Holiday ***** Fest

I haven't seen one of these in a while, and I've never started one, but with the holidays upon us we could all probably use an outlet for anxiety, frustration, etc. I can't remember how they are usually started, but it goes something like this:

"***** Fest is a public service. There may be cursing. No negative responses. If you can't be nice, shut up and leave." So here is mine...

I always wondered why people got the blues around the holidays. I always found them magical and looked forward to the conversation, activities, visits, and yes, THE FOOD. Now I freaking hate them. Why? Because now I am in charge. Of everything. Of shopping, wrapping, cooking, cleaning, hosting. I never appreciated everything my mother and others did to make this time special. I feel like a spoiled brat, but I am sick of waiting on everyone else. I've wrapped about 100 presents. Seriously. And then there is the spectacular subterfuge it takes to keep Santa a secret. I feel like a lying hypocrite every time he is mentioned, and if I ever meet the asshole who started "Elf on the Shelf" I will punch him/her in the nose.

So does anyone else feel like WLS has turned them into a ***** I am so much more easily annoyed and short-tempered. I think my coping mechanisms of food and alcohol being taken away has left my anxiety nowhere to go. My counselor is sending me to a psychiatrist to see if he can get me on the right meds.

And she also thinks I may have ADD. I do not want to have ADD. I cannot have ADD! My insurance doesn't cover the test from the specialist, so that'll be $200 out of pocket. At Christmas. **** My absentmindedness has become EPIC! Maybe it's age, or peri-menopause, or maybe I have ADD. I am a teacher, so I know it is NOT PC AT ALL, and colleagues and students/parents would freak out to hear me say it, but I kind of think ADD is a crock of **** I believe it's a real disorder, but I think it is over diagnosed and misdiagnosed to a staggering degree and gets used as an excuse for poor behavior. (Remember this is ***** fest guys, so don't send the ADHD hit squad). 

That's it for me for this episode of ***** Fest. I feel better now. Vent away.....

Awesome rant. I agree with you about Elf on the Shelf! If I see it one more time on Facebook I may punchify someone's face. 

So it's time to remember what the holidays are about, the real reason for the season. And it's time to pull back, pause, and reset your purpose. It is time to delegate, if possible, and then force yourself to step back, and take a moment (length of moment to be determined by you and your cir****tances) to do something special that will refresh your viewpoint of the holidays. I know it sounds easy for me to say, but if you take charge and make sure what you do is special enough to reset everything, I think you will find it will help. Your something special might be visiting an old haunt, or taking time to call up an old friend you haven't heard from in years, or going all by yourself and doing something you've always wanted to do but no one wants to do it with you. It can be holiday related or not, it's up to you, but you have to make sure it takes top priority and no one is allowed to deprive you of this pleasure, no matter how small it may be. As for Santa, elves, and other yuletide miscreants, what can I say?! You must have small children for it to be so important, and all those gifts that were wrapped! A nice idea for future reference is making a donation to some charity in each person's name, and giving the person a card (many charities offer a card with this gift saying you donated in their name) saying what the charity is for and how much you donated. Now some may not appreciate this gift (my in-laws took extreme objection to it), but it is a nice idea, and so many benefit from it. It sounds like you have a lot up against you right now, and I agree with what you said about ADD... Try to pull the greatness of the holidays you remember back into focus, it is what you make it to be. You ARE in charge!

Merry Christmas!

I'm another one who loved Christmas. The whole family knew they could screw up my birthday, anniversary, valentines day and I would barely blink an eye... Muck with Christmas and mama wasn't happy.

While I totally relate to all the extra stress that comes with the kids being little and the whole Santa subterfuge (and oh my gosh am I glad Elf on a Shelf wasn't around when mine were little). I want to throttle my kids the last few holidays. I have fantastic kids, I really do. However, for whatever reason, they cannot come up with ideas of Christmas or Birthday to save their life. My youngest is a little better than my eldest but that one.... well, I haven't smothered him in his sleep yet, but it could still happen. I still want that magical feeling that a parent gets when your kiddo opens a present and their eyes light up. That's a lot harder to achieve when they are 18 and 20. And the eldest has a birthday the week before so it's a double whammy. 

I was actually handling it all ok but I think i might be nearing TOM (first one since surgery). Suddenly I am a complete and total nut. This ***** Fest came at a really good time. I have had my vent, now I'm going to go back to listening to Christmas music and remember why I love this holiday. 

Ok- that's a whole lot of trouble.  

1- wrapping- try gift bags.  They are reasonable at the dollar store and save lots of wrapping time.

2- You are doing really well weight wise- enjoy it.  Your energy level should be better than last year.

