Feelings as Relates to Emotional Eating - Living in the Solution
Good Morning OFFrs
I want to thank each of you for taking the time to share what it is that makes you turn to/turn away from taking care of yourself the way we know we should be taking care of ourselves. . .
So yesterday was a great day at my support group meeting, I just love being a part of this journey, even if it is not always easy or without struggles, but then that is life, if we haven't learned that by our age, then when. . . my food choices, well with the exception of a french creuller at my women's AA meeting last night, I did good.
Today's reflection talks about something that was always a means for me to eat myself drunk. . . dealing with things head on, I was very passive aggressive in my younger years and at times I still can go there, but I can say that is probably why I had ulcers, I kept it all in, until Mt. Vesius errupted and created my own Pompei. . . in between, I ate and ate, today I still grapple with confrontations, for those of you that know me well, you probably find that hard to believe (lol), but standing up and asking for something directly without trying to manipulate someone into doing what I want, without having to ask for it, has taken a lifetime to learn and it still does not come easy, it comes from deep seated childhood issues, that ultimately made me believe inside that to ask for something is setting myself up for disappointment, so it's better not to ask. . . you know I've learned that most times if I ask the right way, there is a good chance I will get what I need. . .
Ok, plan for today, make good choices, think before I eat, ask if I am eating from hunger or emotion and choose accordingly. . .
Wishing you all a wonderful, balanced day.
Hugs, Laureen
I want to thank each of you for taking the time to share what it is that makes you turn to/turn away from taking care of yourself the way we know we should be taking care of ourselves. . .
So yesterday was a great day at my support group meeting, I just love being a part of this journey, even if it is not always easy or without struggles, but then that is life, if we haven't learned that by our age, then when. . . my food choices, well with the exception of a french creuller at my women's AA meeting last night, I did good.
Today's reflection talks about something that was always a means for me to eat myself drunk. . . dealing with things head on, I was very passive aggressive in my younger years and at times I still can go there, but I can say that is probably why I had ulcers, I kept it all in, until Mt. Vesius errupted and created my own Pompei. . . in between, I ate and ate, today I still grapple with confrontations, for those of you that know me well, you probably find that hard to believe (lol), but standing up and asking for something directly without trying to manipulate someone into doing what I want, without having to ask for it, has taken a lifetime to learn and it still does not come easy, it comes from deep seated childhood issues, that ultimately made me believe inside that to ask for something is setting myself up for disappointment, so it's better not to ask. . . you know I've learned that most times if I ask the right way, there is a good chance I will get what I need. . .
Ok, plan for today, make good choices, think before I eat, ask if I am eating from hunger or emotion and choose accordingly. . .
Wishing you all a wonderful, balanced day.
Hugs, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Getting what we need....
For me, this touches on the idea of self worth. For my entire life, I have had issues with this.
If there was anything that needed to be done for anyone else, I could/would not do something for myself. If I saw any job undone or incomplete, or if my house wasn't picture perfect (well, almost), I could/would not do something for myself. Those needs of OTHERS always took priority over any needs of MINE.
So...if I knew I should exercise or take a walk, I didn't unless every job was done and the house was perfect. Which means I never took the walks.
I know that for many years, I ate to mask feelings. I ate in secret starting at a very young age. I hid food starting at age 11. Instead of speaking up for what I needed, I ate. Instead of acknowledging my own self worth, I ate and strived (strove?) for unrealistic levels of perfection and control.
This weekend, I've read/heard twice that perfectionism is based in fear. I have to explore that idea.
It's still very hard for me to ask for what I need.
For me, this touches on the idea of self worth. For my entire life, I have had issues with this.
If there was anything that needed to be done for anyone else, I could/would not do something for myself. If I saw any job undone or incomplete, or if my house wasn't picture perfect (well, almost), I could/would not do something for myself. Those needs of OTHERS always took priority over any needs of MINE.
So...if I knew I should exercise or take a walk, I didn't unless every job was done and the house was perfect. Which means I never took the walks.
I know that for many years, I ate to mask feelings. I ate in secret starting at a very young age. I hid food starting at age 11. Instead of speaking up for what I needed, I ate. Instead of acknowledging my own self worth, I ate and strived (strove?) for unrealistic levels of perfection and control.
This weekend, I've read/heard twice that perfectionism is based in fear. I have to explore that idea.
It's still very hard for me to ask for what I need.
I hear you... perfectionism is based in fear... yes, I never thought of it that way, but I agree. There is a fear component to it- the fear of not being accepted, loved as you are. Sometimes I think my body issues are also wrapped into a strong rebellious streak too... if you won't love me fat, then you don't love me. Really, these food issues are so complex that I don't know if the are comprehensible. It does help to see that others are exploring and also wishing for answers to this struggle.
Julia
Julia
This week I want EVERYTHING!!!! I can't eat what I want because I'm just shy of 3 months out. It makes me think hard about what I will do when I'm farther out and able to eat some of this things again. How will I stop myself from eating to soothe the pain? (Emotional or physical) Right now it's physical. My left knee is so painful I can barely get around. I've been taking liquid Vicodin for it but it's not helping. I called the ortho doc. and his appointment desk was on voice mail so all I could do is leave a message. It was (is) frustrating. I've been blessed up til now to have no head hunger problems, but now I understand the pit falls ahead. Mag 
Yes, somehow to me, perfectionism = fear...makes sense to me. I am my own worst enemy, my biggest critic...nothing I do is ever good enough. I over-achieve to prove that I am SO "good enough"...who am I trying to impress? Mother? others? and yes, me, for sure. The fear of not being good enough, not being accepted as I am, fat or not...and what happens IF I succeed? Can I? Will I? Can I handle succeeding?
TODAY:
breakfast: hot chocolate protein drink
snack in the car: banana
lunch: shrimp & salad
snack yogurt
dinner: chicken broth, cheese, rice crackers, yogurt
water water water.....
Nancy B
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