How did you tell your employer about the surgery?

I am hesitating to inform my employer about my upcoming surgery - I don't even have a date yet, but should have one by the end of the month.

Did you tell your employer what kind of surgery you were having? I do a lot of walking and lifting at my job, and would have to return, after a period of healing and resting, as modified.

I am also hesitant to tell my co-workers about my surgery. There are a very select few who know about it right now (husband, sister, mother and a coworker who previously had the surgery).

When did you inform your employer about the surgery? Was it received well? Any problems with work?

What did you tell friends and family? Did you tell them you had weight loss surgery? (I casually mentioned it to a coworker and she looked at me like I was insane. She insisted it was a bad choice and that I would regret it :()

Hi, I can share my  experience so far.  Have told my husband from Day 1 and he is super supportive, we have a very close marriage.  Told my boss who is a Nurse and she was totally against me doing it because her best friend did it about 10-15 yrs ago and failed miserably at it. But she told me she supports me 100% no matter what I do but she said she didn't think I should do it.  She is a wonderful boss and I totally feel her support.  I have told some of my co workers that I deal with on a daily basis but I have only told them I am having "surgery" and will be taking a medical leave for 4-6 weeks. A few have accepted that and wished me well some have said "oh my god, is everything ok, are you ok, what kind of surgery" and I just smile and say politely  that I prefer not to discuss the surgery but that everything is fine and I thank them for their concern.  Have not told anyone in my family and that is just due to cir****tances that the "perfect" time has not come up to say it and I am fearful of their reactions.   But I was all prepared to tell my family on Thanksgiving as they were all there but there was an "incident" that prevented me from telling so the moment passed. I am having dinner with my neice (she is 18) tomorrow night, she is like the daughter I never had and I am telling her tomorrow, I am telling my Mom & Dad next weekend we are going out to dinner with them and then I think I will email my sister (who I am not close with) or just call her on the phone.  That is pretty much it.   

I know a lot of people whose families and co workers have known from Day 1 but for me personally this is a BIG DEAL and I am a private person and I am not comfortable with a lot of people knowing.  So that is why for me not a lot of people know.   And for the record how I am telling my family members I am going at it with a "this is for my health, its not about vanity, its because I wan to live longer and be the best wife, daughter, aunt, sister and employee I can be without struggling every day with negative body image issues and dealing with the aches and pains of the added weight."  

Good luck to you, hope my musings helped.

All the best,

Leslie

I was completely honest with everyone about it.  I witnessed a co-worker try to hide it, but the weight comes off so quickly, that people began talking and speculating about it.   I didn't want that, so i was open about it.  A few people challenged me, but the vast majority were very supportive and happy for me. 

My employer was also very supportive and encouraged me to return to work when I was feeling 100%.

 

 

From a human resources point you do not need to disclose any personal information that you don't want to. All you need is a note from a Dr stating how long you need off and if you will have any limitations once you return to your job. Your employer can say they cannot accomadate any limitations in which case you stay off on medical leave until you can return to full duties. They cannot require that you disclose any details of why you are off or what kind of surgery you are having. They may ask out of concern or curiosity but you can say you would rather not say or give a general answer like an abdominal surgery or something.

I told no one at work the type of surgery I was having. A month or two post op people started commenting on the drastic loss and at that point I shared. Pre op I just didn't want to hear peoples opinion or the horror stories about friends of friends and so on. People who didn't know might have gossiped about what was wrong with me but I didn't really care! If someone actually came to me and asked I told them, because I wasn't ashamed.

Hope that helps some!

I have told my husband, children, Mother and my boss (the nature of the work I am in I am a contract sales person and he needs to know). Also one admin person at my office who is the sweetest person I know and she wouldn't tell a soul.

I cannot agree with the term 'being completely honest about it', sorry, we all have our opinions and if that is how some perceive it that is okay.  Not for me.  I don't feel my not telling people is being dishonest.  It's no one's business but mine, my husband and children's - I don't mean this in an aggressive way, it's just how I see it, it doesn't mean I am right. It's a personal choice.

