Sad, but sometimes true...

In all the years that I have been on message boards, I've noticed one thing. This is by no means for everyone, but just an observation. Many of the "super" obese are given a goal weight. When we don't reach this goal weight a lot of us in our minds feel like failures. What really is a goal? Is it really about a number? I say it's not. It's about feeling better. Often times others don't understand why I don't have a goal weight. I'm honestly glad my surgeon didn't give me one, because I'd be feeling like some of you, if I don't reach that magic number I've failed this. All I have to say is this is not true. Look at what you can do now compared to weeks, months, years ago. This is what truly matters. Personally a number on some scale is not going to make up who I am. Is it nicer to weigh less, of course, but I count my blessings each day. Sometimes when you are "super super" obese you might only get down to simply obese, but again the path you've followed to get there makes you a success. Be blessed Amy 615/304/Healthy (-311lbs)

Enough SAID......BRAVO Amy...... This is so true....I gave myself a goal of 180lbs and believe me if I do not reach this goal and I only get down to 210lbs or 250lbs I will be satisfied. Being as heavy as I am now, losing 100lbs would make me HAPPY and I could not ask for anything more or less. GOD gave us the bodies that we have now and we hate them, but when we lose weight and we don't get to where we want to be, we still hate our bodies even after GOD gave us a gift, WLS. I feel like this, BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT HE GIVE YOU, and some of you are complaining that you're losing TOO MUCH WEIGHT....We asked for it, now we have it. Whatever size GOD decides that we should be, take it and run, be HAPPY and jump 4 joy.... Your WLS partner, Nissah The F.AT Slayer 360/346/???/180 23 days 2 go..........woohoo

I agree, but I also feel that the weight IS relevant. After all, it's why we're here. I will feel like a "success story" if I am at anything under 200 lbs.... That is what it would take for me feel like 'it was worth the surgery'. While I'd LOVE to lose the full 200 lbs and be down to a mere 135 lbs... I know that's not entirely possible. I have dreams of 135, but at 175 I could still be active and healthy... and I can live with being 175 (before plastics). Today for example was very hard... sciatica acting up... have not been able to walk more than 15-20 ft today, can barely move my own body... the pain is intense. I've spent most of the day in bed, and that's not common for me, usually I can sit on the sofa or at the computer... but today has been hell... and tommorrow I get to go back to work (nursing)... I don't know how...

Feel for you Kat... those days of pain are the worst! Know what you are facing with the nursing as well. Take from one who did it and failed... don't go back too fast.... no matter what they tell you... its a lot harder to pick yourself up when you totally bottom out!!! Good luck and God Bless B

I made up my mind not to set a "goal" weight.. I dont want to set myself up for feeling like a failure.. Then when I went to my nutrition consult, the lady refused to sign off unless I set a goal weight.. So I set my goal at 160.. that wasnt good enough for her.. she basically forced me to set my goal at 115-125.. Mind you I am only 5'3, but I have a large bone structure.. Ive never been petite.. I tried hard to explain to her that I was opting to have surgery to get healthy, not to look like barbie.. That my goal weight would be where ever I felt healthy and liked the way I looked, but that wasnt good enough for her..So I caved and put 115-125 as my goal.. Im so afraid I will become obsessed with numbers and feel like a failure when the numbers dont move fast enough.. My surgeon didnt set a goal for me either.. when I explained that I planned to loose until I felt healthy and liked the way I looked he was happy... Thats the whole point to having the surgery for me, health! After reading so many horror stories about not loosing this week, or the scale hasnt moved, I have also made the decision not to weigh myself at home.. Ill do that once a month at the doctors office.. I dont want to get too hung up on numbers and feel the disapointment when the scale doesnt move.. I cant wait to have the surgery behind me so I can start doing all the things that I havent been able to do in so long!! and with the support and advice from everyone on the boards, I know that I will get through this! Amber

Amy, We are so much on the same page with this whole "goal" thing. My surgeon never set a goal for me or Omar. (my husband) I was 399 pre-op and now I'm at 248 and I plan to get down to 200 by the end of the year. After that who knows. I'm not going to set myself up for failure. Losing 200 pounds would be just fine with me. People are such a pain sometimes though. They look at me when I say I'd be happy at 200 like "don't you know that's still fat?" Yeah, well 10 1/2 months ago I couldn't put on a bra by myself, couldn't bend over to put on socks/shoes, hell I couldn't even wipe my butt after going to the bathroom and people are "concerned" that I'd be happy to be 200 pounds.They just don't get it and I really don't have to answer to them anyway. I let myself let people get to me and make me feel bad about who I was almost my entire life. Well, on September 23, 2004, I took back my life and I'm in charge of who I am and who I will become. I was reborn and am finally living the life I have always deserved. Omar and I are working on our "new" married life even though we've been married for 3 years. I will be a happy and proud "obese" woman! SIncerely, Dawn Post-Op 9/23/04 399/248/200 Pre-op BMI:69 Current BMI:45

Bravo Amy.... needs to be said a lot more often I think!!!! I was just remarking to some people on my surgery date board that I finally feel comfortable... .and if I don't lose another lb.... I am good where I am!!! I have finally gotten to the point where food or the lack of it doesn't obsess my entire day! I can find clothes that are professional and fit in discount stores... hey for many of us this has been just a dream. What I have had to pay for bras for a year could outfit a slender woman for a year!!!! Success is so much more than numbers!!!! Even though by the numbers I need to lose another 70 lbs... I am finally at a point where my weight is no longer an obstacle.... I can move, I can dress, I can be recognized for my talent.... Life is good!!!! B