to tell or not to tell......

NancyBluEyes
on 3/8/09 7:31 pm - SouthOfTheCities, MN
I am just 5 weeks before surgery and I am debating myself about what to do. It is normal for me to be very open with friends and family about whatever is going on in my life. However, I have read a couple different places where people say they have had bad experiences after telling people about their WLS plans. I have waited until now to make sure I got all the qualifying work done and that my scheduled date was solid. However, now I am wondering if sharing is such a good idea. As I said, I normally am a very open person. In fact, I feel a little weird not saying anything, like it is something I am hiding. Please tell me what you would do / what you did / what you would do differently? Thanks.
Nancy  Remember what you deserve. Be good to you. Do good to you. 
5'11"    HW 419 / SW 382 / CW 205 / GW 180


    
Corgi Mom !.
on 3/8/09 7:44 pm - sunny, FL
I took it on a case by case basis.  This was all about me.  Probably the first time I decided to let something be all about me.  I didn't tell people I didn't feel comfortable with..ie my inlaws or people at work.  I did tell close family members that were part of my support system.  As time went on, I shared when it was neccessary and didn't if I didn't want to.  I have always been proud of my accomplishment but have never felt the need to be a poster child or to scream of mountain tops..Okay I have screamed in a couple of dressing rooms...but they were my moments and if I wanted to share them I did.  People are really wrapped up in there own little worlds, it is amazing how they might question your weight loss or the small portions you are eating but they really are not as interested in the answer as they may come across.  I think you do what is right for you, if you start sharing because you are an open person and it doesn't work out, just stop, move on and do what is right.  This is your journey...never give anyone else the reigns!  Blessings and much success.
Corgi Mom
RNY
3/16/05
287/129  bmi 20.2 height  5'7"
Loss is good Maintanance is GREAT
Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly
suzytil
on 3/8/09 8:39 pm - Livonia, MI
I have stuggled with this also.  I have told everyone close to me but not all my co-workers as I work at a very big company and I'm not close to everyone.  It's also a very "gossipy" place with a lot of women.     However , now it is difficulty since I've lost 100lbs in less than 6 months.   I've heard that many people are talking about me behind my back.    I feel know that I've covered  my  tracks and /or fibbed so much that there is no turning back.   I wish sometimes that I was more open in the beginning.   Yet, not sure because I had the surgery for ME and not for my company and don't neccessarily feel it's any of their business.     Just something to think about.
Lookingup
on 3/9/09 12:24 am - Sharpsburg, GA
Hey Corgi Mom.............I'm a Corgi Mom also.  I have Tilli, a 10 year old Cardigan Welsh Corgi.  She is brindle and white and the smartest dog I know!  She watches tv and gets upset about animals on tv.  She also chases jet streaks across the sky!  My friends think she is crazy.  I just think she is the smartest, sweetest dog ever!  Tillie did not see a need to use her energy causing her ears to stand up so she has floppy ears.  That just gives her character.


Lookingup
Pre Weight Loss 337
Pre Op 319
DS Surgery Oct. 23, 2008

glittera
on 3/8/09 7:54 pm - Australia
Hi,

You know, I'm wondering the exact same thing. Except for me, I'm very used to keeping things like this to myself. I almost see obesity as a flaw and I like to keep flaws to myself hehehe

Do you think it would be possible to keep from people you live with as well? If you eat separately and live a separate life?
bbinky
on 3/8/09 8:04 pm - Louisville, KY
Me too.  I am really open too.  However, I decided at work only to tell the people in my branch.  I didn't tell all the other people I work with all over the US.  It was just much easier for me that way.  They all knew I took a week off for surgery.  I just never told them what the surgery was.  It just made me feel better.  Personally, I was on the church prayer list.  I think that most people that I know on a day to day level know my story.  Otherwise... I have just waited to see how I feel.  I am only 3 weeks out.

Good Luck!!
Becky in Kentucky
      
mittenfarm
on 3/8/09 8:57 pm - County Line, MI

Easier to tell than to lie. A lie just requires another lie to cover it up, and people are going to wonder how you are losing the weight. My close co-workers knew and my family, but I was always truthful if people asked. If you don't tell the truth they will find out eventually and it creates hard feelings sometimes.

-Wanda

Highest -380  Surgery- 345     Goal- 150   Current-150     5 ft. 8 in.

namaste2
on 3/8/09 9:02 pm
Hi.

AT the beginng of process I decided to only tell a few people in my life, then, I changed. As the surgery date neared, I started to tell my friends and contacts at work - I'm a teacher.  WHat I said was that I wanted to let them know that I was going to have a surgical procedure and it was for weight loss and hernia repairs (truth).  Everyone wished me well. Three people told me of relatives or friends who habe had it and how well they are doing.  SOem siad "do you really need it? and I smiled and said "Iv'e struggled with being over 100 pounds overweight for the past 20 + years. My doctor and I think this the right thing for me".

Only one person said, "why don't you try Weighr Watchers?" and I ignored it and just nodded my head and said, well I should be out of the hospital in two days if all goes well". (As is an entire forest of tress has not been sacrificed in the paperwork I have used at WW during my life!!)

So , I'm sure you'll make a good decision. I found a couple of cheerleaders whe I did. There are some who will not get it and try to be judgemental and all, but forget them - It helped me toshare - do what helps you!
You are very brave and we who have been in your shoes are proud of you.

Janny

11 weeks out of RNY and wearing loose 18w down from size 24!!!



Janny
    
Jobsies
on 3/8/09 9:57 pm - Pitman, NJ
I'm very open and told everyone..of course at my size, they could have figured it out as I have lost 130 pounds in less than six months. 

That being said, I do get annoyed when others find out -- I want to be the one to tell them...not have them hear from others.

I only had one person give me a hard time and I just had to accept that she and I would think differently on the subject...but everyone else (even my WW group) has been very supportive.




14 pounds lost before surgery. My first ticker is when I hit onderland: this was my goal when I started on this journey.  I want to focus on that right now...once I get there I can reevaluate.

My second ticker is my dream goal. Even if I only visit there for a short time, it would be nice to see that number just once.  I am pretty sure I'll need plastics to hit this goal.

            
twill0830
on 3/8/09 10:11 pm - richmond, VA
I told everybody!!! My family, coworkers and friends.  The reason I did that is so that I could be held accountable and guarantee that I followed the rules because I know people will be watching.  My friend also had the surgery(1 year before me)  told no one.  She told them that she was dieting and exercising.  I think they knew that was a lie because she lost the weight extremely fast. 
×