Today's Reflection
Nice guys finish last.
--Leo Durocher
Some of us are habitually victims, doormats, and "poor things." No matter what, we never say no. The more we practice being nice guys the less able we are to cope creatively. We place the blame, along with the responsibility, elsewhere.
Darlene modeled this for all of us at a recent meeting. She is well past fifty and has been divorced for twenty years. Yet she is still seeking sympathy for what her husband - and God -did to her. Twenty-five years ago she inherited fifty thousand dollars from her parents' estate. Bit by bit, as she said, her alcoholic husband spent it all. It wasn't that she gave it to him or failed to manage it herself, she explained. What happened was that he "just spent it all up. How could he do that?" The obvious, healthier question never occurred to her: How could she allow a sick person to eat up a small fortune?
The moral of the story is that being "too nice" isn't our problem.
Today, I will search my conscience for evidence of irresponsibility that I may have been filing under other names.
--Leo Durocher
Some of us are habitually victims, doormats, and "poor things." No matter what, we never say no. The more we practice being nice guys the less able we are to cope creatively. We place the blame, along with the responsibility, elsewhere.
Darlene modeled this for all of us at a recent meeting. She is well past fifty and has been divorced for twenty years. Yet she is still seeking sympathy for what her husband - and God -did to her. Twenty-five years ago she inherited fifty thousand dollars from her parents' estate. Bit by bit, as she said, her alcoholic husband spent it all. It wasn't that she gave it to him or failed to manage it herself, she explained. What happened was that he "just spent it all up. How could he do that?" The obvious, healthier question never occurred to her: How could she allow a sick person to eat up a small fortune?
The moral of the story is that being "too nice" isn't our problem.
Today, I will search my conscience for evidence of irresponsibility that I may have been filing under other names.
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Laureen, excellent post!
It is very "freeing" when we learn to say no, being firm about it and setting boundaries.
Not taking on guilt after saying no...that's the key! We can do it without being *****y. We can live our lives without being taken advantage of.
People...has anyone ever said to you "I liked you better fat?"
Ugh!!!! Well we have more self confidence, more "hoopspa" and we finally set up boundaries and not being taken advantage of. I'm still a nice person but now I'm not a doormat. I have high expectations for me and still today...I'm still learning new things! Thanks Laureen once again for a post I can connect with and apply to my lifestyle. You are appreciated. Hugs Debbie
It is very "freeing" when we learn to say no, being firm about it and setting boundaries.
Not taking on guilt after saying no...that's the key! We can do it without being *****y. We can live our lives without being taken advantage of.
People...has anyone ever said to you "I liked you better fat?"
Ugh!!!! Well we have more self confidence, more "hoopspa" and we finally set up boundaries and not being taken advantage of. I'm still a nice person but now I'm not a doormat. I have high expectations for me and still today...I'm still learning new things! Thanks Laureen once again for a post I can connect with and apply to my lifestyle. You are appreciated. Hugs Debbie
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