x post-I guess it's time to fess up!

Hi to all of my Band friends.  I have been MIA for quite a long time, and it's time to come back to my family.  It looks like there are many of us struggling, and I feel like I need to put my struggle in writing in order to move on with what I need to do!!

For about the last 1 1/2 years I have lost close to nothing!  I had a port revision in June 2008, and a month or so after hit my all time low of 148
(-78 pounds).  I was 6 pounds from my surgeon's goal- SIX pounds!!

Well since then I have pretty much abused my band, eating until I can no longer eat, or taking a brea****il I could eat more of my meal.  I have been eating CRAP, not at all bandster friendly foods (just stuff that slides down easily-and we all know that's not solid protien and veggies).  I am now at 160 pounds.  The only reason I did not gain more is because I have this WONDERFUL tool known as the band that keeps me from eating really high volumes of the high cal foods!)  My size 14's are too snug and I am back into 16's.  I SWORE I would never go UP a size again!

I am dedicated to get to my surgeon's goal by my 3rd Bandiversary in June.  I
went to the grocery store yesterday an bought tons of really good high protein foods, and lots of veggies (hadn't really gone grocery shopping in around a month-eating out became my best friend again).  I have a memebership to Bally's that I haven't used in over 2 years!!  I am going to get back on track with that again too-want to try yoga, and will get back on the treadmill again.  I am going to hit Bally's this afternoon come hell or high water!.  I am so fearful of getting a fill (which I probably need), because I am fearful of losing my band if it's too tight, and I KNOW I would gain all of my weight back without it!

Ok, I feel much better now.  The reason I have always loved this board is due to the accountability and support we all receive here. Thanks for being there for me!

Mary

You can do it Mary! I am cheering for you.

Thank you :)

welcome back, and yes I agree accountability and being honest with yourself and others, keeps us on track.  I've been here since NOvember of 07, lurking off and on, but even all those successful people have their moments too.  its wonderful to see everyone stick together and help each other out.   Best of Luck to you, maybe you don't even need a fill.???

Thanks for your words of engouragement, I think I'm gonna try the "work with the fill I've got" approach.  I definately have restriction, I'm just not using it right!

Mary

i am SO discouraged I was banded 3 years ago.  Lost 35#, then started eating junk again and gained it all back.  I am quite sure the band is tight enough, but now I want bypass.  I know it is not magic. It's just a tool too, but I have heard that the dumping syndrome when sweets are eaten will cause you to not want to eat them anymore.  I HAVE to lose the weight. Lots of comorbidities.  Willing to get counseling, etc.  Anybody else ever been a complete failure?

You have done a great job with your band! You will never move forward unless you admit your problems, we are not perfect, a lot of newbies think this struggle is over after we get the band, it only JUST BEGINS...you can easily gain weight WITH GOOD RESTRICTION, I know! Been there done that too, I think the further we get out the harder it gets to stay motivated and follow the band rules, I have decided I don't want any more fill either, been too tight several times and I did not lose 1 pound when I was too tight so I know it does not work only cause pain and misery and a possible band slip.

Keep your head up you can do this!

Thanks Naomi for your woords of encouragement!  You have always been one of my idols regarding "playing it straight" with the band!  How are you doing?

Hi Mary! I am doing great these days, I have humbling come to peace with my band at this point in my journey. I have moderate restriction, I have gone from a size 26 and WAS down as low as wearing most size 10s and 12s. I had a emergency hernia repair surgery back in August, I was at my lowest weight at that point and after the surgery I could not exercise and my surgeon totally ufilled my band to do the surgery. I gained 10 pounds of water weight immediately while in the hospital, and then I was unfilled too so that was a recipe for disaster.

I ended up gaining back *gulp* almost 18 pounds, got my band refilled and I have lost and gained a little over the holidays, but I have lost 8 pounds so far, so good, now I need to get rid of the 10 extra pounds, if I lose these last 10 pounds I don't care if I don't lose anymore...but ideally I want to lose another 20 pounds before summer.

Also I found something to fill me up quickly and stop me from snacking and they are boiled eggs, I eat one for breakfast and lunch and then a small dinner and I have lost 5 pounds already! They fill my pouch is so I really don't need more fill. So I am very hopeful to get rid of this last 10 pounds I gained back by end of January.

You are looking good as usual, you got that hour glass figure going on WE can do this.

Thanks Naomi and keep up the GREAT work!