day 7 - regret & emotional

I just realized that 1 week ago I was in the operating room.

It has been a long rough week. I'm having a serious case of buyers remorse. Pain & immobility & extreme depression are hard enough to deal with BUT dealing with other life problems that blind side you make every thing so much worse. Whenever I sleep I dream of food. Standing in line for it. Begging on street corners for it. I haven't chewed anything since Christmas &  I'm at the point that I would rather have my old fat ass life back than one more day of this. 

I just keep crying & crying hurts. I wish I could go walking, but a storm came in. I try to walk around the house but the crap is piling up & the help I was expecting isn't happening in the way I hoped.

Oh, sure, I know... hold on it gets better, but right now just really sucks. 

You're right - it sucks, big time. But you have to get through it, like it or not. And no one likes it. The pain will ease. And in a short time, you'll progress to purees. You've had major surgery and your body is healing. Hang tough - you'll be out of the woods soon.

Take a deep breath. Right now what you are experiencing is temporary and it will get better every day. Right now your hormones are all out of whack from the surgery which is probably causing spikes in your emotions. Just relax and focus on sipping your fluids. If you miss the action of chewing try ice chips. Just don't swallow them until they melt. 

Once you get to start pureed food life will seem so much better. Just look forward to that. Once you see progress that feeling of buyers remorse will instantly fade. 

Hang in there. :)

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. For me, day 6, 7 and 8 were the hardest. I crashed. They send you home from the hospital and you've had IVs and you're feeling good and then things get a bit harder. Your body realizes that it went through something major and it's hard to hydrate enough. I was exhausted.  Really concentrate on your program. Focus on your water and protein.  Ask your doctor if you can puree and strain soup...it made a huge difference to me to be able to eat something that was somewhat "normal" even in liquid form.  I added unflavored protein powder to mine.  I know it seems overwhelming right now.  Focus on why you wanted to make this change. In a few more days you will start to feel better and as the weight comes off and your energy comes up you will love your new sleeve.  Good luck to you! 

~Mikki

I'm sorry you are going through this.  You really need to see someone.  Tell your surgeon, tell your PCP, find a therapist. And maybe someone that can prescribe psych meds to get you over the hump.  Share the problems you can't handle with the professionals and take on the ones you can handle one at a time.  Like you know you need to walk.  It is good for the post surgical process, helps with the pain and empowers you to go on to the next problem.  It won't be like this forever.  This is temporary. Things will get better.  Your focus needs to be fluids, walking and protein according to plan.  I walked I'm my house to start. It doesn't take much to make a path.  If you remember back there was crying in the fat life too.  Hang in there.  

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.  I dreamt about food all the time too.  I would dream that I was eating and eating and eating (usually pasta or cake) and then wake up feeling very guilty until I realized it was a dream.  I wanted to eat something crunchy so bad that it took all of my will power not to eat a Cherio that I was getting my kids.  And, I really regretted my decision for the first 6 weeks...I was weak and nauseated all the time.  But, now, I'm 6 months post op, I've lost 91 lbs.  I look fabulous and I feel great.  I know it doesn't feel like it now, but it will get better.  We all feel your pain.  I hope the posts on here help you feel a little better.  And, I hope you get some help around your house.