You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this one...
> A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on
> a night light, turned on the phone answering machine, covered their pet
> parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.
> They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived
> and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they
> had put out into the yard scoots back into the house.
> They don't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat
> the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to
> get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with the man in hot pursuit.
> Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn't want the driver to know the house
> will be empty for the night. She explains to the driver that her husband
> will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."
> A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so
> long", he says as they drive away. "Stupid ***** was hiding under the bed.
> Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to
> take off so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket
> to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass
> downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"
> The cabdriver hit a parked car...