Pre-Pre Op Appt Nerves!!

mamaty
on 7/20/11 3:13 am
I don't know why, but the last couple of days my nerves have been shot. I am so nervous, excited, scared, intimidated (I could go on) about my Pre-Op appointment . Its next Tuesday the 26th and I cant seem to get myself to calm down.

I shouldn't say that I don't know why I'm a bag of nerves. I know why, its because this all seems too good to be true. It wasn't long ago that I was feeling like i was destined to be fat forever. After a "chubby" childhood and an equally "chubby" early adulthood that were filled with diets I cant help but assume that its not going to happen.

Dr. Smith already said I was an ideal candidate...but I still expect him to find some weird flaw or something to tell me that I cant have this wonderful life changing tool. I mean the man is legitimately handing me my life back...and I don't mean my social life (although in a way he is)...I mean my life, my life with my husband to be, my life with my child. MY LIFE...the life i wouldn't necessarily have had if I decided to not be referred for this surgery. I think this is why I'm scared, im so afraid they will tell me no at the last minute. Because I want my LIFE.


WHEWWW...that felt good...

Feel free to share any thoughts you have on how I can relax a little.

Thanks,

Erin

   

Karen M.
on 7/20/11 3:40 am - Mississauga, Canada
hehehe
I"m glad you got that all off your chest!  That's bound to make you feel a little better.

Your nerves are totally normal.  Keep talking to us here, write down your feelings, list the positives,  write down your fears and decide if they're rational or not, etc.

:)

 

Karen

Ontario Recipes Forum - http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/ontario_recipes/

Nathalie_Can
on 7/20/11 4:12 am
so weird you say that...2 days ago, I had a dream:

I woke up in a bed, I was feeling weird and thought hmm, maybe I already had the surgery, so I looked down my nightgown and sure enough saw some bandages and thought to myself, wow, it was done way sooner then I thought, this is real, this really happened to me. wow.......and I woke up...lol

I woke up shaking so much from the inside and couldn't stop, actually got scared a bit, and my husband got scared next...lol...but realized it was kind of a panic attack.  If you would know me in real life, you would have never thought in a million years that I could have one of those, I'm very laid back, nothing bugs me and very positive....lol...but that, ouf!  woke me up to realize that it was actually concerning me more then I thought it was...I must be getting old....lol

As bad as this may sound, I even thought of slacking off coming on this website because I read every single post and thought my brain was registering way too much information for my own good and I still have 2 months before the surgery, I would bring myself to the ground if I kept reading...it's alot of information for a newbie...lol...even though everything here is amazing.  But of course, that didn't last 2 hours...lol...and realized that I had to deal with those feelings.  I can't live day by day on what makes me feel anxious or panicky, I have to be able to let go and realize that "this", is ALL good.  Nothing from this will be negative.  So why panick? Breathe and realize how much of a hot mama you'll be, how much more healthier you'll be.  How many years more you'll be able to play with your grand-kids later in life.  But most of all, how much you'll appreciate "YOU".  Why let this power control me...so right there and then, every feeling went away and I'm still rocking, counting the days until September 14th...lol

I hope it helps!
Best of luck to you!
Nathalie
  

    ~Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you really wanted!~    

JJ_
on 7/20/11 4:27 am
Hi Erin,

Sitting on a psychologist's couch....I wonder if the feelings your are experiencing are that you are not worthy of this?  Therefore someone in authority will tell you no, you do not qualify.

Glad to hear that it felt better to get it off your chest.

Judy
lovin_life
on 7/20/11 4:54 am - Canada
I feel COMPLETELY the same.. I met the surgeon yesterday and got my surgery date, tomorrow I am meeting the anesthesiologist and my patts appointment is in 2 weeks..And I just find myself constantly thinking about the negatives... will they turn me down last minute?, will I get really sick post op? Will I die on the table?. Don't get me wrong I am totally stoked about getting my date and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but I'm just scared. I know this is what I want to do, I have been going through the process and researching for almost 3 years, I have weighed the pro's and con's and it is my 100% choice but I guess it is just like "cold feet" before you get married. I constantly keep going through things in my mind.. the "what if's.." I just need to find that little "OFF" switch in my brain and focus on preparing for the blessing I am receiving. Everything will be great and when it is all said and done we will look back and be like..pfffffffff why was I so scared this is AMAZING!!!!
    
