Birth Control Stumper

Okay ladies, collectively the women here seem to know just about everything regarding "womanly issues," so here's my question:

I CANNOT take hormonal birth control pills any longer, nor can I use the patch, ring, or Depo-Provera shot or anything else with hormones.  Long story short, the hormones mess with my mood disorder in a very serious way (yes, we've tried MULTIPLE variations on the hormonal methods - ALL were futile).  Then to add insult to injury, turns out I'm "allergic" to nonoxynol-9 in the sense that I get yeast infections from it every single time I use it.  I suspect latex is causing a problem too, but I'm in the process of ruling one out.  Not that it particularly seems to matter, as my husband has now informed me that he REALLY prefers NOT to use condoms (but mind you, this is coming from a man who claims he is not ready to have kids yet, not until I get my mood disorder under control).  He's BEGGING me to find another birth control method.  I'm at a loss...

The way I see it, I may have three options:

1.  Natural Family Planning...with temping, CM monitoring, and charting...the whole bit.
2.  Cervical Cap (without the spermicide...which I KNOW would lower the effectiveness..grrr)
3.  A copper IUD (the one without hormones)...although I have serious doubts my body will like this, primarily based on the fact that my body rejected the Lap-Band...

I just don't know what to do...we want to try ASAP in the sense that once I can get out of this funk and get my meds under control, we'll hopefully be actively trying (so I guesstimate about 4-6 months from now)...but right this second is anything but ideal for us for a multitude of reasons (like we're currently living in a sun room while our new house is under construction - just how I envisioned starting a family - NOT).  Yes, there will never be a perfect time we realize, but there are some serious, legitimate reasons to wait, if only for a few more months...

Do I keep looking for another method? Is there anything out there even?  Do I tell him "condoms or no sex"?  I don't know what to do!  I see the OBGYN on Friday, but I feel like I should have an idea as to what to try by then...

Just looking for feedback, as I'm lost...

Thanks!

~Katherine
 

Katherine,
Sorry you are having so much trouble finding a suitable birth control.   I would try the copper IUD.   Maybe your body didn't like the plastic lap-band, but won't mind the IUD.

I wouldn't try the Natural family planning.   Sometimes your body will do things it typically doesn't do.   I NEVER ovulate before day 17 or 18.    I thought it would be O.K to have unprotected sex on CD 7 or 8.    I'm currently 35 weeks pregnant.   We wanted another baby, but we were planning on TTC in February.  Now we are due in February lol.

Good luck!
Amy

If the natural method works, I would use that. My sister suffers from a mood disorder and this was the best for them in the end- Have you read Taking Charge of Your Fertility? This is the book my DH and I use and have never had an accident- We've only gotten pregnant when we wanted to, so I believe it is effective. It is a bit of work though. Of course the cervical cap is not a bad choice wither, but I never found it very comfy- It's a tough situation! Hope you can find a good solution.

Carrie

I wonder about something.

I cannot do hormonal birth control, either.  Everything I've ever tried has set off my headaches like you wouldn't believe.  But I let my GYN try a Mirena (the paragard was bleeding me dry).  And it didn't do anything because it keeps it's hormones only in the uterus and never hits the bloodstream.

I wonder if *maybe* it would work for you?  I mean, I'm VERY sensitive to hormonal fluctuations.  DAILY headaches on good days.  Had DAILY migraines on BCPs and while pregnant (which is why no #3 in our house).  Maybe..?


Although if you're looking at actively TTC in 4-6 months, a mirena might not be a good idea, anyway.


Nevermind?

Honestly?  I think your husband is being EXTREMELY selfish about the condom thing.

You have serious problems with the other forms of birth control.  HEALTH problems.  And really?  An IUD for four months?  That doesn't sound like a good idea at all.

Sounds like your husband needs to suck it up and deal with condoms for a few months.  Finding a form of birth control isn't YOUR responsibility.  It is something you and your husband have to deal with TOGETHER.  You've made a good faith effort to avoid condoms.  Your "options" are crappy and few.

He needs to suck it up.

(Sorry if this sounds harsh but I'm totally not okay with the whole "it's your uterus: your problem" mentality.  Family planning is a shared responsibility.  You shouldn't have to search the heavens over to cater to your husbands "preference".)

Don't worry, you haven't offended me in the slightest.  I've had very similar thoughts in terms of him just sucking it up.  Personally, I'm about ready to just say NO to all sex for the next few months if he whines about condoms much longer.

SERIOUSLY.  His choice: condoms or nothin'!  You put in a good faith effort and now it's up to him.

I didn't realize that you were going to TTC in 4-6 months.  In that case tell hubby to suck it up.  NO GLOVE, NO LOVE lol.
Amy

I agree that your hubby has responsibility in this too. I think the ultimatum is a little harsh and he probably wouldn't respond well to it. But if you have a serious talk with him and explain the issues to him, I would hope he would understand and be OK for a couple months with a condom.

I wanted to make one more comment about the IUD, if you don't have any kids yet, they most likely wouldn't give you an IUD anyway because it doesn't fit right in people who have not had kids.

I really hope everything works out for you, pleease let us know how it goes.

Tina

Well...if you are planning to start TTC in the next 6 months, your best bet would be to just use condoms.  I was having a problem with latex too.  I found a condom by Lifestyles called "Skynn" that is made out of some other material and it did not bother me at all and they feel pretty good. Their motto is "It's the closest thing to skin".  I think that your hubby is just going to have to compromise here.

Good luck!