Weight Loss Surgery Forums

by Leigh Ann Gillespie, OH Member
OH Username: momof3ds
 

When I started this journey three years ago this month, I would have never thought that I would have lost 200 lbs. I couldn’t have imagined in a million years that I would be this happy with my life. After nearly 30 years of being overweight, I was extremely tired of the rude comments, gestures, my looks, not being able to find clothing that fit, and not being able to paint my toenails.
 

I had been contemplating weight loss surgery for years. Unsure if I really wanted to go through with it, I knew that I was not even going to consider having the surgery as long as I could still have children. I did not want to go through all the hard work and the commitment of the surgery, to turn around and have a child. I also knew that I needed to have a job and insurance in order to have Gastric Bypass because there was no way in the world that I could afford a surgery like this.
 

In late 2007, I obtained employment with excellent insurance benefits that paid for Gastric Bypass, and did not have a long list of “hoops to jump through? to get approved. I also had a tubal ligation in 2004, so no more babies! I had accomplished my prerequisites that I had set before allowing myself to even think of Gastric Bypass Surgery.
 

In January of 2008, I contacted our local hospital. Most everyone at my employer used this hospital when they wanted to have weight loss surgery. I went to the general meeting, listened to the doctor, the hospital insurance specialist, and made an appointment with the psychologist for within the week.
 

After completing my psychologist appointment and got his approval that I was stable enough to go through with the surgery, my pre-approval paperwork was submitted to my insurance company. And within 10 days, I had my approval. Now we are ready to schedule my surgery. Three weeks after the approval was received back at the hospital, my surgery took place. I stayed in the hospital for two days and then went home to tackle my new body on my own.
 

In the beginning, I will say, that it was difficult to adapt to the change in eating habits, because I am a very picky eater and did not like a lot of the approved liquid foods. But, I made it through that stage and proceeded with each stage after that. I have been fortunate enough to follow my doctor’s plan well enough to lose weight at an even pace, and met each of the goals that I had set for myself. I have just recently hit a spot in my weight loss in which I am satisfied at where I am at, and fluctuate plus/minus five pounds.
 

As I continued to lose, I did not date or really even think about dating until recently. I was not comfortable with myself to even think that another man would be interested in dating me, let alone have a relationship. When I finally hit my last goal that I set for myself and also was fortunate enough to have my insurance approve a panni removal, I was pleased with myself and was ready to get back out into the dating scene.
 

Back in late May and early June, out of curiosity, I started looking for someone to have a casual date with. I was looking online because I live in a pretty small community and the only place to possibly find someone to date outside of the internet is the bars. So I started looking online. I frequented several free dating sites, because I just downright refused to pay to meet someone. After feeling that I had exhausted all of my options on the free dating sites, I turned to Craigslist. I placed an ad one night, and by morning, I had about five responses. I responded to the ones that I thought were not “spam? and continued from there. I continued to talk with one guy, and it was casual talk, but I was not really sure that he was the one that I wanted to start dating. A couple of weeks went by, and no others responded back to me, so I placed my ad again, changing it up some, and guess what? This same guy that I had the casual conversations with responded to this ad too.
 

So when I got the second response, from the same guy, (I didn’t tell him that it was me that he responded to), I increased my contact with him and after about four weeks, he asked me on a date. We went out to a restaurant, had dinner, (first time I had ever had a man pay for my meal, in my life), talked for hours and hours, and we have been together ever since. After that initial date, we proceeded with getting to know each other, and continue to do so every day that we are together. We do not live together, but we do spend a lot of time together. I think the reason our relationship has worked so well is because we don’t share a home. We are able to do our own thing and we have time for ourselves and whatever else we see fit.
 

We have to work at our relationship. I often times expect Charlie to call me or text me and he doesn’t. And yes it bothers me, but I do have to say, that not a day has gone by in the almost seven months we have been dating that we have not communicated in one way or another. Out of respect for one another, we both normally tell each other what we are doing for the day.
 

Along with knowing what each other is doing, comes trust and how you are treated or respected in your relationship. I was often looked down upon, made fun of, called fat or any other demeaning word that someone could find. And boy did I have so many issues with trusting Charlie. And the fact of it was, I would not have trusted any man that I was with. And that is because of how I was treated and the things that were done to me in the past. I found myself constantly afraid that he was going to cheat, find someone else, or break up with me. But over time, Charlie has helped me so much with my insecurities and reassures me that he loves me and only me. If at any time he feels that the relationship is no longer working, then he will let me know and vice-versa.
 

Together, we have worked through my issues of trust and insecurity, but I still have them at times. I will say, it is not quite as bad as it use to be, but I have my moments. Charlie has been very patient with me, and I have been (and was from the beginning) very honest about my feelings and doubts. Of course, at times, I probably annoy the crap out of him, but he quickly gets over it, because he knows why I have my issues. I know that it is not fair for Charlie to have to live with nagging and being smothered because of my fear of him leaving, since that is what has happened to me every time in the past.
 

I have “grown? so much in our relationship. I have to give most of the credit to Charlie because he is the one who has helped to build my self-confidence and trust with the respect, reassurance, and attention that he gives me daily. He has been very supportive and is always there for me when I need him. I feel that as our relationship continues to grow, my self-confidence will be right where it should be for me. Being in a relationship takes a lot of hard work, but every step of our journey together is definitely worth it!