Referral sent to Guelph: April 2010        Second app (Nut/ Nurse): Jan. 31st/ 11
Orientation: September 16th, 2010        Surgery information class: May 10th/ 11          
Sleep Study: No sleep apnea                 Surgeon (Dr.Reed): July 19th/ 11     
H-pylori: Negative                                   PATTS: August 12th/ 11
(Nut/SW/Nurse): Dec.9th/10                     Surgery: August 18th/ 11                 
(deactivated member)
on 7/20/11 5:29 am - Canada
hi, you and i have surgery the same day....i know how you feel and i am excited about it all.....are you going to ottawa for this surgery.....if so we could be in same room together......i start the optifast on monday july 25 which is this monday coming up......it is going to seem strange not to eat and try to stop myself not to eat......that is what i been thinking of.......i been chubby all my life to....but i cant wait for the first time in my life to be small and live longer than my mother did.....i will be 50 in six months and my mom and my aunt both died when they were 50 and my mom 56....i look at them and say to myself....i am doing this because i dont want to end up where my mom is in another 6 years.......i want to live life and do more before my time is up.......please let me know where you are going and hoping we will meet in ottawa the same day......
mamaty
on 7/20/11 6:31 am
Im actually going to be at St. Joes in Toronto that day...I have my surgery first thing in the morning at 8:30...its probably a good thing because i couldnt deal with the whole day waiting.

I am so excited to not be the big girl in the room...Im excited to shop and appreciate what I see because I will have worked so hard to obtain it.

At the moment I try to figure out if im the biggest girl in the room...I hate when I am :(

Gosh I cant wait to shop and wear clothes on the sale rack...you know the sales rack thats mark like 2 for 10...not 2 for 30 like certain plus stores...

So many exciting things...ahh nerves are easing up a bit...

Thanks Folks this really helps

PS>I will be sending good vibes ur way on the 15th :D

   

(deactivated member)
on 7/20/11 6:56 am - Canada
mine is at 830 am same day in ottawa.........i do wish you all the best......and speedy recovery
BrigitteD
on 7/20/11 6:19 am - Sumerstown, Canada
Nice to see that we are not alone feeling like this, guess it's part of the process!  Thank you for expressing you're feeling's, it felt like I could here myself say the very same thing.:)

Highs weigh   241                                      Referal: November, 2010
Before opti     231                                      Surgery date: May 10, 2012
After opti        220                                           
         
 
          

        
laura S.
on 7/20/11 6:28 am - London, Canada
Hi Erin,

I totally get what you are saying and feel a lot of the same things you are feeling right now.  My PATTs is next Wednesday the 26th with surgery on August 11th and my emotions are kind of out of whack right now.  I'll catch myself staring off into space feeling kind of sad for a while for no reason really, but then later will be really excited that my surgery date is so close.  Apparently I'm doing a lot of snuggling and talking in my sleep with my husband, so obviously I'm more anxious than I'm even aware and I'm waking up constantly through the night.  I got into a huge argument with my son last week and was so worried that we wouldn't patch things up before surgery - so obviously the possibility of the worst possible outcome is preying on my subconscious.  Time seems to be dragging each day, but the weeks are flying by.  I just don't feel like my old self.  Which is probably a good thing though since my life will be changing drastically soon.

Thinking about all the changes and how different some aspects of my life will be are seriously messing with my head!!!  I know I'll be ok once it happens.  I am strong and will get through it, it's just a lot to wrap your head around.  You'll be ok!  Better than ok when it's all done!!!!  I think all this is just a part of the whole process and everyone goes through it to some degree.

Best of luck,

Laura


  
  
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