Insensitive? ...moi?!? Maybe!

Hello gals and guys ~ Insensitive? ...moi?!? Maybe! In fact, Im sure I can be at times... BUT, not this time (or at least that's my take on it). I just rec'd an email from a PRE-Op, no names mentioned (she can speak up if she wants).... but it led me to wonder if OTHERS felt the same way? To paraphrase? -- she thought that it was very insensitive of me to post my "How are you going to MOVE today" post to this particular forum. After all, I must have FORGOTTEN where I'd come from - because everyone knows that moving is damn near impossible with a BMI over 50. Well, in case there are others out there that viewed my "move your body" post as insensitive - lemme share a few things. If you glance at my profile, it would be obvious to all .....that Ive been there, done that, and bought the 6X Tshirt. I started off just shy of 400 lbs, BMI at 59 - and ya' know what? MOVEMENT is possible - period - even if it means doing CHAIR exercises or BED exercises. If you can walk yourself to this computer and use a keyboard to send an email or post, you can MOVE your joints, extend your arms, rotate, lift, stretch -- MOVE! To IMPLY that its easy for me to TELL people to move only because Im at goal is also hogwash. Once again, my profile says it all - the good, the bad, the ugly. MY reality, at 400 lbs, was that my doctor REFUSED to do surgery if I did not have an exercise routine in PLACE at least 6 weeks prior to surgery. Period. No exceptions to that rule. Wanna know why? Because after 20 years of surgeries, he KNEW it helped the overall 'success' odds. Most importantly (to me): SURVIVING the surgery, getting off the operating table ALIVE, recovery and long term success. By the grace of God, I had control of all my limbs and WAS able to get up out of my chair to head to the local gym and swim laps. It was a very HUMILIATING experience for me. The only 400 lb gal in a suited skirt that came down to my knees. Keep in mind it was a military base, so 75 % of the peeps there were in shape MALEs who didn't even try to hide their looks of disgust. But a gals gotta do what a gals gotta do and I DID! I truly believe ALL of us can, if we put our minds to it - yes, even those that think I haven't a clue what it's like to be where ever YOU may be now. I suspect I understand more then you think. For those that were offended - it was NOT my intent. Enjoy your day - Lei

I started out with a BMI of 53! I totally understand the being the big girl at the gym. It was fairly humiliating. When I was in nursing school I had a clinical where people were in the facility for the long haul. The activities therapist had seated exercise classes 2 X a week for those who were unable to stand. It was really cool to see how these folks enjoyed the class.

Lei- Insensitive??? Well I cant speak for anyone but myself here, but I dont find your post insensitive at all. it actually gave me the boost to get up and get some exercise this morning... My BMI is 53 and I have surgery coming up in a couple weeks.. I need to get up and move even if its just walking around the house, cleaning, etc.. So thank-you for the boost I needed on a sluggish day!! Its just what I needed today!! Amber

What an A**....they obviously don't know you and know the fact that you support everyone in the very best way possible......Thats like getting flamed for what have you eaten today.....I could see it now....."you know I am on a liquid diet why would you do this when I can't eat" (which that did NOT happen....but I could see it happen......lol) I had a BMI over 50 and I could move......and I have also worked in rehad nursing home place and worked with alot of folks who were MO and wheelchair confined.......and ya know what they can move too.....arm reaches, leg lifts, anything moving helps......I find the how are you going to move posts inspiring if nothing else......makes us all think of something extra we can do for ourselves......I think you are grand and I know for certain you would never intentionally hurt anyone......okay maybe a few people But don't let one person ruin your day when there are thousands that know your true intent and love ya By the way I am so jealous you and Kim get to go to water aerobics.....I would love to that with ya.....Have a great day....Take Care Jesi

Lei, You are never insensitive, rather I have found you always encouraging and an inspiration. I myself started at a BMI 65 and 415 lbs and I moved, not without pain...but I moved. Those that have a gym pass do not let others intimidate or discourage you, the recumbant bike can be your friend, it was mine I started at 5 minute intervals and built myself up to an hour. Remember small steps are keys to obtaining your goal. Start with getting up and walking a short distance every hour even if it only to the next room, increase the distance slightly each time. Wishing everyone much success on their journey. Mary 415/192/-223

Hi there Lei, My starting BMI was 51.1 - and I was in FULL ON Denial. I told myself and all who would listen that I could still do anything - and ended up crawling on the ground with back spasms as my muscles were crippled under the strain of my weight several times a year. You're being a becon of inspiration Lei - I know you've walked in the same shoes I've been in. And like me you've lived to tell the tale. And its more than a notion that this surgery only works as hard for you as you work for it. And that means at whatever level you're at you've got to find a way to move - be i****er exercise, chair aerobics or even just lifting your arms. I didn't start running until I got to goal - and to be really honest, I never thought I'd make it to the point where I ever could. Keep being a sweet spirit Lei, ~Lara 400+/190 @goal Crawling on the floor/Training for first 10 mile race 10/2/05

