OMG!! OMG!! OMG!! I did it!!

I finally made an appointment for a consult with a plastic surgeon....

I have had a 20lb regain since January that I've been struggling..

no not really, if I'm truthful..not struggling..I take off 5 in a couple days..something comes

up I stress eat or social eat or WHATEVER... EXCUSES!!! EXCUSES!!!!

I've been hemming and hawing about making this appt.

and putting it off A LA...I'll make the appt when I lose the weight...

but I think that if I look at the psychology of me..my subconscious

was playing games with my head to keep the weight on,

cause IM SCARED..

SCARED to go thru with this surgery,

that I really do want..so I did it, I called and I see him in 2 weeks!!!!

i do and will (now that I feel like I have no excuses) get hopefully 10 off in the 2 weeks..

anything more than 5 will be fine with me...

OMG! I can't believe I did it!!!😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

Awesome! I'm really happy for you that you made that first step. If it's something you really want, even if you are scared, I believe you should pursue it. Way to go.

Interesting the emotional life of regain. Almost everyone that I have talked to who has had regain (more than an acceptable swing in range) finds in the end there was an emotional component that was the trigger or catalyst for the change in behavior that caused the regain. Interesting that yours was keeping you from getting it off.

Congrats again on taking your first step!

Thank you Devon I always appreciate your kind words of support and encouragement!

back starting in November my life turn into a whirling vortex of worry, stress and sadness...

my husband lost sight in one eye due to a partial tear in his retina and already

had only partial sight in the other due to the same issue years ago

that was put off and ignored( thank you diabetes they call it the silent killer for a reason)

so he was basically blind!!

thank God we had an extrodonary eye surgeon and he re-gained the sight in his eye

but to say it was an extremely stressful 6 weeks till his eyes sight returned

would be an understatement!!

then a month after that his mother died..

then about 2 weeks after that I woke up one morning

with numbness and heaviness in my left hand and foot...

was rushed to ER with symptoms of stroke

had all nessary bloodwork and CAT scan they say NO

follow up with DR...he says I can't see that it was anything other than a stroke

sends me to specialist who says I think it's a stroke and sends me to MRI..

symptoms lasted too long to be a Trans Eskemic (or Mini stroke)...

meanwhile I'm telling anyone who'll listen..

ya know not 2 days before this I lifted 2heavy and awkward boxes

could it be a pinched nerve or something...

and all I hear is NO! NO..guess what MRI comes back clear no bleed, no stroke..

then they start to look at nerve issues in my neck and shoulder from lifting those boxes...

guess what I have muscles stuck in contraction..

coupled with a frozen shoulder that was pre-existing...

great!!  still have some numbness and slowness in hand

and my frozen shoulder is a ***** but hey at least it wasn't. Stroke right..

the thing that the Drs were stuck on was the foot..

I have had for 17yrs neuropathy in my feet, it just so happens my left foot

(no pun intended!!)

decided to throw new symptoms that day....

I still just don't feel right..i feel robbed..I was like superwoman

at that time of stress, my hubby was down for the count,  recovering,

I was doing everything, I felt EMPOWERED!!!

and for the first times my life not falling apart w/pressure...

I feel like all my strength, energy and happiness (in a way)

was stolen from me in the course of 1 nites sleep..

so I know why I gained the weight

it's simple to anyone who knows what my life has been in these past 9 months...

Im sorry for laying this on you...I guess I needed to get that off my chest...

putting it all down..voicing it...right now has me a mess of emotions and I feel like 

I need a good cry...I've been in such denial until right now

with what when on and what I was/am dealing with...

You need a good cry in the shower, then a really good laugh. I was just talking to some co-workers the other day about how good these things feel when they are so needed. 

Take care of yourself ♡

Soo need a good cathartic cry!

couldnt even re-read what I posted to Devon today..

I started to cry...IM SUCH A LOSER!!! (Only a joke)

although, my Italian/German heritage is BIG into

surpressing emotions!

No apologies needed! I totally get it. While my stress was less traumatic than yours, it did last over 18 months and it wasn't until I felt I hit a really low point that I even understood how deep a role my emotional life played in the way I was eating. It's taken me months of "soul searching" to figure out what was wrong and how to take care of it.

You deserve a good bout of catharsis! Go at it. Take care.

Hi GrayC,

I am so happy for you.  I also struggled with the idea of "elective surgery" and whether it was worth the risk or not. 

I am SO GLAD that I did it.  I underestimated how important it was to me to feel good about my body.  The up-side of the tummy tuck was psychologically much more important to my self-image than I realized. 

I'd also like to mention that the surgery was so much easier than I expected.  I had surgery at noon, ending at 4pm.  By 7pm, I was up and walking.  My NP commented that this was because I was so healthy.  I think once we lose the excess weight, we are much healthier overall. 

I didn't need to have my tummy muscles tightened, and I guess the healing after cutting of those muscles is painful.  But I was surprised how little pain there was from the surgery.  The drains were a bother, but not terrible.

Overall, I am so happy that I had the tummy tuck.  I feel so much better about my body, and it was so worth doing.

best of luck,

Carol

Thanks Carol!!

my head is spinning with the should I/Shouldn't I

im going to take that first step..and try to convince myself that this is not selfish of me to do,

that although it's not nessary , what is sooo bad about me wanting to do it for ME!

i guess it's just my nature..one I think I need to change.

Good for you!  My experience was that I had put on 10 lbs. since my all-time low, went to my plastic surgeon and fully expected him to tell me to lose weight before plastics.  I got just the opposite - don't lose any more weight.  Well, in my head I STILL wanted to lose that damn 10 lbs!  But I didn't - in fact the closer I got to plastic surgery date the more out-of-control I was feeling with food because my anxiety was through the roof.  After surgery I quickly dropped 15 lbs. (including the 7 lbs. he took off of me) and I'm maintaining that at 8 weeks post-op. 

So I guess what I'm saying is: don't put a lot of pressure on yourself to lose.  Ask your surgeon if he thinks you need to lose more weight before surgery to get the best result.  You might be surprised by his answer 

Is it sad that I'm sitting here fantasizing that he'll say at the consult...

"oh, you have very thick skin, we'll easily remove 20 lbs!!

LOL!! 

I am also afraid that the closer I get to a surgery date, my eattings going

to go off the rails....I am really trying to be mindful in everything I eat.