I'm ashamed to tell my family I want to have WLS

I have made the decision to have WLS and have begun the process of getting insurance approval. However, I have yet to tell my family about this... Last year my cousin in TN had WLS - she swore her mom not to say anthing - I think she was there for five days (and my other relatives were worried about my aunt who was AWOL). All my mom can say is how selfish Julie was to make my Aunt Lynn do such a thing. So now I'm afraid to say ANYTHING to my family. I'm hoping that they will be in TN when I am told I can have my surgery. I have very few friends, and even fewer that I can trust to tell such a thing to. My problem is that I have always tried to be independent - even at an early age. I was embarrassed that I had to rely on my parents when I had neurosurgery in 1990, but that was pretty serious. I think I can handle this myself, and I would even drive myself to and from the hospital if I could. Did anyone out there have this problem???

I have only told 5 people of my decision. My two best friends--one who actually told me it was time to do this, she was worried about my health and said it is time to take care of myself. I told my husband and sister, and my 14 year old (who did NOT respond positively, in fact his response was very mean and hurtful). And you know what? I wish I had kept it between my best friend and spouse. At work I feel as if people know and are now watching everything I put in my mouth and are very judgemental. But,they are all thin or a little bit overweight. They will never (God willing) know what it is like to be my size. Everyday is a struggle. Unfortunately, you will have to tell the family. But you don't have to do it now. You should focus on staying heathy, and putting things in order for your surgery date and the days that follow. I will let my family members know when I have a date scheduled. I plan on doing this the wimpy way--via snail mail! :D)

Well, I am hoping that I can wait and tell them AFTER the surgery, and not before. I was hoping to discuss this with a trusted friend, but a few days ago she said some things that make me feel different toward her. It had to do with calling another friend, who snitched on some people in our group. I don't think anyone has the right to say who and who you cannot be friends with! My parents are in TN right now (I live with them due to a disability) so I want to get as much done before they come back...

Hi Rhonda, I know exactly how you feel. I am recently divorced 4/04 and have 3 children. I have told my Mom, Dad, and best friend that I will be having the surgery. My Mom and dad are totally against it. They say that I have 3 children who need me and that they have heard terrible things about the surgery. My Best friend is Jealous because she too would like to have the surgery but her insurance excludes it and her hubby is totally against it. My surgery date is 10/21/04. Coming up quick. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to email me anytime. Take care and I hope everything goes well for you! Laurie

I told exactly TWO people that I was going to have this surgery: my husband and my little sister. I knew that although most of my family members love me, many would be less than supportive and the 'heavier' ones would eventually resort to all out sabotage just so that I'd remain the fatter one. To save from someone 'accidentally' letting my private life slip in conversation, I figured the fewer people I told, the less I'd have to worry about it. My surgery was nearly 4yrs ago...and to this day, no one else in my family knows. I've not regretted that decision at all.