Thinking. . . Feelings as Relates to Food Post
As someone who is 3-1/2 years post-op and involved at a Group Leadership level in my own area, as well as having been a member on OH from before beginning the earnest pursuit of WLS, I have made some observations that we all touch on from time to time, but I believe it is a silent, deadly killer for many of us and I want to put this idea that has formulated out there for feedback from you all. . .
The many of us took this road to combat our weight related health issues, most, if not all found ourselves at a point of desperation either through a suggestion from a professional or by hearing it on television by a celebrity or a friend or family member did it and we may have watched them and thought, ok, maybe it isn't such a bad idea (this last one was my experience). I doubt seriously that we had not tried every other means before arriving at this place and changing our insides with the hopes that finally a solution would be had to a problem that we, of ourselves, could not seem to get a handle on.
Ultimately, we turned ourselves over to the capable hands of our surgeons and said, ok, I am willing to do what I need to beyond that point of surgical intervention and so most of us have. . . as time marches on, we, many of us, find ourselves living "normal" lives, when in the past we were anything normal when it came to our love affair with food. . . as I've heard all too often and repeated many times, this surgery does not include our brains and the habits we have formed over a lifetime and therefore, if we fail to do things differently, we will find ourselves facing the same things AGAIN!!!
For some of us, the calories are not bad food choices, they are too much of the good stuff, for others, empty calories, in the liquid form have crept in, calories in, too little physical activity, equates to the same disastrous results as what got us here to begin with. I am guilty of eating too much "good stuff" and the occasional stuff I should not even be looking at, never mind eating it, as well as for a very long time, I was at the gym 4/5 times weekly, now not so much, honestly, I went back, I do enjoy it somewhat, however, I have a heel spur that is healing and not allowing me the ability to even walk as much as I enjoy, but this too shall pass and there are other things I guess I can do that don't involve my feet (excuses, excuses, so much a predecessor of what came before this). . .
Ok, purpose of this expose on me and my bad habits and from what I see around me and read here, I am not alone . . . I am thinking that the time is now to have a daily post (as best can be) on speaking HONESTLY where you are at, what feelings are driving you to eat yourself back to where this all began and making a daily effort to change what we have thus far forgotten to change, our relationship with food as it exists within us. . . comfort, covering feelings, not being assertive or standing up for ourselves in a manner that commands respect, self-respect is what I am talking about, respecting ourselves to demand the very best instead of the back of the bus type mentality, if not now, when?
I've slid 25 lbs in the wrong direction, 10 of those are not something that matter to me, as I feel I looked my best there, but these 15 are scaring me and at the same time, as Cheryl said, I am creating an environment for self-fulfilling prophecy.
So are you in? I cannot do this alone, I need your help. . . this will not be a food log, but a dialog about our feelings and why are we reaching for food type of daily post, I will start it up and it will be a dialog between us to try and get to the heart of the matter, by sharing honestly with one another and it can be as brief or long as needed, multiple entries based on the progression of your day/night and anyone can chime in and offer suggestions, feedback and try to do it kindly, but realizing that the truth may not be pretty and we need to be able to accept what is offered without getting offended, remembering that each person's truth is in constant evolution and therefore based on their own personal experience, own it if it's yours, let it go if you don't feel it applies, all that is needed is an open mind . . . none of us (well maybe there are some of us) are professionals, but we are professional weightlossers (lol). . . humor and levity are welcome, as laughter often times helps lighten things up. . .
This is my beginning. . .
My job is boring, I feel as though I am not a respected contributor here and that because of situations beyond my control, I have been set up to fail from the beginning. . . things have improved since the two parties that were really not very nice, have left, but I still feel inadequate and when food is around, I think I need to feed my hunger, when in fact, often I believe what I am feeding is my fear and boredom. Just for today I will make a concentrated effort on not eating more than is necessary to feed my body, I will not use food as a form of comfort.
Hugs, Laureen (please note that I have updated my ticker to reflect my actual weight as it was this morning)
The many of us took this road to combat our weight related health issues, most, if not all found ourselves at a point of desperation either through a suggestion from a professional or by hearing it on television by a celebrity or a friend or family member did it and we may have watched them and thought, ok, maybe it isn't such a bad idea (this last one was my experience). I doubt seriously that we had not tried every other means before arriving at this place and changing our insides with the hopes that finally a solution would be had to a problem that we, of ourselves, could not seem to get a handle on.
Ultimately, we turned ourselves over to the capable hands of our surgeons and said, ok, I am willing to do what I need to beyond that point of surgical intervention and so most of us have. . . as time marches on, we, many of us, find ourselves living "normal" lives, when in the past we were anything normal when it came to our love affair with food. . . as I've heard all too often and repeated many times, this surgery does not include our brains and the habits we have formed over a lifetime and therefore, if we fail to do things differently, we will find ourselves facing the same things AGAIN!!!
