There comes a point in our lives where we have to make a choice, to keep living for others, or to live for ourselves. Those who support us, great... those who don't...it's there loss! 
Tell your daughter you would be MORE than happy to spend quality time doing something  you BOTH enjoy! 
Keep smiling! ;) 

My husband has been supportive but my family (mom, grandmother, aunt, uncle etc)  doesn't think I should do it.  When I told them that I had the date scheduled they started with that is not a good idea are you sure you don't want to think about it longer. Surgery  should only be done as a matter of life and death. Think of the reason and I have heard it from them. But ultimately it is my decision to make me feel better. I am not doing it for my husband or for them. I am doing this for myself.

Try to get them to go to an information session. Maybe knowing about it will help them understand why you want to do it.

Thanks everyone. I have invited them to come along to actually speak to the doctor, who is more than willing. We'll see what happens Monday.

The thing is, I watched my mother and father die horrible, long, drawn-out deaths because of complications from illnesses that resulted from being overweight. I can't do that to my loved ones. It was too much to bare. I was diagnosed with diabetes 6 months ago. I see the writing on the wall and feel like this will give me the beginning of the change I need to make it better.