Now what?

Hi everyone, first time post here.  I am from Northern NJ.  Had gastric bypass 9/09 and lost 152 lbs which was 100% of what I needed to lose.  Went from 46 inch waist to 32 inch waist.  Amazing.  Now that I am thin, I do have some jiggly from having been heavy.  Luckily I dont have all that hanging skin that a lot of people get but some jiggly, even though I work out 4 days a week.

So now here I am ready to date, ready for a relationship etc.... and I am pretty intimated when I go to online websites and see naked pics of guys with all their hot bodies, same thing at the clubs.  Where does one go with some jiggly to meet other guys of quality?

Anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks.
Jeff 

Great question and I'm anxious to hear the replies.

I, too, have reached my goal weight. Similar to you, I don't have the hanging skin but there are areas around the stomach that jiggle. I can feel muscles underneath the jiggle but I'm far from having the 6-pack.

Glad you posting here and hope you come back often. Always good to have new people checking in.

 That's awesome!  Congrats.  What type of exercise regimen do you have?  Did you hire a personal trainer?

As far as exercise, I'm kinda of lightweight. I do a lot of walking / cardio. I'm starting to do a lot more travel for work so my gym time is limited and I don't have a personal trainer.

When I am able to do gym stuff, I'm working on the arms and trying to get them back in shape. I'm also working on crunches which is developing the muscles under the jiggle. But, I really do want that jiggle to go.

You have done an amazing job. Congrats.

I am down about 170 and at goal. I met my bf about 4 months ago when I was down about 145 or so. I think the key is just going out and meeting people you find interesting and being honest about who you are. Gay men can be picky about lots of things. I don't have a 14 inch pornstar attribute, I don't have perfect muscles, and I can't sit down on a traffic cone. This is just one more of those things. Gay men find a million reasons not to be into guys, and loose skin is just one of them.

Meet guys and if it doesn't work, just move on. I met my bf while I was on a date with a friend of his. Oops. But we just clicked and we seem to work really well together. I am not perfect, and he isn't either. But we fit. A relationship is more than some loose skin. Best of luck finding what you want.

Hello Jeff,

Welcome to the board!  There's a lot of nice people here and you'll be a great addition to our club.  

I had to laugh a bit about the jiggly.  What a good name for it!  I met my partner while working so I don't have any great advice for you.  There are some websites for men who have a particular physican interest, which I imagine you already know.  If you're into larger men or bears, biggercity is a great site.  Just be upfront and honest, without magnifying, and I imagine you'd find more than a taker or two.  What I tell my friends though is to get involved with your local community or interest group, whether it's knitting, reading or soccer.  Do something you're passionate about and when you meet someone you'll have a built in common interest.

It may not be worth 2 cents, but that's my advice.

Great to meet you Jeff and welcome!

-Danny

Hey Jeff,
Welcome, there is Light refreshments on the table help yourself. Most of us don't bite, well at least not in a bad way. I agree with Danny, really at its core is honesty is the best way to build a relationship of any kind.
One thing that I have seen over the years is that we tend to over analyze things and that can bring about a self fullfilling prophecy. It also seem like when you least expect it or think about it is when these things smack you in the face.
The bottom line is if you let go of the situation, it will work out. Then if you find you need to do something about the giggly pieces later do it. Dont over complicate it if you have gone through what you have to get where you are you will get through finding love, lust, or whatever it is you need.

If its meant to be its meant to be...

Hugs
G

 Thanks guys, great advice.  Been going onto a few sites but they seem to be mostly hookup sites, which is not what I am into.  I am really looking to meet someone with integrity and honesty who knows what the word monogamy means.....lol  Guess it is a rare thing.   Who knows maybe I should keep posting on these boards and maybe he is out there posting as well....lol

I do appreciate all the input from everyone.  My weight loss was actually a very simple journey, just stayed very focus and took the weight off quiet quickly.  I am an ex-weigh****chers instructor so I guess the gazillion years on their program enabled me to combine their tools.

Trick now as we all know is keeping the weight off.  I have some friends that lost weight with me, but they are starting to put the weight back on.  I hope I have learned my lesson.

Thanks again all,
Jeff from Northern New Jersey of all places....lol
:-)

 Hey Jeff :)

Congrats on the weight loss.  Im in the same place....lost 150, now Im suddenly single and trying to figure out this all meshes with dating...I guess the point most made is that maybe it doesn't really factor in at all.  I used to use the term "BBW" for myself...but now Im not really a BBW, and yet Im not toned and without the jiggly parts too!

Well, good luck to us all as we figure this out together :)

D