Prayer asnswered!

 Hello everyone, I just discovered this forum.  I'm fairly new and still learning all this website has to offer.  I'd like to thank those who have posted and replied because it's helped me indirectly.  The reason I'm writing is because not only am I carrying more than 100lbs of physical weight on my body but that I'm struggling with carrying an equally heavy or even heavier burden on my mind.

Lately when I'm praying and that isn't going so well, it's like I'm ADHD when I'm praying, I'm not only asking for help with fat loss but also for help with unburdening my mind as well.  I'm asking for the weight loss in my head as well.  I'm asking for freedom essentially.

I'm not whining that the band doesn't work or that I'm having problems with it.  On the contrary it's working exactly the way it's supposed to.  It's me thats not working.  I don't know why I keep trying to go back and eat how I used to.  Even if I feel full I try and eat more because I think in my head, "that can't be right.  That is too little bit.  You know you're going to be hungry in 10 minutes if you don't eat more."  The other thing is that sometimes it just tastes so good I don't want to stop.

I see now that I'm really writing because I need prayer.  It has been an answer to a prayer that I found a group that believes in prayer.  You don't know me and I don't know you but we believe in a God that listens so there's a connection.  I will pray for you and I truly ask that you pray for me.

I will definitely pray for you.  One thing I learned early in my journey is that they operated on my stomach, not my head.  We have to get control of our minds.  One way I learned to do that ages ago, 16 years before my RNY surgery, was to go to Overeaters Anonymous.  There, I learned to use AA's 12 Steps as they are written for Overeaters Anonymous, and apply them to food, and the way I think about food.  

My story is complicated because I am also an alcoholic.  So, I know how the 12 Steps of recovery work.  I suggest you check out Overeaters Anonymous, and see if the 12 Steps work for you.

Also, does your surgeon have a nutritionist who can help you with your portions.  The bariatric surgey center I went to gave me a huge binder with recipes and portion sizes to guide me through each phase of my post-op diet.  When I see my surgeon for post-op visits, the nutritionist always comes in to meet with me.  If I have questions, I can give her a call as well.  

Finally, what I have to do is put one small serving on my plate, before I go to sit down.  I leave the rest of the meal on the counter.  I am usually full after that, and if I think I am hungry, I know it is probably head hunger.  I need to stop and really identify why I want to eat more.  What emotions am I trying to avoid?

Thanks for posting.  

 Thank you Trish.  I used to go to OA about 20 years ago.  I stopped because the group I was in seemed as if was mainly a complain/dump session each week and I felt drained after every meeting.  I made the mistake of lumping all of OA into that category.  I've been to Al Anon and a couple of AA meetings and noticed that each group is different.  I've been meaning to go but am looking for a group that fits my schedule.  I work 2nd shift.  I do appreciate you mentioning it because I have put it on the back burner and was well on my way of forgetting about it.  It's not for nothing you mentioned it.

Thank you so very much for replying as I was feeling kinda alone.  You don't even know.  I haven't told my family except for 2 members and my aunt's son almost died in a train accident, he's 16 and has needed all kinds of surgery but thank God!!!! he's mostly ok now.  His body has healed stupendously.  My food issues seem so pidly compared to what they're going through so I haven't really spoken to her about them.  I've been trying to be as supportive as I could.  Losing him was a very real possibility.  The other person I told is having her own issues.  She's pretty much caught up in her own world which is pretty much all the time.  I don't even know why I told her.  I guess it's because when she does venture out of her self she can be pretty cool.

Thank you for the tip of actually using a plate.  Half the time I don't even use a plate.  I'm on the go alot so I eat alot of take out/pick up.  Then most of the time I'm usually working while I'm eating so I don't really pay attention to what I'm eating. I also tend to wait till I'm starving so when I do eat it's very hard to put on the brakes.  I do have to chew more than before because it will get stuck but thats about all the "extra" that I do.  I did spend yesterday looking over all the papers I got at the hospital/clinic/nutritionist and wrote down what I saw a doable to start with some sort of structure.

I have admitted that I am a slave to sugar and white flour.  Those are my demons.  I have been at war with them since I was a child I just didn't know it then.  I've realized their dominion over me for about 20 years now.  This is part of what I mean when I ask God for freedom.

Thank you again so much for writing and praying for me.  Something is happening, something good, I can feel it.  Today is the first day I have felt inspired in a long time.

 Hi there,
I am very happy your cousin has survived the accident.  That can be pretty scary.  But, don't minimize your food/weight issues, because morbid obesity is also deadly.  Prior to my surgery, I was prediabetic and on cholesterol medication.  Heart disease runs rampant in my Mom's family, with all of her brothers dying from it.  I was terrified of having a heart attack before I turned 50.  

Basically, the only difference between your cousin's near death experience and your issues with food/weight would be time.  Obesity takes time to develop and time to kill a person.  So, it will take time, and effort, to gain control of it.  

Make each day positive by taking the time to eat, and enjoy what you eat.  Also, take time to exercise, or do something active.  Example, today, I didn't do any formal exercise, but I did dust and mop my living room and kitchen floors, and then vaccuum my hall and bedroom.  I have a very hairy dog, who sheds like crazy.  My vaccuum's canister was emptied twice, and most of it was dog hair.  