3- There is no emergency diagnosis needed for ADD.  It can wait.  We realized my husband and son  both have ADD.  My son was diagnosed at 15 and when we started researching for him we realized my husband also had it.  My husband takes medicine for it, my son who is 35 does not.  Read " Driven to Distraction" by Hallowell.  It will help you see.  The best advice I can give you about it as an adult is to step back and don't make rash decisions.  People with ADD tend to hyperfocus on what is bothering them.  This is a double edged sword as it also makes them tremendously focused on things they like or want to do.  Both my husband and son are extremely successful in business because they look at things alittle differently.  I call that a plus!  Therapy can help if you go to a person that really understands it.

4- I wish you peace.  When you can slow down a little, enjoy the days.  Be glad your food nemesis is not as bad as it used to be.  Make sure you have some foods that sit well with you and it will be fine.

Nancy

Haha, I'm amused by seeing some of the snarky Elf on a Shelf displays that people make (today I just saw a GI Joe holding the elf under the kitchen sink with a cloth over its face and waterboarding it to mock the CIA report).  But I think the idea of needing some gimmick like that just to convince kids to behave is crazy.  The only people I know who need crap like that to keep their kids in line are parents who suck at providing any sort of discipline in the first place and have terrors for children.  I would never consider doing something like that unless it was something that was just done for fun occasionally, not as a nightly requirement.  Plus I think it teaches kids that they should get a reward just for being good like the should be in the first place.

I definitely appreciate all the crap that my mom did for me as a kid with the holidays.  All the presents from "Santa" with still a few from mom.  Some gifts would be wrapped creatively.  I collected these dinosaur figurines so one year I had several hidden around the house with clues as to where they would be (a plant eating dino was sitting in a house plant, one that liked warm climates was in the fireplace, the pterodactyl was perched in the Christmas tree, etc.).  She always went to the extra effort to make up fun games or other little things.  And as a single mom with 2 kids, I'm sure it was exhausting!

I'd have to say that I honestly don't think WLS has had any real impact on me in terms of personality.  No shorter fuse, but also not suddenly some bubbly social personality either.  At best I might be more confident when people talk to me. But I do know that it can bring about pretty big changes in lots of people, so that isn't necessarily uncommon!

Just remember that you did this for your health, and if staying sane means you need to have some others pitch in more over the holidays or whatever, then so be it.  Holiday responsibilities should never fall on just 1 person anyway!

"I always wondered why people got the blues around the holidays. I always found them magical and looked forward to the conversation, activities, visits, and yes, THE FOOD. Now I freaking hate them. Why? Because now I am in charge. Of everything. Of shopping, wrapping, cooking, cleaning, hosting. I never appreciated everything my mother and others did to make this time special. I feel like a spoiled brat, but I am sick of waiting on everyone else. I've wrapped about 100 presents. Seriously. And then there is the spectacular subterfuge it takes to keep Santa a secret. I feel like a lying hypocrite every time he is mentioned, and if I ever meet the asshole who started "Elf on the Shelf" I will punch him/her in the nose."

YES!  This is me! Me me me!   And NO ONE understands!!  They just come up with a bunch of b/s ideas to "make it easier".  Seriously?  Do you know what is like to cook, clean, decorate, shop, wrap, etc etc for 14 PEOPLE?  BY YOURSELF?  WITH NO HELP?

I am now the official Debbie Downer of Christmas. 

YES!  This is me! Me me me!   And NO ONE understands!!  They just come up with a bunch of b/s ideas to "make it easier".  Seriously?  Do you know what is like to cook, clean, decorate, shop, wrap, etc etc for 14 PEOPLE?  BY YOURSELF?  WITH NO HELP?

No, but I know what it's like to be around that person.... My wife is the Christmas Nazi. "No, do it this way", "That goes there, not there (two inch difference)" 

...and my favorite, "Give it here! I'll just do it."

Glad I have a workshop.

Hey Tstowe, if you know that person, please send her my way because I am TIRED of doing it all and even when I ASK for help, I get "I'm too tired" or "I want to spend time with the kids" or "I just want to relax.  It's a holiday!".  Yeah, holiday for everyone except me.  This will be the last year I host for anyone. 

Last year I catered the food to save the cooking and all my guests did was complain.  The artsy-craftsy among my guests has, in the past, criticized gift bags and said I took the easy way out (a similar remark was made about my VSG as my solution to weight loss, btw).  I have two young children and my hubby who works nights won't get his butt out of bed before 11am to watch them so I can cook or clean.  Did I mention I am trying to do this while working 55 hours a week?  Yeah.  This is a ***** fest forum right?  I feel entitled to *****.

my husband was also the Christmas nazi. He would be all " decorate,decorate"while I was sitting in the chair watching him decorate. Get up come on...blah blah. 

I had trouble figuring out why I wasn't having much fu,until one year he was decorate...blah so I got up and picked up one of the navitity scenes we had and started arranging it on a table.

he turned around and saw me and rushed over and took it fromme and said" no I was going to put those over here. " the light bulb went off and I looked right at home and told him " you are so anal about this that that is why I no. Longer decorate"  he was kinda shocked but that was pretty much it for me ,haven't decorated in years now. 

We go to DD and admire her decorations.