For some of us, the calories are not bad food choices, they are too much of the good stuff, for others, empty calories, in the liquid form have crept in, calories in, too little physical activity, equates to the same disastrous results as what got us here to begin with. I am guilty of eating too much "good stuff" and the occasional stuff I should not even be looking at, never mind eating it, as well as for a very long time, I was at the gym 4/5 times weekly, now not so much, honestly, I went back, I do enjoy it somewhat, however, I have a heel spur that is healing and not allowing me the ability to even walk as much as I enjoy, but this too shall pass and there are other things I guess I can do that don't involve my feet (excuses, excuses, so much a predecessor of what came before this). . .
Ok, purpose of this expose on me and my bad habits and from what I see around me and read here, I am not alone . . . I am thinking that the time is now to have a daily post (as best can be) on speaking HONESTLY where you are at, what feelings are driving you to eat yourself back to where this all began and making a daily effort to change what we have thus far forgotten to change, our relationship with food as it exists within us. . . comfort, covering feelings, not being assertive or standing up for ourselves in a manner that commands respect, self-respect is what I am talking about, respecting ourselves to demand the very best instead of the back of the bus type mentality, if not now, when?
I've slid 25 lbs in the wrong direction, 10 of those are not something that matter to me, as I feel I looked my best there, but these 15 are scaring me and at the same time, as Cheryl said, I am creating an environment for self-fulfilling prophecy.
So are you in? I cannot do this alone, I need your help. . . this will not be a food log, but a dialog about our feelings and why are we reaching for food type of daily post, I will start it up and it will be a dialog between us to try and get to the heart of the matter, by sharing honestly with one another and it can be as brief or long as needed, multiple entries based on the progression of your day/night and anyone can chime in and offer suggestions, feedback and try to do it kindly, but realizing that the truth may not be pretty and we need to be able to accept what is offered without getting offended, remembering that each person's truth is in constant evolution and therefore based on their own personal experience, own it if it's yours, let it go if you don't feel it applies, all that is needed is an open mind . . . none of us (well maybe there are some of us) are professionals, but we are professional weightlossers (lol). . . humor and levity are welcome, as laughter often times helps lighten things up. . .
This is my beginning. . .
My job is boring, I feel as though I am not a respected contributor here and that because of situations beyond my control, I have been set up to fail from the beginning. . . things have improved since the two parties that were really not very nice, have left, but I still feel inadequate and when food is around, I think I need to feed my hunger, when in fact, often I believe what I am feeding is my fear and boredom. Just for today I will make a concentrated effort on not eating more than is necessary to feed my body, I will not use food as a form of comfort.
Hugs, Laureen (please note that I have updated my ticker to reflect my actual weight as it was this morning)
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Hey Maryanne,
Thanks, you'd be surprised how put off many people are by my openess, but I am who I am and sometimes it's hard, though I will say, I've learned where and with who to be open with. . .
Glad you are back among us. . .
Laureen
Thanks, you'd be surprised how put off many people are by my openess, but I am who I am and sometimes it's hard, though I will say, I've learned where and with who to be open with. . .
Glad you are back among us. . .
Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Laureen, this is a good thread.
So many of us are several years out from surgery and have begun to struggle with weight gain. I was like you, and lost more than I probably should have. The first 7-8 lb re-gain was welcome. But the next 15 lbs I re-gained has me scared. For me, I know the biggest problem is boredom. Even if I'm busy, if my mind isn't involved I get bored and turn to food. It's a big part of why I gained so much in the first place, and now that my life is pretty much what I want it to be, boredom is the culprit.
I retired a year ago and have been doing a bit of volunteer work, and that has helped. Once the weather turns better I'll be more active and be outside in the garden. I know the 7 lbs I put on after my foot surgery in January has just added to the problem. I'm one of those people who absolutely hates to exercise. But I've gotten my (larger) butt in gear and I went to a Zumba Gold class this week, and enjoyed it and will be going twice a week. I'm determined to get my metabolism going and get my foot back in working order.
That said, I don't want to be one of those people who is frantically rushing from activity to activity. I like my house and I really enjoy my solitude more often than not. I just need to find a happy medium. I'll work on that.
Meanwhile, BOREDOM is my curse, and I'll work on it.
Thanks for starting this thread.
Candy
So many of us are several years out from surgery and have begun to struggle with weight gain. I was like you, and lost more than I probably should have. The first 7-8 lb re-gain was welcome. But the next 15 lbs I re-gained has me scared. For me, I know the biggest problem is boredom. Even if I'm busy, if my mind isn't involved I get bored and turn to food. It's a big part of why I gained so much in the first place, and now that my life is pretty much what I want it to be, boredom is the culprit.
