Feelings as Relates to Emotional Eating - Living in the Solution

Good Monday Morning All,

I really enjoyed reading about everyone's feelings and behaviors this weekend and while I think I've said this before, responses are not always needed, as it is more about processing what we are doing and how we are alike through honest dialog, and if through our writing and or reading we find a solution in one another's postings, that will be the only thing needed, hoping that we can facilitate through shared experiences a recognition in what and how we can do things differently.

My weekend was busy, mostly productive and for the better part of the weekend I kept my food choices good. Shopped, prepared and packed for a successful day today, buying fresh produce, fruits and making sure I have plenty of the good stuff that will help me avoid the pitfalls around this office and not stress or emotional eat.

Last night I had to deal with a situation that creates uncomfortable feelings within me, namely requesting that people help lighten my load around the house. I prefaced it with a request for help, stating that I cannot be and do all, that shared responsibilities make it easier on everyone and that I would greatly appreciate any and all help. The background to this and why it engenders uncomfortability is deeply rooted in my past and so I always seem to have to muster courage to ask for anything I need/want, not just fearful of rejection, but of people who say yes and then don't follow through, because I hate having to ask or remind someone of something, I feel then like they really don't want to do it and it makes it harder for me to deal with that aspect and that is a part of what caused my discomfort, however, I went through the feelings, asked for what I needed and while one of the persons did what I feared, which is operated from their past life experiences, as well, as knowing this person the way I do, I believe their stance is also one that they employ to make some people back down and subsequently is their way of manipulating situations to their advantage. However, we did just fine because I was able to stay emotionally balanced and kept it to the ideal of that I was making a request based on my needs, which had nothing to do with the perception of what the other person was initially hearing. Luckily I am dealing with people that are pretty further along developmentally and so when all was said and done I was heard. I did not have to resort to food leading up to the event and that for me was a win/win situation. . .

Today began with a challenge in my commute to work, but I've since calmed down from the stress of that, let the day unfold and I am shored up by knowledge that just for today I do not have to feed my emotions.

Happy Monday, make it a good day!

Laureen

Saturday was a really bad day for me....my close family have all gone out of town for a week, even the neighbors were gone for the day, and I was feeling so alone, so I comforted myself with bad food.....such a horrible choice.   Afterwards I went to the store and purchased lots of fresh vegetables and fruit and Sunday was a much better day.

I know I need to get this under control -- I feel so guilty after I do it.  

It's a new week and I will attempt to keep on track.....started this morning with riding the recumbent bike 25 minutes and 3.3 miles -- felt great!

Thanks for listening,
Pat R.

Laureen, I'm here with you all tho I haven't posted yet to this thread. I've known for many years that I am an "emotional" eater.Any time I have extra stress in my life, anything that I can't control which causes extra anxiety, my oldest friend, food, is who I want to turn to. Tho this old friend is not truly a friend (she is one who fails me in the end always) I continue to give her one last chance. I need to tell her to hit the road; she is not a true friend. I have read every post and like you said even if we "only" read, process, and reflect it serves a purpose for each of us. Have a great day my friend.

Karen, you always have such a wonderful way of articulating MY thoughts along with yours and I agree, just readfing the experiences and thought processes of others helps alot!

Nancy B

I found my past over the weekend.  Its a horrible adventure.  I started eating after an emotional set back.  I kept telling myself that I had the surgery to improve my life, put down the food.  But the emotional set back was being dumped by a guy without explanation.  To me it was as if I hadn't had the surgery and I was a reject.  So I  told myself to keep eating because food is the only thing you have thats makes you feel good.  The capacity is there to eat too much and of the wrong stuff.  So I ate until I puked.  Then went back for more.  By the end of the day I asked myself if my life had improved since surgery.  I made a list of what I had gained. 

1. Wardrobe

2. Ability to go out in public without shame

3. Agility

4. Confidence

 

Then I made a list of what was the same:

1. Solitary Confinement

2. False Confidence

3. Ability to eat everything in the house

4. Still having these conversations with myself

 

So the bottomline is:

Life can only improve for me if I am willing to be knocked down over and over again until it stops or I die.  I have to accept the fact that no matter how much weight I lose I still will not be happy 24/7.  So do I want to wear these clothes or all the ones I got rid of?  I want to wear these, of course.  Just because I can eat the whole house doesn't mean I should.  I'm going to have to gain control over my viewpoint and reactions to cir****tances. 

Nan

 

 

Nan,

Great share with good ideals towards a solution. . .  at least today we can pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and know that it works, if we work it. . .  oh and very importantly that we are worth it, no matter what anyone else thinks, we have to think that way . . .  his loss and you may have gotten lost, but quickly looked towards a different way to deal. . .  kudos!!!

Laureen

I'm proud of you!

Proud of Moi? I don't think I handled everything so well.

Happy Monday to our "Feeling's gang"!

I too had an eventful weekend. Had Bariatric Support group Saturday and there was a lot of newbies. One guy had surgery on Tuesday and was there for support, he looked great and his wife is 6 weeks a head of him...she had surgery first.
It was a great group meeting. I never cry in public but Saturday I shared my feelings of wanting to eat and about not being able to go to my ex MIL funeral/visitation. It really did feel great actually saying that a chapter in my life is closed. I still have to deal with this pain in my heart and I want to eat to comfort myself but I'm staying strong!

So you all know how I hate the scale and know that scale doesn't tell the whole story. I'm doing the weight loss challenge at work for our Wellness program and I was down 2 pounds. It feels good to finally be on track and taking charge of my life. All I can say is thank God for fresh fruit and veggies! LOL I'm eating a small honey crisp apple as I'm typing this. Yummy!

Work has been so stressful lately, you can cut the air with a knife I tell you! They are getting rid of people and no one is safe. Nurses can't even smile. I go out of my way when I'm walking in the hallways to put a smile on my face when it feels like a morgue around here. Heavy hearts everywhere. One of my friends will be leaving at the end of this month....along with 8 women who work down my hallway. It's just quiet around here. Sadness everywhere, a toxic feeling at work and I hate that.

People thanks for letting me vent. I needed to do that! Hugs Debbie