Can I ***** for a second?? Long

I need to know, does anyone get along perfectly with their MIL??  Like does anyone LOVE her as much as their own mother.

Mine is royally ******g me off.  Last year was my first mothers day.  Sage was 2 weeks old.  At 1 week 5 days post pardum (from a c-section mind you) I hauled my PP ass to Bj's (going 5 minutes away at that time felt like a cross country adventure with a newborn) to get her the perfect "first g-ma mothers day gift."  I got her a digital picture frame with all pics of her and Sage and Sage with other people.  We got her a card and flowers.  We invited her over for mothers day, she said she was depressed because he mom was no longer alive (she died when she was 89 years old, not that it hurts less but she did live a full long life.)  So instead we went to visit her the next day and gave her her gift.  She never told me happy first mothers day and I didn't get so much as a card.

This year- We invited her yesterday out with us and my family.  She declined yet again.  We called and said happy mothers day.  She never wished me a happy mothers day this year yet again.  The she called Russ this morning and asked if we wanted to go out to dinner for mothers day.  Ok, sounded fine.  Well then she called him back and said "never mind I just want to come over and see Sage."

I have no friggin idea why she is being such an a-hole to me.  Even though there are times she REALLY aggravates me, I never let on.  She is my husbands mother and I respect her but honestly I do not know why she is being rude to me, and NOT wishing me happy mothers day.  and then asking us out, and then instead inviting herself over when I was not expecting company.  I completely understand she misses her mom but that has not a thing to do with me.

Russ is her only child so I feel like she is jealous of me or sometime.  She always has a slight jealous undertone with me. 

She was the one practically begging me to get pregnant after we got married, she was OVER JOYED when we told her we were pregnant.  Then recently she commented some snarky comment like "well I had to get used to the fact you were pregnant"  HELLO you gave me a bottle of "fertility rum" a month prior.  Then last week she said "I thought you and Russ were going to break up when you went off to college and you would find someone else"  Ummmmmm I went to an ALL girls catholic college, unless I suddenly turned into a lesbian I was not "finding someone else"  I am really at a loss here. 

Also I feel like, yet again, I will never get pregnant.  I have had a UTI 3 months in a row now which is NOT common for me.  I have been having lower abdominal pains and I feel like something is wrong.  I am going to the Dr. on Wednesday but I have some nagging feeling like something is wrong.

Anyone have any advice for me, you ladies are always here to listen to my *****ing......
End vent

Karen,

I'm so sorry your MIL is a ******!  If I ever meet the woman who gave birth to my wife I will ****** slap the poopies outta her! LOL.  In laws in general can be brutal - especially MIL's.  Sounds like she's a manipulative emotional doozie!  don't let her get you down.  You're an awesome woman!

LOL you make me crack up!!!  You're right, she is SO manipulative!!!  Thanks, at least I know I am not crazy and she is the nutty one haha!!

I am waiting on you and your wifey's BFP soon :)

My mother in law treated me terrible for years. My husband though has been more angry with her than I have. I have learned in the past year that I need to say what I feel whether it hurts her feelings or not. In the long run its better that way. We stopped speaking to his whole family last year after the shootings out here at Ft Hood. She and his sisters blamed me and said horrible things to me. We finally talked to the pastor and he agreed to meet with us and it was just her and I. Funny even at that time she had no idea it was her own son who wanted nothing to do with her. He set us up with a chaplain on post since my husband is in the army. In the first meeting her face was in shock when she said her and his sisters knew I would do this. Meaning take him away and shut them out. He said NO mother that was me. LOL. I never felt so great. Since then we have kind of talked about how things got here and all. She said she wished she would have known what she was doing wrong. That maybe things could be better had she known what she was doing. So now when I dont like something or my husband does not like something we tell her. Sure it may hurt her feeling for a bit but its better than not speaking to them because it gets so bad. It has been a year and a half and we still dont speak to his sisters. I would say talk to hubby and let him know how you are feeling and see what he thinks. Then maybe invite her over and talk. None of it means you have to be disrespectful or anything just honest. I have tried telling my kids even now if I do something that hurts you or makes you mad...let me know so we can work on it. Dont let it get worse by saying nothing thats just my opinion though lol.

Wow I am glad you guys are working it out now!

She is all about 'honesty' and such when SHE is being honest and communicative.  When I try she acts like my feelings are not valid.  I think I am going to write her a letter or something because hearing her being defensive irritates the crap out of me!

How are those little beautiful girls doing??

They are good. Sunday we are having a party so everyone can come see them. :) I say do whatever it takes to get your feelings out. If not it will cause so many more issues and its not worth it to cause you so much stress.

From all your posts, it sounds like she may have a mental issue. Bi-polar, maybe. She is def in competition with you. My adfvice is, don't let her control any more Mother's Day's .Make your own plans with your husband. You should be no less important to him since you are the mother of his child. Just send her flowers the day before, signed from all 3 of you. She sounds like she craves drama and will make some up if there is none to be found.
I told my husband since next year I will be a mom to his first, I want Mothers day to just be about us. If any of the parents need to be made a fuss over, they can do it the weekend after or before. As long as you call and send a small gift, then these MIL"s should not feel the need to manipulate the whole day.

My husband is an only child as well. So I understand. My mil is nuts. She has lived with us for almost 2 years now.

When I found out I was pregnant in October we told her she would have to move out by June 1st because we need that bedroom for the baby. She has not worked in 4 years and we have to pay for everything.

Well its almost the middle of May. She has not gotten a job, and has not found a place to live. She has no other family to pawn off of, so she is playing the sympathy card saying she will live in her car. My husband is so fed up he said fine. I feel bad, but she is just using us and I need to get over it according to hubby.

Why can't we find sane mother in laws? lol

Wanna trade? :-)

OMG I would kill myself if my MIL lived with us.  I am so sorry for you.  These only child men... it's a good thing DH is on your side

Well I get along great with my MIL and it's because we live in different countries (though I we lived with them for over a year) and speak different languages....my hubby does the translating.....LOL.  But seriously, I can tell she loves me and I have a high amount of respect, love and admiration for her too!  I think it's all in how my husband deals and talks with each of us!  He definately love's and respects us both!
     
On the subject of your MIL, I feel she is definately jealous of you!  She wants the attention to herself and wants her son to herself!  I think you should let your hubby do most of the dealings with her and I agree with the other poster that said that next year on Mother's Day, you should enjoy it with just you and your hubby and child(ren)!  Send her a card and flowers if you want and give her a call and wish her a Happy Mother's Day......but don't involve or include her in your plans for the day!

Also want you to know I hope you find answers on why you keep getting the UTI and I pray nothing more is wrong with you!