I retired a year ago and have been doing a bit of volunteer work, and that has helped. Once the weather turns better I'll be more active and be outside in the garden. I know the 7 lbs I put on after my foot surgery in January has just added to the problem. I'm one of those people who absolutely hates to exercise. But I've gotten my (larger) butt in gear and I went to a Zumba Gold class this week, and enjoyed it and will be going twice a week. I'm determined to get my metabolism going and get my foot back in working order.
That said, I don't want to be one of those people who is frantically rushing from activity to activity. I like my house and I really enjoy my solitude more often than not. I just need to find a happy medium. I'll work on that.
Meanwhile, BOREDOM is my curse, and I'll work on it.
Thanks for starting this thread.
Candy
I for one am glad for this thread.....I know living alone and being bored is definitely one of my problems too. When I am around people and it's time to eat, I follow the rules to a "T".....when I eat alone here at home, I overeat, and snack. Why can't I do it right all the time -- that's what gets me down. I know what the rules are -- I feel ashamed to be a support group leader and have to have my members know that I have gained weight....just doesn't set a good example.
I do exercise, albeit usually only 15 -20 minutes 3 or 4 times a week. I use a recumbent bike because of the issue with my numb foot I can't walk which is what I'd like to do. I keep thinking if I was only a good swimmer, that would be the perfect exercise, easy on my arthritic joints but great cardio. I'm going to see if I can get some lessons and try swimming laps --- I can only try.
I appreciate everyone's comments and support -- it's just what I need, as we all do.
Love and hugs to all my friends here,
Pat R.
I do exercise, albeit usually only 15 -20 minutes 3 or 4 times a week. I use a recumbent bike because of the issue with my numb foot I can't walk which is what I'd like to do. I keep thinking if I was only a good swimmer, that would be the perfect exercise, easy on my arthritic joints but great cardio. I'm going to see if I can get some lessons and try swimming laps --- I can only try.
I appreciate everyone's comments and support -- it's just what I need, as we all do.
Love and hugs to all my friends here,
Pat R.
(on MySpace, MSN, Web pages, Blogs...)
Done! Your Ticker:
Pat,
I am glad you like this idea and I love that you said yourself that you can take lessons, as that is the attitude we need to have. We need to stretch beyond whatever it is holding us back, mostly our thoughts, that we can't, won't or NEVER would be able to achieve something. . .
Hugs, L
I am glad you like this idea and I love that you said yourself that you can take lessons, as that is the attitude we need to have. We need to stretch beyond whatever it is holding us back, mostly our thoughts, that we can't, won't or NEVER would be able to achieve something. . .
Hugs, L
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Hey Candy,
I hear you about rushing from activity to activity, because for a long while I was doing that, in some ways I still do, but was slowed down some by winter, which I have to admit is a welcome relief when it arrives, as I feel I can excuse myself from more of the activities that I would get drawn into, which I guess is a side I need to look at. . .
Feelings of guilt when I say no, still abound, ie, my DIL called on Wednesday afternoon, I did not get the call until later in the day because I was at work and she called my cell phone and I already had something planned for that evening, felt as though I should cancel my plans to see her and the grandkids, but I choose to do what I was doing, part of that is because I really enjoy my recovery related things as they help me to stay connected to doing what I need to for me, but the other part, to be honest is, my DIL, now this is a feeling and not necesarily the truth of the matter, but I feel as though she only calls me when her parents are busy and as a last resort. . . sad thinking and feeling that way. . . especially when seeing my grandkids is something I really enjoy. . . these are the insights into what makes me tick. . . even if that were the case, I deprived me and the grands of time to spend together. . . but made a choice to do something I was already committed to for me. . . fine line between being selfish and doing what is good for me. . . however, the thing is they know my schedule and the things I am involved in and when I am asked in advance, I almost always say yes and show up as planned, so it involves a feeling of being respected enough to be asked with forethought of my life.
My boredom is a mind thing, because other than at work, I am seldom bored at home. . .
Glad you like the idea of the thread. .
I hear you about rushing from activity to activity, because for a long while I was doing that, in some ways I still do, but was slowed down some by winter, which I have to admit is a welcome relief when it arrives, as I feel I can excuse myself from more of the activities that I would get drawn into, which I guess is a side I need to look at. . .
