Very Depressed-I cancelled my surgery

I have researched, planned, read posts, and gone through all the preop requirements and had a surgery date.  Nothing more I could have done.  But I have backed out.  I am so scared that I will not lose much weight and I will waste my money.  I am self pay and can't afford that.  I feel like I have starved myself on the preop diet and have only lost 10 lbs over a 2 mos period.  I have a lower BMI and thats why I feel like I won't lose much.  Maybe I will have insurance at some point and won't feel like I have wasted my money if I don't lose much. 

I'm so sorry to hear this. I haven't had the surgery yet, so I can't speak from experience, but I do know that it seems like so many people are happy with their results and their lives have been changed.... so I hope that it will work out for you some day. I can certainly understand as a self payer how you would be worried.  You definitely have to do what is best for you in your heart! good luck!

My BMI was 38+ and although my weight loss has not been the numbers some other folks post, the percentage of excess weight that I have lost is on track. Not to mention, the invaluable health benefits I have gained. You did not mention if comorbidites are a concern for you, but I was on cpap for sleep apnea (still am), medication for high BP, diabetes and I had a stroke in June 2010. These things scared the hell out of me. I have normal BP and blood sugar without medications and I have not stopped using cpap because I want to wait til cleared to do so because I strongly believe the sleep apnea was the major contributing factor to my stroke. I am happy to have lost just under 50 lbs in 3 months. It has made such a difference in my life. A 180 in my energy level, enjoyment of life, I feel healthy and vital. You cannot put a price on that. Good luck on your journey.

I am a low BMI I've lost 40 pounds ! And I'm not an angel at eating although I wish I were. It's been 4 months and I'm 10 pounds to goal. I also was self pay. I make 15,000 a year , yes that's it. I used my credit card , and I have zero regrets. I was like you too. I was a 14/16 now 7/8 . I would never go back . It's a struggle forever I think , eating healthy , but it's so much easier with a tool to help you. When I get munched I have a string cheese and I'm satisfied. Or yougurt w almonds . My opinion it's only money we always need more and never make enough. Our health we can fix that. Oh and the depression I had before surgery is gone! 

I am sorry you are struggling.  I think everyone fears that they will have the surgery and not lose weight.  I had those same fears.  I am not perfect, no one is, but I have to say I have been amazed at how well the surgery has worked for me.  You must focus on the how much excess weight you have to loose.  You may not lose as fast as other, but its not about comparing yourself to others it is about getting yourself healthy.  This is not a sprint it is a life long marathon.  I hope you will continue to think about WLS and reschedule your surgery when you are ready.  It is an amazing tool to help you lose weight, but it won't do it for you.  You have to work at it, but if you do work at it you will lose weight.

My advice- reschedule.  Don't let fear dictate your health.  I cannot express enough how common it is for all of us to feel like we will be the one it will not work for.  If you do decide to back out, perhaps at least go in for visits to a nutritionist and join some type of support group- it will help.  My only other thought is that surgery will only get more expensive as time goes on...

I just had surgery yesterday. I am self pay too. I m sorry to u cancelled yours but each needs to do whatever is best for them. Take care

My question to you if you feel like you made the right decision, why are you depressed? Just some tough love here.

I was self pay too. I feel like if I don't succeed then it will all have been for nothing. Guess what I just need to work harder to make sure that doesn't happen. I paid for a tool to help me the same way that I paid for years of weigh****chers that didn't succeed or years I paid to the fast food industry that assisted in the weight gain. I am now using my tool to the best of my ability to make sure I get my money's worth. I paid too much money to let failure be an option.

You might not be ready mentally for the surgery which is fine, but it doesn't sound like you don't have to have the surgery. Otherwise, you wouldn't have been on this site. Just my opinion.

I can understand your fear, especially as a self-pay.

My BMI going into surgery was 39.3. I have lost slowly, but I also didn't have as much to lose. I know if feels daunting - "what if I fail...again." I have journals in my weight logs that say things like "I'm afraid that I'll never see the 180's ... the 170's, etc"

But, I went past them all. Maybe I didn't blow past them - more like limped past them, in my case. I sit at 153 today, a loose size 14 jeans (I'm short). I started this journey a size 20-22.

You get out of this surgery what you put into it and it sounds like you've already put in a lot of time and research.

I suggest that you not let your journey end here. You can always work on the head **** you see posted on the forum every day. Figure out why you eat the way you do. Start working on strategies that will change how you look at food.

They only do surgery on your stomach. You can start working on the brain stuff now.

Good luck and I hope you find the answer that works for you.

Cheer up sunshine, you do what feels best for you BUT I will tell you... I was self pay (lap band in 2008 and sleeve 2012.. so yeah I am broke now..lol) I was 200 the day of my sleeve surgery 2/13/12 so I was scared that I would lose 20 lbs and that would be it, WRONG! Here I sit this morning 141 and in a size 6. I am 5'4" so not to short not to tall. YOU will lose IF you follow the plan and guess what... you're not physically hungry anymore so how can you fail??? Good luck with your decision, I wish you the best. xoxoxo