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OK, so about 10 days ago I posted because I find myself pregnant with a child that was far from planned. I am 15 months post op and really just feel like I still need to be taking care of me. With that said I have decided to place this baby up for adoption and already have the amazing family picked out and I am completely confident that they will raise this baby to be a healtyh happy adult. They are a same sex couple who have twins that will be 7 next month and really are wanting to expand their family. My daughter is in 6th grade and the one woman has been part of her life since the 2nd grade. She has been an amazing support for my daughter and I truly think of them as my friends. I know that I could give this baby all the love it needs but unfortunatly diapers, clothes and bills cant be paid with love. I just got my associates degree in medical assisting and now am in the BSN program. My reason for my post is to see if anybody else has experienced an open adoption as either a birth mom or the adopting family. I am confident in my decision but I already feel so sad inside.

 Just want to commend you on making this difficult and selfless decision. I'm sure it is heart-wrenching, but it is also such a HUGE act of love for your unborn child, to put your feelings completely aside and focus on his/her best interests. I have friends (who also happen to be a same sex couple) who have had 2 successful open adoptions, one of a little girl about 3 yrs ago and more recently, twin boys. I know that the children are very happy and well-adjusted and so far, everything is going great between the birth parents and the adoptive ones. Best of luck! 

My parents adopted a little girl who is a year younger than my son (she's now 15); they got her when she was two months old.  The adoption was supposed to be an open adoption, but the birth mother chose not to continue the 'open' part and has pretty much backed out of being involved in the girl's life.  From what I was told of the situation (the adoption occurred after I had transferred across country), it is most likely b/c the birth mother was a 15 year old girl who wasn't ready to be a mom...and she just moved on with her life.  I'm not saying that'll be the case with you...this baby will always have a huge chunk of your heart, no matter where s/he is .

I am sure this has to be the hardest decision you've ever made...and I hope you find the support you need to get you through it.  I know you'll be making the couple whom you've selected to raise your baby exceedingly happy, and I pray that can bring some comfort to you.

Best wishes. 

Just want to say I'm sorry you're hurting.  Sometimes the right decisions are by far the hardest.  I think you are very brave and selfless and wish you peace!

Linda

First let me say that what you've decided isn't easy and you really should know you're doing a very self less thing!

I was adopted by my birthmother's sister who couldn't have kids. So granted I am adopted it is an open adoption because I still see my birthmother(who I now call Aunt Pat). Some people think the whole situation is awkward, but I'm happy knowing where I came from. Be sure that open adoption is what all parties involved wants and what is in the best interest of the child! 

It is totally normal to be sad. I would adopt in a heartbeat, but to be on the other end would be very hard. Just know what you're doing is SO great. Hope you find peace in your decision! Good luck to you!

I have tried open adoption once and it failed big time.  I am waiting for the birth of my child that I will be adopting.  If the expectations are clear and confirmed before hand that there should be no issues.  Define how much contact you as the birth mother want.  Do you want monthly pictures/updates, to be included in special celebrations, notified of medical appointments/issues and for your case, what type of sibling contact will you be looking for towards your other children. 

I commend you for choosing to do adoption.  That is a huge step and a very selfless act. If you decide that you want to keep your child, then that is ok too.  You have to be sound in whatever choice you make.  There's nothing like having a life time of longing and hurt feelings.  I don't know how you feel about it but, maybe you can start a hand written journal to express your thoughts and feelings toward yourself and your baby.  It may help to even think of this baby as theirs if you have made up your mind to relinquish the child to the couple that you spoke about.  Best wishes to you!