Freaking Out about pending surgery

I would strongly urge you to re-think this. Why have you been advised to get specifically the RNY? It will cause you to always and forever malabsorb certain vitamins, minerals, and medications, and will prohibit your ever taking NSAIDs.

They basically feel that dramatic weight loss will improve the joints issues i'm having as well as "shock" my immune system back into normalcy.  There is a much better medical explanation but the gist is about things resetting.

I guess I should post an addendum here.  I was having a bit of a rant and I am very scared.

I don't want to drop down to 120 lbs.  I'm hoping to start "maintenance" around the 160 mark.  Being too thin and lifting weights isn't ideal and I'd like to be lifting about what I am now.  Having said that am I looking forward to fitting in the seats at the movie theatre or rides at the amusement park - I sure am.  I'm also looking forward to feeling better.  The joint pain that I've been experiencing from the lupus is horrible.  Having the amount of weight on me that I do isn't healthy and it certainly isn't helping.  I had to stop lifting weights 2 months ago because I literally can't grip the bar anymore.  My knuckles are too sore.  I think it's necessary to have this surgery and ultimately think it will be good for me but every now and then I get a little....panicked and start to worry about everything at once.  Sometimes I cry, sometimes I'm angry.  I've gone through meetings with the nutritionist as well as psych and the doc.  They are a great team of people and have helped tremendously.  When I posted originally I just meant that losing weight wasn't my prime focus.  They are hoping that the drastic change will sort of "shock" my immune system back into remission.  I just want to be in less pain.  I want to get back to weight lifting.  I want to be around to watch my children become adults.  

I'm just really scared about the undertaking, how I'm going to feel, possible complications, and simple things like not being able to have a beer at a football game again.  

Have you ever even heard of a form of WLS called the Duodenal Switch? (Probably not---it's the "best-kept secret" of bariatrics.) The DS would have several advantages for you over the RNY. For one, you'd still be able to take NSAIDs, and there is nothing like NSAIDs for joint pain. Also, the DS preserves the pylorus and all normal stomach function. This leads to far more 'normal' eating, IMHO. The DS makes a dramatic, permanent change in the way your body metabolizes food. Yes, you'll always and forever malabsorb certain vitamins and minerals with the DS---but you'll also always and forever malabsorb a significant per centage of calories as well. (Caloric malabsorption with the RNY generally ends around 18-24 months post-op.)

Very, VERY few people end up losing too much weight. The average maintained weight loss 5 years after the RNY runs between 60-80% of your beginning excess weight. (With the DS it runs between 68-90% at TEN years post-op.)

Each form of WLS has a different post-op 'diet' that you have to follow to be successful. You need to look at them ALL before you commit yourself to any particular one. I suggest you visit the various surgical boards here, including the Revision board. Talk to people who've been living with their surgery for at least three years. Find out what they're happy with, and what they're not so happy with.

Complications can happen, and you need to know that. But keep in mind---most people DO NOT have complications. People who do have complications post about it, a lot. People who don't have complications rarely post "I'm X months out and I've not had any complications."

I'll be eleven years post-op come December. Had I not had my DS when I did, I probably wouldn't be alive today.