"But, you're not THAT big..."

mamaty
on 6/30/11 10:32 pm
Does anyone have a way of dealing with people who say you "are not that big" when you talk about surgery. Ive lucked out in life in that I carry my weight well...and have for years...but when people say this I kind of want to get a scale and be like "SEE I'm HUGE! Happy Now?..." I mean I'm flattered that I look ok...but at the same time it makes me a little wary of being as open as I have been because I feel a little judged for doing it...I don't know...just venting a little that's all...

Thanks
Erin

P.S....Umm I realized the other day that I go for my pre op on July 26th...and my surgery is on August 15th...people weren't kidding when they said it would fly by...I'm FREAKING out lol

   

DeeCanada
on 6/30/11 10:46 pm
I have been told that I wear it will also, even when I went at the Civic, the behaviourist said..You're not that big...
I guess it all has to do with perception or I dres really well, cause when I take it all off...there it is a 5 4' woman at 263 pounds...it ain't pretty but it is me...
But what freeks me out the most is....my husband is 5'11 and the same weight.

d
Lil-Stinker
on 6/30/11 11:08 pm
 Just say "thank you" and smile :-)
Referral sent on 26 Feb 2010 - Sleep Study on 28 May 2010 - Info session at WMC on 14 Jan 11- Appt with the APN (nurse) on 27 Jan 11 - Dietician and Behaviorist appts on Feb 24. WLS Class 6th April 2011 - Surgeon appt 3 May 2011 Dr Yelle - Surgery June 6th          
Cheryl D.
on 7/1/11 12:06 am - Toronto, Canada
You could explain to them that if you even qualify for the surgery then yes, you ARE that big.  Some people just carry it better than others, but it's there.  All the best to you as you get closer to your surgery and healthier life.


Cheryl

No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
    
Moselle
on 7/1/11 12:31 am - Athens, Canada
I hear you but just wait; I've lost 90 lbs in 6 months and I now weigh 177 lbs and I'm wearing a size 16 pants and a L top and several people have told me I've lost enough weight and that I'm "skinny" enough. I explain that I want to lose another 25 lbs so that I'm at the top of my healthy weight range for my height and they look surprised that I'm even entertaining losing more weight. 

I think they are just so used to seeing us heavier that they have trouble accepting the changes.  Like Lil Stinker said just smile and say thanks and hold on tight cause this is quite an exciting ride.

  "Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." -Robert Collier
Join Kingston Ontario WLS Support Group - Online @ OH 

  HW: 267         SW: 248       GW:155       LW: 132      CW: 143-148      

PatXYZ
on 7/1/11 2:44 am
I get this all the time, even most recently from my gynocologist. At a small framed 5'2" and 228lb I more than qualify (BMI just under 42), especially with my co-morbids. To be in the middle of the healthy BMI range I should be 120lbs (though I know 130 is probably more realistic) and would not be underweight until I hit 100lbs! I think sometimes people think of weight in absolute terms and don't take into account height and frame, so a weight in the low 200s sounds low for something as drastic as surgery when it fact it is perfectly appropriate. Something that might be helpful is to check out the 'Lightweights' board, I know this topic comes up from time to time. They are under Forums, Weightloss Related, Weight Loss Surgery Lightweights.
freakiechick10
on 7/1/11 6:59 am
lol, my answer was always................I am not that small............, it just freaks some people out, you get a totally different reaction when you tell people you have had it after you reach goal.   Get ready for an awesome ride!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take Care of You
Freakie
    

Freakie        
wannabeonehotmama
on 7/3/11 6:07 am - Ontario , Canada
I hear ya sister!!!   I'ts a weird thing to feel judged as being 'huge' but then also have some say you're 'not that big'!  

I felt some 'reverse discrimnation' at the orientation and other appts as I was a 'lightweight' (BMI around 41 - so even though I qualified on weight alone I did have significant comorbs)      No one looking at me could read my chart, or know what my health history/prognosis is like!   There are some ppl that are 400+ lbs with NO comorbs (yet) and some much smaller ppl who have all the expected problems.  I got quite a bit of pushback from some people, but you've just gotta steer your own course. 

There is no doubt in my mind that I'd be where I am today if it were not for WLS.  I'm not done, but I'm a helluva lot closer than I've ever been in the past decade, and feeling great!    NO regrets, not even a shadow of a doubt that this was THE decision for me.  My tool is enabling me to begin to live the lifestyle that I want for myself.  (except the super rich thing....waiting on 649 for that!!) 

Best of luck to you on your journey...

Jen~ 




                
  
          
Carpe Diem
on 7/3/11 9:46 am - Canada
People judge one another, favourably or unfavourably, all the time. Not worrying about that is how I'd try and deal with your situation. I had one woman say that to me till I told her how much I actually weighed. That shut her up quick. Lol
PaulaToronto
on 7/3/11 10:52 am - Toronto, Canada
My mother and my sister both love to tell me that I look normal from the back so don't turn around!!  I carry most of my weight in the stomach and bust and arms - apple shape - no butt or heavy legs. I guess it's kind of a compliment but what does that say about my front? lol 
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