All In The Family
The Neal Weight Loss Story
by Jesse Jayne Rutherford
“Oh my gosh—we’re fat!?
That’s what Kathi Neal and her siblings realized one day back in the 1990s while looking at photos. Somehow, obesity had invaded their lives like a party crasher: unnoticed until things were already out of control. The Neals—siblings Kathi, Peggy, Mary, Angela* and Bob, now in their fifties, plus six other extended family members, most of whom live in Fargo, North Dakota—decided to do something about their weight. That decision began a journey that has spanned more than a decade. Though they struggled with risks and setbacks, the Neals pressed on, searching for a solution that would help them lose weight and improve their health. Through it all, their strength was in each other.
As children growing up first in Iowa and then North Dakota, the Neals were thin, though their parents both were overweight. “We were normal little girls; we played outside all the time,? Peggy remembers. As adults, though, they became more sedentary, and food was the star attraction at gatherings in their close-knit family, which was growing. In fact, pregnancy and childrearing were two more contributors to the women’s weight gain. So it wasn’t until they were in their forties that their weight grew first noticeable, then risky: Mary had high blood pressure and diabetes that required she take medication and a shot at night. Sometimes her leg would go numb up to the knee. Bob was also on insulin and medication for diabetes.
Realizing that something had to be done, the siblings all went on fen-phen, the anti-obesity medication that was being promoted at the time. “We were pretty excited because it worked well,? Kathi recalls. “We lost maybe 50 pounds each.? Of course, it wasn’t long before reports came out that people using fen-phen were coming down with heart disease and pulmonary hypertension. Coincidentally, the first rumblings that the drug could be harmful came out of Fargo. “Coming out of Fargo—I thought no one would believe it,? Kathi says. The findings couldn’t be ignored as more cases cropped up across the country, resulting in the FDA requesting that the medication be pulled from the market.
So the Neals quit taking fen-phen . . . and started gaining back their weight. Mary says that every time she went to the doctor for a physical, the doctor would say, “You know, you should lose some weight,? but didn’t offer much practical advice—or consistency, for that matter: the first doctor to recommend weight loss surgery to her was transferred not long after, and her new doctor didn’t mention surgery.
The year after fen-phen was pulled from the market, Peggy’s husband David Faust went for an open RNYsurgery. He began losing weight; however, he didn’t follow dietary rules well because the procedure didn’t come with much patient education or follow-up care, so his results were slow and unpleasant.
Then Angela, who lives on the East Coast, underwent laparoscopic RNY in 2002 and came home for the holidays looking and feeling completely different—she was the first person to lose weight and keep it off happily, and it made a huge impact on the rest of the family. “We were pretty wowed,? says Kathi. So much so that she and the others decided they would undergo WLS themselves.
Although they all decided at once, insurance processes dictated the timing of their surgeries because they were all on different plans. Mary’s son-in-law Matt had an open RNY in 2004 with results similar to David’s—successful, but delayed and filled with discomfort. While they worked toward having their surgeries and researched the details, the Neals saw that their local hospital had an inch-thick packet of paperwork to fill out and also a one-year waiting period for bariatric surgery. Still, they didn’t give up. Then one day Kathi had an appointment with a dietician, Rachel Rudel, that forever changed their lives.
Rudel referred her to a surgeon at a bariatric surgery Center of Excellence at St. Joseph’s Area Health Services in sleepy Park Rapids, Minnesota. Kathi balked. “My perception of a small hospital was, ‘Does it really offer everything?’? But the more she heard about Dr. Daniel Smith, the quality of care coming from his operating room and, just as importantly, his education and follow-up programs, the more intrigued she became. Her brother Bob’s insurance was cleared first, and he underwent a laparoscopic RNY with Dr. Smith in November of 2005. He lost 180 pounds, much more happily than the other men. Here was the solution the rest of the family had been looking for! Excited with the results and encouraged by Dr. Smith’s top-notch care, Peggy, Mary, Kathi, Mary’s husband Dale and Mary’s daughter Stacey all underwent the surgery at St. Joseph’s. They weren’t done, however: Mary’s daughter Tara and Kathi’s daughter-in-law Bernie are planning for surgery, and they have collectively referred several friends and co-workers to Park Rapids.
So far, the Neals have lost over 1100 pounds. They cite two keys to their success: the level of care at St. Joseph’s and their mutual support.
“If you don’t come out of a program with an educational component,? Kathi observes, “you think it doesn’t apply. You need a program that instills that these are your lifelong responsibilities—that’s why we went to Park Rapids.?
It’s also been an incredible help to have so many people in the family supporting each other. “We compare notes on almost a daily basis,? Kathi states. “We’d have these gigantic buckets of whey powder and nobody liked the taste. So my sister Peggy started making a no-cook protein cookie [with the powder]. We’d experiment with the recipe and take samples to the support group.? In addition to sharing recipes, the family members remind each other to take their vitamins, and when they noticed Peggy’s hair was falling out, they jumped on her—in a positive way, Kathi emphasizes. They can all go to a restaurant together, too. “We order one thing and all eat off one plate, which is kind of interesting!? says Peggy.
How can people get exercise in Fargo, North Dakota? In a climate that can be so cold, is there an excuse for being sedentary? The Neals say no. “There’s only a few weeks that it’s absolutely horrible,? Kathi explains. Other than that, you can go to the gym every day of the year, and during the cold weather, Fargo residents are still out walking their dogs and shoveling snow. So the family exercises together: Kathi will be running in a marathon with her niece and sons, and they buddy up at the gym. “We do strengthening machines, the treadmill,? Peggy says. “But I hate that stair stepper, we don’t do that one!?
Their newfound health has allowed them to enjoy other activities they never could have before. Kathi works as a global travel director and travels frequently for her job. She took her sister to Chicago on a recent business trip, and they shopped and walked all over downtown, something they never could have done before. Then they did the same in Manhattan. “We were happy before when we were fat, that’s the strange part of it,? Peggy muses. “But you’re certainly much happier when you’re thin.? They are all enjoying life much more now that they’re in their fifties and healthy than they were when they were younger and struggling with their weight.
“My life isn’t over. It’s just starting,? Kathi says.
*Name has been changed.
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