Gender disappointment.

Ellen H.
on 6/11/11 12:06 pm - Metro Detroit, MI
 congratulations on your pregnancy!  I think your reply was very well put.  My first is a boy and I wanted a princess too.  I of course wouldn't trade him for anything and you won't either.  

 Ellen - momma to Patrick (8) and baby girl Amber born June 14th!!


 
 

trustno1
on 6/11/11 12:13 pm - Montreal, Canada
VSG on 01/30/09 with
Thank you, on all counts.  It's still hard to imagine but I know once I meet him I won't care anymore.  In the meantime though he's not really "real" to me yet and that doesn't help.  I just HATE seeing so many judgemental posts (on other boards too) about normal human emotions.  I think so many people who don't "get" it don't realize it has nothing to do with the child, but mourning the loss of a dream.

I DID Make It - 135.4 8-1-10!  Now working on post baby weight loss. (All WL post-op - preop got up to 220 from quitting smoking & last supper syndrome.)  5'2"
jmelrod829
on 6/11/11 11:33 am - Pottsville, PA
 This is turning VERY nasty VERY quickly.  Pregnancy hormones need to step away from the computer before this goes ANY further!!!!

  
 

plusizedbarbie
on 6/11/11 11:34 am - Manahawkin, NJ
yea it's pretty sad. 
MY WLS RECIPE BLOG!  -- Check it out http://plusizedbarbie.blogspot.com/

Lilypie - (vbmr)    Lilypie - (fb9N)
                       
Changed for good
                            ...september 17, 2007...
       
Ellen H.
on 6/11/11 11:55 am - Metro Detroit, MI
Gender disappointment is a real thing and people that don't understand it must be better people than I am.  I wanted a girl more than anything had a son then didn't have another baby for 8 years and worried on and off that whole time (since I knew we were going to have another) that it would be another boy and I would never have a chance to have a daughter.  

I think you know that you will love whatever baby god gives you boy or girl, healthy or special needs.  So you started an innocent discussion and got your head bit off.  Why does that chick even continue to post here?  It doesn't appear that she is trying to make any friends.  

Congratulations btw!!

 Ellen - momma to Patrick (8) and baby girl Amber born June 14th!!


 
 

Modest Vixen
on 6/11/11 12:03 pm - Surprise, AZ
Wow, well this thread sure turned into an interesting post didn't it?

I "get" where there are other women on the board that would do anything for a baby of any gender, and are having such a rough go of it. I can see why they may want to make a face at you for thinking that way but the truth is, it is natural. During pregnancy, we all get that "feeling" and sometimes that feeling is dead wrong. Women will beat themselves up that they weren't bonded enough to have known...Which is totally silly because we can't be right all the time, no matter how much we may think we're infalliable.  So while some women might not like reading that, I get it and its normal.

With my first, I wanted a girl so so bad. Why? Because my husband at the time INSISTED on having a Junior and I REALLY didn't want to use his name. Stupid reason, but it was mine. I was upset for a few minutes. I mourned when my friends were shopping for dresses and I was faced with blues and greens...Then I got over it. It's NORMAL. Now, if you find yourself looking up adoption agencies (which the way some have reacted they must think thats what you implied...) due to the gender, then we need to talk...

~*Crystal*~

HW-327/SW-313/CW-271/Doc's Goal:150 ......Awaiting Revision to DS     
Post RNY baby born 6 weeks early, Jaelyn Mary Christine May 9th, 2011    

 

Modest Vixen
on 6/11/11 12:08 pm - Surprise, AZ
And for the record, me calling that normal comes from me as the mother of a special needs child and one born with serious health issues...And I don't blame you one bit for this being a thought to cross your mind!

~*Crystal*~

HW-327/SW-313/CW-271/Doc's Goal:150 ......Awaiting Revision to DS     
Post RNY baby born 6 weeks early, Jaelyn Mary Christine May 9th, 2011    

 

USAF Wife
on 6/11/11 11:26 pm
I am struggling with what my high risk ob calls "gender mourning". It's very similar to those mother's who experience horrific birthing experiences after they had it all planned out, and written out to a "T" and then her body or the baby needed something different. Those mothers feel robbed of their perfect birthing experience even though herself and the baby are 100% healthy, and did not suffer any physical issues from an emergency c-section, or had to give birth in a hospital vs. a home birth. They still feel robbed, or mourn the fact they did not get their birthing experience they had dreamed of, and planned.

I am beyond elated with my pregnancy, very joyful that Sprout is healthy, and thriving, and that my body isn't suffering through the pregnancy. Even though the gender determination was only 70/30, I am devastated with that 20% more chance of a specific gender.

This needs to be my last pregnancy due to other medical conditions, my age, and the fact that I just do not want to be pregnant again. I'm also struggling with pregnancy weight gain, and body changes. I have received so much judgement and finger wagging because I should be overjoyed that we conceived, and should not worry about weight regain, or be upset about my body changing exponentially with pregnancy. However, I am 100% allowed to have these feelings, and I'm happy that I've recognized all of this early out instead of having to deal with it after the baby arrives without any prep time.

Gender mourning is a very real, and expected situation many mothers find themselves living. My ob suggested the only thing that will help is time, and acknowledgment that the baby is healthy and thriving. BUT, it's not going to immediately change the way I feel. I'm going for another u/s on 15 June, and then will be having a 3d u/s just for ****s and giggles in the next 2 weeks. I need confirmation and need to know 100% the angle of Sprout's dangle before I get my panties in a wad. But, the mere thought of having the opposite gender of what I really want is devastating to me.
Band to VSG revision: June 3, 2009
SW 270lbs GW 150lbs CW Losing Pregancy Weight Maintenance goal W 125-130lbs


hockeybabe2u
on 6/12/11 7:14 am - Allegan, MI
I just have to say that I'm not surprised that Chelle deactivated her account.  The last time she placed judgement on another and couldn't take the heat from the drama she herself created, had the thread deleted!  I find it funny that she can dish out the heat but can't handle it when it gets dished back to her in return!  How someone can be so judgemental is beyond me!  We are all different people with different experiences and different beliefs, but that gives NONE of us a reason to judge another person!  How sad she had to take the measures she did from the actions she herself created.  She had some great post and words of encouragement to some!  It's just sad she couldn't keep her opionions to herself on certain issues and just let it be.  Instead she caused drama and now deactivated her account.

Shaking my head and walking away......

 Lilypie - (XOJP)Lilypie - (5Vrv)Lilypie - (DpEi)Lilypie - (qPOc)



 

(deactivated member)
on 6/12/11 7:15 am
I was upset, no it was moreso shocked that I was pregnant with a boy instead of the girl that I wanted. It lasted less than the time it took for her to print my u/s photos. I love my wonderful son and I am happy that I was given my little prince first although I would still like more children including girls. At this point, honestly TTC for over 4 years with my husband, I just would love to be blessed with a pregnancy....
Most Active
Recent Topics
Post Preganancy Weight Gain
nko_88 · 3 replies · 1278 views
Procare prenatal vitamins?
liz52408 · 2 replies · 876 views
Glucose test
marianacc · 9 replies · 1346 views
×