can't get around

I weigh over 400 and I can't hardly get around. I dont go shopping or to restaurants or to visit family and friends. The only place I go is to my counselor. I want to get the ball rolling with the surgery, but Im so used to being 'hidden' that I can't bring myself to go meet the surgeon, nurses, etc. When I go to the counselor I have to use my wheelchair. I can't stand up in the shower. Exercise is very hard for me. I just feel hopeless. Everyone keeps asking me when I'm going to have the surgery and everytime I reply with 'well, im still doing research, etc' and they look at me like im crazy. i have joint pain, im diabetic, high cholesterol, hypothyroidism, (is that a word?) and major depression. I wonder why I'm majorly depressed! Sorry i just had to vent.....maybe someone can offer a few encouraging words.

You sound very much like me. I have most of the same health issues too, joint pain (knees and hips are a killer), high blood pressure, diabetes, hypothyroidism (yes, it's a word ), sleep apnea, asthma, 416 pounds at my heaviest. I have also suffered from severe depression. Thankfully, I got that under control a few years ago with the help of a good counselor. I haven't gone shopping in several years (who can walk a mall!?), or grocery shopping (walking through the newer mega grocery stores practically brings on an asthma attack). It is very hard to do anything when your mobility is limited. And, when your mobility is limited you seem to do less and less. Everyone has to start somewhere. Being here and asking for help is a major first step. Educating yourself and asking questions is another positive step forward. I knew I couldn't live this way any more. I was existing, not living. There are so many things out there I still want to be able to see and do. Is your counselor familiar with WLS? Perhaps he/she can make some recommendations for you. When I was looking around for all my surgery clearances, I was even able to find some who were willing to come to me, instead of me to them, even so much as meeting me at my place of work! I found a nutritionist who did that. She would meet you at your home or your work, whatever was easiest for you. The Internet is a fantastic tool! Come here and vent when you need to. And get support when you need that too. That's one of the wonderful things about this place. We have all lived it and been there at some point and we can all relate to one another in some way. I am sending out Great Big Huggs to you! Ruth

For about six months prior to my DS, I was pretty much confined to a wheelchair. Couldn't drive, either, or shop any place that didn't have those electric carts. Exercise was IMPOSSIBLE (bad knees on top of a BMI of 75). My BP had started to climb, diabetes runs in both sides of my family---and for years I'd struggled with depression that meds just did NOT help. Within TWO WEEKS after my DS, my depression was GONE. No meds, and no depression. Within two months, I was up and driving, shopping for hours, and beginning to be able to work in my garden again. By four months post-op, I was hauling around big rocks and digging myself a pond! I do still have some joint pain, but a LOT less than I used to. And I'm still not thin---don't truly expect I ever will be. But I've got my life back, and you can, too. I know it's hard to get the ball rolling, but I think once you do you'll be SO glad you did.

Hi Are we twins??? I could have written your post a couple of months ago. I was miserable. The depression (and crazy anxiety too) was really knocking me out. I barely made it to work. I didn't even call anyone. It took many sessions with my therapist to be able to just make the appointment for the surgeon! I was so disheartened to find that I weighed 505 lbs.! It was all I could do not to cry. But, take heart! I lost 27 lbs. with the pre-op program and on Friday I will find out how much more I have lost since surgery. I am 2 weeks post-op and I already find it easier to get in and out of my car, I've even been to the grocery store! I don't feel like such a prisoner any more. I can actually stand in the shower long enough to shampoo AND condition my hair! The other day my brother-in law said it was the first time in years he didn't hear me wheezing and out of breath just sitting (I'm asthmatic). I feel like my life is starting again. It all starts with one step... make the call Good luck Steff

Your experience sounds like mine before WLS. I started this journey at 545 lbs. but my highest weight was 600 lbs. So, I know exactly what you're going thru. Although I have lost 115 lbs. I still have to use my wheelchair for long distances and I use a walker to wal****il I lose enough weight to walk independently. I had to purchase a shower chair to bath myself and I found a sit down cardio work out video for people just like us. I remember feeling like you do until I began reading the profiles of people like Amy Williams, Sarah Margert, Kirk Thomas and others with high BMI's. I realized that I was not alone and with the help of Almighty God ... I am here today to tell you that there is hope for you and many of us are living proof of that fact. If there is anything I can do to help you in your journey ... please feel free to email me anytime. I will remember you in thought and prayer and hope that you will experience a successful journey to a healty life. Sincerely, Georgeann

dear needin 2, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!Sometimes I think the worst part about this disease is the isolation it fosters. I have a history of depression too, and sometimes its all you can do to get out of bed, let alone deal with the world. A very wise therapist once told me to BREAK IT DOWN. Try not to look at the WHOLE problem i,e; weight,depression,lack of exercise. Just sit and think and pinpoint ONE small task that you CAN tackle today. Just ONE. I know how depression is, it robs you of everything. Please, just remember.YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!! Feel free to email me anytime..............i am pre-op and dont have a date ........and i struggle with depression everyday. Take Care!!

Thanks, you all made me feel a little better. I don't feel so alone anymore. As soon as I learn how to put updates on my profile, I will post there about how I am doing. Thank you very much for the thoughts and prayers. You all are a true inspiration.

Sister Georgie, If you don't mind my asking, where did you get a shower chair? Are they very expensive or will medicaid pay? Thank you.

Hi Needin, Something as simple as a shower chair was such a blessing to me. It allowed me the abilty to keep myself cleaner than I had previously been able. I was in a real mess not being able to stand long enough to complete a shower, and not being able to fit into our bath tub. If I was alone in the house and needed to get cleaned up, I just had to make do with washing up in the bathroom the best I could. I never felt clean, and that did a real number on my self esteem. My father in law had a shower chair in his garage and just offered it to us one day out of the blue. It was like the best gift I could have gotten. I was taking showers like a mad woman, LOL. It felt so good to be able to handle that part of things by myself. Shower chairs can be purchased at home health care stores and sometimes organizations that help people with disabilities are willing to help locate one and possibly even offer guidance through the process of getting funding for it. I hope you can find one, but if you can't, a milkcrate in the bath tub can be a temporary help, if you have someone to help you to sit down on it. I did that for awhile. I folded up a towel on top of the milk crate, so it wouldn't hurt my bum, and it served as a seat for me to at least be able to get into the shower. It's not perfect because it is a little low, but it might help. Take gentle care.- Shelley C

Someone had posted on the Main board about having one of these they wanted to get rid of, just a day or two ago! Wish there was a search function so I could find that post for you. You might also check with your local Salvation Army, Goodwill, etc., or advertize in the local paper. I get a little freebie 'shopper' paper once a week that often has items like this at very reasonable prices. Also, check with local medical supply places---you might be able to rent one.