Last week I met with my nutritionist for the first time, and went to a 3 hour FYI group meeting.  I feel like I should be "all fired up" and ready to do all the things I was told to start doing, like eating 4-5 mini-meals, watching my portion sizes, stop drinking carbonated (diet) soda, etc.  But that little voice in the back of my head keeps saying "go ahead and eat the things you want now, because you won't be eating them after surgery."  And now that little voice has added the annual "it's the holidays, just start in January" to my never ending battle of willpower.  I keep worrying that this is a sign I am not ready to commit to the changes I will need to make after surgery.  But, on the other hand I think "if I had the willpower in the first place then I wouldn't be overweight and needing to have bariatric surgery."  Has anyone else gone through this type of thinking prior to surgery?  Is it normal to feel this way?

 It is absolutely normal to think these things.  You're fixing your stomach, you're not fixing your head and no amount of sugery will fix your food issues.  Some people have a therapist for it, personally I don't and I struggle absolutely every day.  I've gone from 350 to 160 to 250 ( I had the lapband and had to have it removed when it herniated my stomach) and then back to 180 (I got the sleeve and started losing again) and then I got pregnant so I'm back up to 207.  It's a constant battle.  I'm not hungry right now, but I wouldn't mind a bowl of something creamy or crunchy or something...but I keep going back to the statement, "I'm not hungry right now".  Knowing that means that I somehow find the willpower (not all the time, just as I'm typing to you) to not go and get something.  That one statement saves me a great many times.  You see, with the sleeve, I don't even physically crave things as I used to...(they removed the portion of my stomach that creates grehlin that makes you crave things) but I have this active imagination and food.  I fantasize about it, think about it, desire it...and then when I get it, I don't really think it's all that great and I go hunting for the next fantasy (I'm thankful I don't have these issues about sex or I'd really be in trouble)....

I have many friends that have gone through this...and the most important thing to remember is that it's always going to be a battle, it's not a magic potion (I looked at all the before and after pictures and just thought it would happen like that...I'd be fat, *click* I have my surgery and I too would be posting that after picture...it doesn't work that way.  3 bites and I'm full, but in my head, I think, "OMG, that's so flippin' good, just one more bite"...isn't that what you think now?  As overweight people, we're great negotiators...we negotiate with ourselves all of the time.  That's how awesome we are...and unfortunately, how sucky we are.  Now, you have to stand up to yourself...YOU are the worst enemy of your weight loss...and this is only a tool to help you recognize when you're full.  You'll always be mentally wanting food, even at your goal weight, if you give into yourself, you'll be exactly where you're at before the surgery.  You might be thinking now, "I can have 3 super size meals at a time....how can I gain weight or NOT lose weight when I can eat such a limited amount after surgery?!"  Believe me, you can.  When I had the baby, I was back down to 188, now at 209...I look at my food that I've been consuming.  About a cup of food per meal with 2 snacks....it's no longer the amount of food, for me, it's the type of food.  I need certain types of food...and they have to be well thought out types of food...

Wish me luck, wish us all luck...because we need it as much as we need anything when battling our willpower. 

Thank you so much for your response.  I didn't get any response when I first posted this and was thinking I was the only one feeling this way.  I am going to have my Psych Eval this week and plan on continuing to talk to someone to help me get at the root of my eating habits.  I need to learn how to out-think the part of my brain that makes excuses for what I eat or why I deserve to eat things I know I shouldn't.  I have come to the point where I know I have run out of excuses.  When I think of losing weight I can hardly imagine how I will look 100 lbs thinner.  It's like I'm afraid I will jinx this having surgery if I try to picture myself thin.  What I do want is to have more energy, to go out and do things in life I have deprived myself of...like going to the beach or crabbing.  I am tired of aches and pains when I walk, and I have more trouble putting my shoes on now than I did when I was 9 months pregnant.  Thank you again for everything you said.  It does give me hope~Mary

 I know this was posted months ago, but I have only been a member for a few days, and this is exactly the reason why I am here! I feel like it should be so easy to say no to food, and get very upset when I give in to cravings. I am over three years into band surgery, and was doing great until the last year or so. Once the weight loss started slowing down, my eating habits got worse and worse. Fortunately my activity level is keeping me from gaining an excess amount of weight back, but it isn't enough to get me to my ever elusive goal weight! I really enjoyed reading both of your posts! Hope you are both continuing to do well with your weight loss journey.

Hi...I am sorry not to reply until now but I just had surgery Feb. 23rd.  I hope you are doing well with your weight loss.  I didn't go on a binge prior to my surgery but I  did eat pretty much what I wanted.  It hasn't been two weeks since my surgery and I worry about cheating.  I guess I thought I would not have any desire for food but boy was I wrong.  I had to make dinner for visiting family last night and the sight of bbq chicken and mashed potato's almost did me in.  I'm still in the "liquid only" phase of my post op so I did make myself some very creamy potato's and the small serving did satisfy me.  But prior to eating them I thought I was going to grab a spoon and binge eat...thankfully my new stomach reminded me I can not do that.  But I wonder, will I always be able to control myself.  This has to work.  We should have a forum where every post is a post is a positive saying or something that helps them overcome moments like these.  We had the surgery to help with the body part of this and now we all need constant positive help to retrain our minds. 
We can do it if we just keep working on our minds!!!  Take care and let me know how you are doing.

 Your not alone, I'm so depressed about my eating 26 days post op, I don't have anything to add but your not alone. Good luck to you

Hello!

This is such an important topic!

I am planning on having a sleeve in the next several months, and in preparation, I have been acting as if I have already had the surgery. I have been tracking my food, keeping a journal of my thoughts and feelings (a very powerful tool, by the way! Ohbutshehassuchaprettyface said something to the effect of we are our own enemies and our minds are great negotiators -- in my case, my mind is sneaky and works in mysterious and shadowy ways...the journaling really helps me to get "underneath" the thoughts that whizz by, often all but unnoticed, but that have a masterful influence on my eating behaviors, to the tune of being almost 100 pounds overweight). Another KEY resource for me is the idea of mindful eating. I have found the book "Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat" by Michelle May, MD to be of GREAT help. Her website is amihungry.com. (Also, she has an article about portion control on OH). From her I have learned how to really pay attention to my food, so that I recently have been finding that I can and am satisfied with MUCH less food than before. I have been journaling a lot about how I have made food very very important to me, beyond the point that is healthy for me. I, too, have been having impulses to eat unhealthy stuff or unhealthy quantities because "after surgery, I won't be able to eat this", but the mindful eating also is seeming to help me to be able to focus on other things when I have these thoughts or when my food imagination (thank you ohbutshehassuchaprettyface, for the idea of overactive food imagination!!) goes into overdrive. I also think of my surgeon -- I am asking him to focus all of his skill and education on MY guts, for an hour or so, while he and I in the operating room,  -- I am asking him to take a risk -- I am not the only one undertaking risk here -- I have a team arrayed for me, and I have a responsibliity to them. All of you on this board are part of my team, and I have a responsibility to all of you to do my part to make this work, to be willing to undergo discomfort, to pull myself outside of my comfort zone -- big time! (PS On Michelle May's website she has a new workbook for bariatric surgery patients, to go along with her book!! An excellent website, I think. )Thanks for listening.