Life 2.0
by Bo McCoy
Director of Operations, ObesityHelp Inc.
http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/72inches/

This article began its life as a journal entry as I was enjoying a wonderful cruise vacation this past week March 1st 2011. I was sitting on the deck of the ship overlooking the Nassau Bay beholding the most tranquil water I have ever seen. The color was a mix of blue and green, and I was drinking a cup of Seattle’s Best coffee – the setting was near perfect.

The reason I was writing on such a perfect day was due to an incident the night before that caused me to be deep in thought and reflective. But, let me back up just a little. In order to understand this moment of reflection, you have to have a brief history lesson of my life. I am approaching nine years post-operatively having had gastric bypass in July 2002. Ever since my surgery, I have been heavily involved in the industry either as a volunteer and then later as an employee of ObesityHelp. You might say I have been completely immersed in the bariatric industry since the day I found ObesityHelp in 2002. Being immersed in the industry gave me a sense of community and I never questioned the depth of the immersion, until the night before my deck side reflection.


Epiphany
I was walking through the ship with a few friends that I made on board and I saw an elderly couple who I had met the first day of the cruise. I stopped them and asked them how the cruise was going for them and exchanged pleasantries and thought nothing of the exchange. A few steps later, with the elderly couple gone, one of the persons I was walking with stopped me and began to question me. “Bo, do you know everyone on this ship?? We didn’t know you when we came on board and you befriended us; you became friends with that couple, you seem to have connected with the whole ship!? I was taken back a little and I didn’t know how to respond. I finally said, “I don’t meet strangers." I left the conversation at that but the questions still reverberated in my mind. 

Why do I like being on cruise ships so much? It is certainly not the food, nor the rocking of the boat, nor the chance for amoebic stomach flu. Why do I talk to every person I meet on the ship and make an effort to get to know them? Why? I wasn’t sure that night. I wasn’t sure why I knew so many people within 48 hours on the ship or why it seemed to my new friends that I knew “everyone?. I was perplexed. It was that perplexity that would lead me to my epiphany.

My epiphany – I have been living a sheltered life within the very industry I serve. My life went from 626 lbs., living a sheltered life in my home, to a sheltered life in the bariatric industry. I had created a world around me within the industry I serve. For the past seven years; six of which has been working from home; I have worked for ObesityHelp. Working from home means you are either always home or always working. Either way, add in post-secondary degree work,a toddler, and my life has been quite full. Full of responsibility. Full of work. Full of joy. But, what my life hadn’t been was full of interactions outside my ‘work industry’. This creates quite a conundrum of sorts. Looking at myself from a pathological point-of-view; I might say I set my own ‘leash’ free then stayed in the yard on my own accord. But, taking a cruise – going outside my comfort-zone – opens up a whole new world of experimentation of the real me. I can’t be alone in this. Others must feel similarly as I do.

In some ways the bariatric industry has been a great shield against the woes of the “world?. But in other ways the industry has left me wondering “what’s out there?? Had I lost 300 pounds to just hide? I think not. Am I hiding? No, not really I just haven’t ever exited the bariatric industry long enough to see how the rest of the world views this surgery, or me.


Cruising my way through life?
So consider the cruise I was on like a litmus test, an experiment, my own personal survey. How does the rest of the world see me? Do they see my history or my present? Do the people I meet on the boat care that I once weighed 626 lbs? Do they notice my numerous imperfections? Do the people at the pool wonder why I have scars all over my torso? Do they wonder? Do they care? Do I care? What does it mean if they don’t care? Does it mean…surely not, it can’t mean, I am normal? Am I normal now? Have I learned to blend in? When I wasn’t looking had my life restarted as ‘normal’? Am I now experiencing life 2.0? I think I am. My first life is over. I am not Bo McCoy, 626 lbs. I am Bo McCoy, 345 lbs with all rights, privileges, responsibilities, and honors therein! Think about that. Every person I meet is a new chance to introduce Bo McCoy (2.0). Wow, that is powerful.

What I didn’t know and what I now realize; I like cruising because it removed me from the entrapment’s of work, computer, cell phone, and the past and allowed me to cruise forward and make new memories, new acquaintances, new relationships, friends, and yes, even some mistakes. But these new experiences are not mired with the quilt of shame I once associated with being 626 lbs., but rather, these experiences are life 2.0 experiences, filled with hope and zeal. I get the opportunity to take my own personality “out for a spin?! I get to learn who I am in a “live environment?.

You might think this is overly silly but do you know how many post-ops I have met that have had surgery and still don’t dance? Still don’t go out in public? Still don’t like crowds? Still don’t wear shorts? Still don’t [fill in your own blank]. What is it you ‘still don’t do…?’ I know how this feels. For me, my “I still don’t? was wearing shorts. So, on this trip I did. I wore my shorts, no shirt, and my air-brushed tattoos (don’t ask!) and yes, I was a bit self-conscience but guess what; nobody seemed to really care. Epic win!


Take your life higher.
Imagine for a moment your surgery is done. Your weight loss has been achieved. Now what? Will you go back to the same old routine? Will you wear the same old colors you use to wear? Will you change your scenery? When you enter into life 2.0 it is only important for one person to know your “beginning? weight – you. You are the only person who needs that information. The people around you may never know. But you know. Walk into life (or a boat) with your head held high and embrace the people you meet and watch how the world relates to you now! I think you will enjoy your life 2.0. I know I, for one, just learned it existed. It has changed how I look at myself. Ladies and gentlemen I would like to introduce you to, Bo McCoy, 2.0.

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