Tomorrow, I am hoping it doesn't rain all day, because I want to take my bike out and go for a ride.  My kids gave me a bike for Christmas, and I have to confess I am a little afraid because the first two times I tried to ride it, I was a little shaky.  My older son is really into physical fitness, running half marathons.  He challenged my daughter into training for a half marathon in Lansing, Michigan next May.  She lives right near there.  Catch is, she just had a baby a month ago, so she is not sure she can get ready so soon.  When she was in high school, she ran cross country for four years.  Each race was a 5K, which is roughly 3.1 miles.  Durng training she would run five miles in the morning and five miles in the evening.  I can't run, because of arthritis all over my body, but I can ride a bike, if I can get over my anxiety.

Gotta run.

Hugs,
Trish

Oh Sandpen you are so not alone on this one! I've had my band for over 4 yrs and still am tempted to eat "just a couple more bites" of some extra yummy foods. Like Trish said the easiest way for me to deal with this temptation is to use a saucer instead of a dinner plate for meals and measure out my precise serving. Then I cut it up in pencil eraser sized bites before I eat. That helps me get in a slowed down mood for eating, then I take one small bite at a time and chew till it's liquid. That usually keeps me on track and helps me savor each bite. Also remind yourself that if you are still hungry in say a 1/2 hour you can always have a little more, or have more for your next meal. It really does take time to figure all these little tricks and tips out and you are still fairly new to the game so just give it your best shot and if you mess up, well forgive yourself and start fresh the next meal. You can do this with God's help, just remember it is satan who tempts us not our God. God may test us but He will never tempt us to do something that is harmful to us, that is satan at work. So tell him to get gone and leave you alone. I'll be praying for you too and you'll get there just keep practicing your techniques.

 Thank you firstly for your prayers.  I believe prayers are powerful things otherwise we wouldn't be advised to "pray without ceasing."  Secondly thank you for tips I can put to use asap.  I've been told and heard at a couple of meeting to use smaller dishes but it's never really computed.  You've broken it down baby step style.  It's kinda where I'm at right now and I can absorb the info this way.  Right after I send this msg I am putting a saucer and tiny spoon in my back pack and regardless of what I eat it and what it comes packaged in it will end up on my saucer and theeeen my lips.

I tend to have black of white thinking.  And when I'm not black of white then everything is gray and there is very little structure.  Crazy.  Whatever advances I have made have been only and exclusively due to God's help.  I don't believe God temps me at all.  I do believe that he does provide cir****tances that help develop certain characteristics like being patient or learning to holler for help and looking outside of yourself and to Him for strength.  I also don't think He makes bad things happen He just lets consequences of our actions take place.  Just because He can make good come out of bad things doesn't lead me to believe he caused the bad thing.  I guess I just don't give satan the credit he's due for being the father of misery and understanding how truly evil he is.  Thank you for reminding me that I have power too, power to banish him through Christ.  Just keep praying for me please.  and I will do the same for both you and Trish.

Thank you.  Like I wrote to Trish I was feeling so alone.  Thanks for writing back.

You're very welcome, glad we could help. I know when I started people said take small bites, well heck what is a small bite? Before I took huge bites and basically Hoovered my food so I had no clue what a small bite even was. Fortunately there were some awesome vets on the band board when I started that explained it simply to me, so I try to pay it forward to others. Feel free to come here and ask any questions you want and we'll do our best to help. God bless!

 And yet another thanks!  I will try and do the same when I'm a vet.

You are in my prayers.  I had the band 4 yrs ago and thought it was the greatest tool ever but then mine slipped.  And for some reason it hurt all the time and was only half full.  It did work for me up till then.  I recently had it removed and have RNY now.   There are some habits that I started with the band and continue with RNY.   I use a small salad plate at meals.  (1/2 for lean meat, 1/4 for good carbs and 1/4 for good grains )  I can't eat a small plate of food yet with where I am post op RNY.  Until my band slipped I got full very fast as well.  I learned  with the band to chew the food till it dissolved in my mouth.  After eating protein, it was always hard to get the rest in.  I find it the same with RNY.  If I ate protein first and was not satisfied then started on the carbs/grains.  I could never finish my entire meal.  Also, I didn't drink for at least 30 minutes after eating.  There was never room for the sweets that I thought I'd have afterwards.  After a few weeks of not eating any sugar there was no longer a desire for it.  Just return to the basics and learn to enjoy the flavor of your basic foods again.  One thought that helped me with the band and now RNY is that I feel "protective" of this tool.  I want to make sure I take care of it as though it is my baby.  So, I often pass on things because I will think,  "This is not good for my tool."  Congrats on your success and by the Grace of God may you find a renewed hope and spirit in your WL journey.  Take it one day at a time.
In His Love, Barb

 Thank you for your prayers, you know some stuff you just can't get enough off.  I do pretty good with not drinking with or up to 1 hour after meals.  As for the sugar, oh, the sugar; I went to a health retreat for 3 weeks once about 2 years ago and was completely cut off from sugar.  I have to admit that the intense cravings for sugar went down about 85% which was awesome.  However I got back on the sugar 6 months later, slowly but surely.  I know if I leave it alone the INTENSE cravings will eventually subside but I also remember that I spent about 2 1/2 weeks feeling really crappy as I detoxed.  Not sure I can do that again while working and taking care of my household and kids.  I should be more honest.  I don't want to go through that while working and all my other responsibilities. 

I'm glad you're doing well with your new surgery and thanks for the advise/tips.  I really am trying to incorporate all this and be good to my "tool".  Thanks alot for that perspective, to protect it.