Lara, Thanks for putting that out there. I was in the same boat till I came to OH! I started with a BMI of 54.5 and I work full time as a NURSE... I am required daily to lift people my size (not alone of course, but with 1-2 others)... It's actually a part of my job description to lift up to 50 lbs frequently. I walk 10-12 miles in an average day shift... I have never been diagnosed with any major illness... so I was in FULL ON DENIAL too... It wasn't until I saw other's stories... that I realized where I was... daily pain, avoiding certain things because I knew it was too much... the "kicker" for me was trying to RUN a patient in crisis down a long haul to the ICU... being unable to keep up with the other nurses was just a something I dismissed... until we got there and I realized that *I* might need oxygen because I could not breathe and was not doing well from that attempt at running... my co-workers wanted to put ME on oxygen and in the bed talk about humiliated. So I woke up and started looking into the options, including surgery. I bought a Gazelle, and I love it... but I don't often use it... I'm too tired... instead I've gotten my activity up by switching to DAY shifts (more walking, less sitting) instead of my former Night shift job... and by taking my kids out to the waterpark at least twice a week. I am now tanned (even if flabby) and I was completely impressed with myself for that one I no longer sit and say I can't... I get out there and DO... and I get out and ENJOY... And one day I too hope to run! ------ To the anonymous person ----- So yes, it may be difficult if you have other issues with mobility... but if you're alert and oriented enough to read this stuff... then most likely you can start on range of motion exercising, or chair exercising... So whether you're doing foot/leg/arm exercises or actually moving the whole body... the important part is that you're taking responsibility for MAKING the change in yourself... gradually is fine... just get *STARTED* How much you can do is irrelevant... the point of the post was to encourage you to try!

Bull! You were most certainly not insensitive! Just because one has a BMI over 50 doesn't mean they're unable to move. It's hard, yes. It has to be done in tiny baby steps, yes. But that's how this journey starts, with a commitment to healthier living, even if that commitment can only start as walking two laps aroud the living room or moving 2 lb hand weights over your head. I was 435 lbs, BMI of 83 before surgery. Yes, walking was hard, but I did at least a little of it each day. Water exercises are ideal for the SMO, and that's how I get in my exercise in now, post-op, just because I enjoy it so much more than walking or any other form of activity. About 5 years ago, I was 456 lbs and lost 125 lbs through portion control and exercise. (I sadly gained it back after some medical problems.) The thought of getting in tha****er was the scariest thing I had ever done, but when it came time to actually do it, I basically said, "screw it! This is for me!" (It helped that with my glasses off, I couldn't really see anyone, so I adopted a little of the ostrich-with-his-head-in-the-sand attitude: if I can't see them, well, they can't see me! ~lol~) The weight started coming back when I had to stop swimming my laps. Anyway, the point to this rambling is that we may not want to hear what people have to say, but that doesn't make it insensitive or any less true. Life is difficult; that fact doesn't make it an excuse to stop living. Substitute moving or exercising or eating less or anything else that we struggle with in that sentence and we can move in the right direction.

Hi Lei, When I started this journey I had a BMI of 107 which is extreemly high. I got tired of being in the same tore up physical condition I was in and made myself get up off of my butt and started moving. I was on oxygen and a walker at the time and still do use a walker. I would take a few steps every hour of the day and do sit down work outs to my favorite music. The more I did it the easier it got and prior to surgery I lost 67 lbs. lowering my BMI to 102 the day of surgery. I have lost 115 lbs. and currently my BMI is 86. I work out every day. Do I want to always do it ... Does my arthritic knees hurt ... YES ... Do I enjoy the results ... I sure do. I said all of this to let you know that I appreciate when my WLS peers ask me how I am moving, eating/drinking and taking my vitamins because it helps to keep me on track. It lets me know that someone who has been where I am really care enough to ask. This is a place for support and encouragment. We are or were in the same boat ... Let us not lose sight on why we are here. Georgeann

I started out with a BMI of 76.5. 418 lbs. 5ft 2 in. I KNOW how hard it is to move. And I KNOW how hard it is to get motivated to move once you can. So, just keep encouraging folk and doing a good work. Sure there will be some who are hypersensitive about being fat. I am not one of them. With a current BMI of 62.6 it is still extremely difficult to move, but peeps like you have been a great motivator- mover/shaker LOL. We need pushing and prodding at times and I for one appreciate the effort. Offended?? Nope. Not me. Encouraged?? ABSOLUTELY!! Thanks!!!!!!!! Toodles, Reneé 418/342/125 -76 pounds!