I have a hernia so I will tell co-workers and friends that that is the surgery I am having because it is getting fixed too so it's not a fabricated lie.

I know there will be a couple of people in particular that will grill me as to why I don't drink anymore, why my food consumption is way way wayyyy down - I am not sure how I will handle that but I definitely won't be telling anyone else.

Jo

I did not share it with my employer at all and took vacation time off instead of using my sick time.  As in my work place I have seen my boss and HR google Drs names to determine what area of medicine staff are dealing with. I was offended by this and feel it was not there business.  And when I googled Dr Jackson it comes up, I'm not sure what if anything I will say once the weight loss is noticeable?...  Some at work have noticed that I eat differently but none have come out and asked, I am very private but honest as well so would not lie if asked.

I told everyone what I was doing. I work in a hospital as a cleaner and do ALOT of heavy lifting. 

I had started to change my eating habits 6months before my surgery and started losing some weight and people noticed so I couldn't hide it. People from work asked me if I was already losing weight why was I wanting the surgery; my response to them was that I would lose so much and not get any lower or healthier. It was like that for as long as I can remember.

When I decided to have the surgery and everything was starting to take place, I told my bosses. They were supportive. Everyone was relatively supportive. 

You don't have to tell anyone anything. It's what YOU are comfortable with. I told everyone because I was excited. Finally I was going to be healthy! 

My cir****tance with time off was a little different. For my surgery, I told my dr that I wanted to take 8 weeks off because I am a cleaner and do tonnes of heavy lifting. I also told him that I didn't want to have ANY chances of infection (I clean some pretty gross stuff and clean infectious things) I didn't feel that if I had to clean any kind of "contact" room, that a gown would be sufficient enough to make me happy. He gave me the 8 weeks that I requested.

My surgery was in Sept 2010 but I had been off from June 2010 to Jan 2011... I was in a car accident and hurt my hand and I was put off by the dr for 3months, then I had my RNY then the day I was to return to work, I had my gall bladder out. I told my dr that I just wanted to finish off my EI time; he was reluctant but gave it to me. I told him that I pay into it and hardly ever use it. My bosses had nothing to say about it. I was in communication with them frequently and kept them up to date. 

I simply let them know I would be on Leave of Absence for 4 weeks, and I had a hospital note from the team stating I was having surgery. 

I had to fill out insurance papers at work and those were confidential for our HR Director only. No one else needs to know what the surgery is for, you will have a surgeons note.

I did tell my boss, no one on my team or other co-workers. This is my choice and not theirs, my boss is supportive. She knew I had a lot of hospital visits etc while going through the program and I sat down and told her timelines when I knew more. 

She has not said anything and no one at the office has commented yet, I don't really see it yet but I am down 70 lbs with a LOT more to go. 

As for family and friends. My best friend is a huge support, my other friends I have not told because I don't really want their opinion on the matter and it would easily become gossip. 

My parents know, my mom came to meetings with me, my dad was hesitant and was of the "eat less, exercise more, have will power" group but came around and is proud of me. My sister knows and she is supportive, my brother I told last only because of my SIL. She is supportive but her whole family now knows and it was a topic of conversation at Thanksgiving. It wasn't bad just a lot of questions and not really a group I want to share my personal stories with.

The one thing I will say if people tell me I shouldn't have done it...  I simply let them know my doctor, surgeon, dietician, nurse practitioner  and other health care team members feel this is the right choice for me and I trust theirs and my research and information. I appreciate their concern but I am under the care of a great team that specialize in this surgery and program.

Thanks everyone. I feel better about it now.

Leanne1, I am pretty sure we work at the same place ;)  You look familiar to me.

I did not tell anyone at work what kind of surgery I had.  I just said that I was having surgery that would "help my back", which is true because the more weight you lose, the better your back is.  I also told them that I was starting a "lifestyle" change and that I was no longer eating any sugar or white flour - hence the weight loss.  Since I work in a nursing home which also requires a lot of walking and lifting, I asked my doctor for the full 8 weeks off. I recommend you do the same. You really don't need to tell them anything. No one really asked for any details and they are just happy that I'm losing weight on my new "lifestyle" change!  Hope this helps.