Two Deaths from Gastric Bypass - Not Listed as Surgical Deaths

I want to share that my daughter was beautiful, giving, amazingly talented. She was the most loving person I have ever known. She loved her children emormously and was usually seen with one of them in her loving embrace. Her laugh was infectious. She was inspirational, amazingly creative in business, crafts, and art. She was the peace maker in our family. She was my ?go to? person for business or creative advice. She was my daughter, she was my close friend.

Words do not exist to adequately express the pain and sorrow I feel for the loss of my sweet baby daughter. She was a joyful child, in every childhood photo she is laughing or giggling. She became a beautiful woman and adoring mother. Everyone that knew her felt her love, hugs, and generosity.

We were very close even though separated by miles we talked four or five times a day and visited a few times each year.

About ten years ago, she faced many challenges when she went from full-time homeschool mom to single mom and student then eventually business owner after her husband left her for her best friend. She faced the world with unparalleled hope and optimism during those struggling years. Her creative passion inspired hundreds.

Her weight was out of control after her husband left her for her best friend. It got much worse and she was tired all the time. Her siblings were all thin. I had successful surgery and was thin.

So she did. She followed all the rules. But something went wrong.

She now lives, in a place more wonderful than we could ever imagine, filled with beautiful light, happy people, flowers, angelic beings, and indescribable joy. She is enveloped in pure love by our merciful Father, Her Abba. She now longer sees like we do?through a mirror dimly, but face to face. She now knows fully. There is no more pain, worry or tragedies for her. She is overflowing with forgiveness, love, and joy.

She is no longer tired and depressed about weight. I can't wait to be joined with her when my job here is done. As bad as I miss her I know God has a reason for this timing. I will wait on his timing for us to be reunited.

Vicky had pneumonia when he was 2 weeks old and her heart stopped for 6 minutes. God gave her back to me, my gift, for three days shy of 37 years. She never had any brain damage. I treasure every minute my beautiful third daughter was here on earth.

Thank you all for your kinds words of encouragement. God has been faithful and my source of comfort. I feel God powerfully. I know He is doing a work in spite of what I see on the surface. Praising and trusting Him.

Hello 100less,

It sounds like you are in what I call my "rabbit hole". When I lost my husband of 39 years I went into a place where nothing looked the same, it was like I viewed everything through the pain colored glasses. No one really understood the pain and loss I was going through. That was my spouse, I can't even imagine the loss of my son. What helped me was I went to a widows support group and it was like someone opened a window and I finally cold smell the fresh air and see the sun shine again. It took awhile but it helped heal my heart to be around people that understood what I was going through, the pain and depths of the loss.

Try and find a support group near you for parents that lost a child. Let us know how you are doing as we all will be thinking of you.

BTW, as far as the quilt goes about influencing your daughter to have surgery. We all know she would have died without it so please stop beating yourself up. I had surgery my husband didn't. He died due to obesity related health issues.

Hugs,

Kathy

Thank you Kathy. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad you found a group to help. {{{hugs}}}

If you ever want to talk I am here

I feel your sorrow through your post and I can not imagine the pain you have been through.

What was it that made you want to commen now? Has something new happen?

I have read your post and it has made me think. I spoke with my family again about this and I will push through. I will pray for us both. You and I. Regardless of what I decide God is the one in charge.

Let his will be done.

Penny

Ditto to what Kathy S. said. I lost my eldest daughter 12.5 years ago and everything was viewed differently from my world of sorrow. Compassionate Friends has support groups for parents who have lost a child. I found attending their support groups to be the most helpful in climbing out of my hole. I also went to a therapist and did all the things I was supposed to (putting one foot in front of the other), but the support of others who know exactly how you are feeling helped the most.

I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I can not imagine the heartache that you feel.

With all surgeries there are risks. Some doctors really don't look at risks they look at getting people back to health. I know that is easy for me to say since I have not lost anyone from the actual surgery.

I did lose someone who actually drank herself to death. She had the surgery drank so much were she worked passed out and died in a stall of the hospital where she worked. It is scary she was a nurse. I know this is comparing apples to oranges. But a lot of people think she died from the surgery. Not from being an alcoholic.

I don't know if I would still be on earth if I did not have it. I think I would be dead. Not because of my obsesity but for the way I felt about myself. I wanted to die. I was pissed that I had a Subaru and if I crashed it I would live.

I hope you can find someone who can help you get through this. And get to a doctor for your health problems you have going on.

What a nightmare to live through! I'm sorry you've gone through this.

I'd be fighting for your daughter's cause of death, for there may be malpractice to look into if they are hiding from blaming a week-old procedure.

Your sister, sadly, probably brought her tragedy on herself. You didn't say what procedure she had, but I can't think of one that could tolerate a sub sandwich at a month post-op. Many are still on liquids at that time.

For you, I suggest getting some serious nutritional counseling. You're obviously not well, nutritionally, and advice back in 2004 wasn't the best to keep us healthy. I had my DS in 2005, and the recommendations I was given were not sufficient to keep my nutritional levels where they needed to be. I took matters into my own hands and pioneered my own path. Today, veteran DSers help newbies ensure a good nutritional start with what we have shared over the years that most surgeons and nutritionists don't bother to get updated with.