Feelings of guilt when I say no, still abound, ie, my DIL called on Wednesday afternoon, I did not get the call until later in the day because I was at work and she called my cell phone and I already had something planned for that evening, felt as though I should cancel my plans to see her and the grandkids, but I choose to do what I was doing, part of that is because I really enjoy my recovery related things as they help me to stay connected to doing what I need to for me, but the other part, to be honest is, my DIL, now this is a feeling and not necesarily the truth of the matter, but I feel as though she only calls me when her parents are busy and as a last resort. . . sad thinking and feeling that way. . . especially when seeing my grandkids is something I really enjoy. . . these are the insights into what makes me tick. . . even if that were the case, I deprived me and the grands of time to spend together. . . but made a choice to do something I was already committed to for me. . . fine line between being selfish and doing what is good for me. . . however, the thing is they know my schedule and the things I am involved in and when I am asked in advance, I almost always say yes and show up as planned, so it involves a feeling of being respected enough to be asked with forethought of my life.
My boredom is a mind thing, because other than at work, I am seldom bored at home. . .
Glad you like the idea of the thread. .
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
This is a wonderful idea Laureen! This is just what I need... a safe place to let it all hang out. I tend to do better when I can process my feelings, and writing really works for me- PLUS having you great women to listen and sometimes respond- that's just the best part!
I think that my eating is part habit, part response to anxiety. When I was very young I found that food dulled my anxiety like nothing else could. Now I find that I tend to keep food "right there" just in case. My anxiety is not high at all anymore, but the everyday pangs are all the excuse I need. I graze... I need to get a handle on that. I need to feel the feelings.
Julia
I think that my eating is part habit, part response to anxiety. When I was very young I found that food dulled my anxiety like nothing else could. Now I find that I tend to keep food "right there" just in case. My anxiety is not high at all anymore, but the everyday pangs are all the excuse I need. I graze... I need to get a handle on that. I need to feel the feelings.
Julia
Julia,
That is the reason I thought this might be a good idea, because we share daily about the things we do in our everyday lives, which is great, it's how we became connected on some level, but I know there are times I censure myself on that thread for fear of letting you all know how I am struggling or feeling.
So what my thinking was this is a separate place to post whatever is going on in our heads without judgment, where sometimes I think things get lost in that kind of posting and what I want to create is a posting where we can be as honest about how we are feeling in relation to where we are or the struggles, I also believe for some of us the idea of getting in touch with how we feel is scary and causes people to fall away or live secret lives, ie, transfer addiction behaviors, afraid to let people really know how we feel for fear of judgment and perhaps in finding that we share more in common than we think, it will help us on this wacky journey of ours. . . I think, at least for now, it is a good place to begin and I'm sure as time goes on, it will ebb and flow.
That is the reason I thought this might be a good idea, because we share daily about the things we do in our everyday lives, which is great, it's how we became connected on some level, but I know there are times I censure myself on that thread for fear of letting you all know how I am struggling or feeling.
So what my thinking was this is a separate place to post whatever is going on in our heads without judgment, where sometimes I think things get lost in that kind of posting and what I want to create is a posting where we can be as honest about how we are feeling in relation to where we are or the struggles, I also believe for some of us the idea of getting in touch with how we feel is scary and causes people to fall away or live secret lives, ie, transfer addiction behaviors, afraid to let people really know how we feel for fear of judgment and perhaps in finding that we share more in common than we think, it will help us on this wacky journey of ours. . . I think, at least for now, it is a good place to begin and I'm sure as time goes on, it will ebb and flow.
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Hi Laureen,
Thanks for starting this thread. As of 2 days ago I'm trying to be more open. I forgot how much it helps me to write things down. I use to journal every day and give myself a little bit of quiet time when I first got up. I don't know why I quit. Yes, I do. I went back to school to finish my business degree. Only took 10 months but it was very difficult. My Mom who lived w/ me hardly had any quality time w/ me because I was at school or studying. I looked for a job but never got one. Then Mom got very ill and in 4 months she was gone. I carry a lot of guilt for leaving her alone so much in her last 10 months of good health. Gained 100 pounds in 3 years since. Now trying hard to get back into living instead of existing. My RNY was my first step to a better and happier life. Mag
Thanks for starting this thread. As of 2 days ago I'm trying to be more open. I forgot how much it helps me to write things down. I use to journal every day and give myself a little bit of quiet time when I first got up. I don't know why I quit. Yes, I do. I went back to school to finish my business degree. Only took 10 months but it was very difficult. My Mom who lived w/ me hardly had any quality time w/ me because I was at school or studying. I looked for a job but never got one. Then Mom got very ill and in 4 months she was gone. I carry a lot of guilt for leaving her alone so much in her last 10 months of good health. Gained 100 pounds in 3 years since. Now trying hard to get back into living instead of existing. My RNY was my first step to a better and happier life. Mag
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