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a-jsmommy’s Posts

a-jsmommy
on 6/23/11 3:32 am
Topic: RE: discouraged
so, the nurse emailed me yesterday to ask me if i could come this thursday.  hahahaha.  i said, no, i told you in my email i would be out of town and wouldn't be able to come until the 14th if i couldn't get in last week.  then she said she was on vacation last week and thought me email came this monday.  whatever. 
i have an appt on the 14th.  she also emailed me a realize questionnaire to fill out - i.e.- what foods do you eat, how long does it take, when are you hungry & how often do you vomit.....   really?   how often do you vomit?  if i were getting sick, that would mean i have good restriction.  again, whatever.
as far as the fills, mine are included for like 9 months after surg, i think.  it's at least 6 months, anyway.  i do believe they fill slowly because he did say when they are quicker to fill with a larger amount, he's had patients sick more often than not.  i would be sick as well if i were eating crappy food.  i took my girls to mcd's the other day & stole one chicken nugget.  yep, it wasn't pretty.  same for bread.   which is fine.  good, as a matter of fact.  i don't need to eat that crap.  but i also don't think i should be able to eat  a salad that could feed a family of four, either...
i'm not giving up yet, and i'm definitely on the nurse's sh*t list, as she is on mine, so we'll see what happens on the 14th.  until then, thanks again all for your support!
a-jsmommy
on 6/20/11 9:15 pm
Topic: RE: discouraged
thanks so much to all of you for your support!  tom, yes, i do need to talk to the dr, unfortunately, he only sees patients on thursdays, and, they apparently didn't care about seeing me last thursday (knowing that i would be out of town and unable to come in for a month - because i told his nurse that in my email to her), so, it's unfortunately going to have to wait until july 14th...i will be demanding an appt that day.  also, any bariatric surgeon is a minimum of 2 hrs from me.  i picked this dr because of my mother-in-law's experience with him, and she's a nurse!   oy....  also, i understand what you're saying about only the dr knowing what i'm doing wrong...however...what i know that i am doing wrong is that i am able too eat too much.  and that is what i hoped/thought/expected the band would help me with.  if i could push myself away from the table sooner i wouldn't be at the weight i was.  my six month diet forced me to become active and exercise.  it also forced me to make better choices.  which i still do both of today.  but if you could've seen the salad and 6 oz chicken breast i consumed this evening, you wouldn't believe me if i told you that i had wls.   and, i ate 75% of the chicken first.  i don't know how you would actually measure the romaine, but if i had to guess, there was at least 4 cups of it.  and it was rather leafy, even though i did cut it down.  shouldn't something like that get stuck?  i mean, i'm not wanting it to get stuck, but i'm not chewing it to a pulp either....    anyway, this is what i'm dealing with.  i'm not eating 3/4 of a pizza anymore, which is definitely a good thing, but, in addition to my super-sized salad today, i've also had eggs, strawberries, apples, carrots, celery, almonds, tomatoes, red & green peppers, a hamburger patty with swiss & mushrooms, and chips & salsa.  now i know the chips are not a good choice.  but the fresh salsa was so dang good!  lol..  now, why can i eat all of this?  i have talked to the nurse.  i have talked to the dietitian.  the only thing the dr seems to be looking at is the scale.  and after my first 2cc fill and gaining 2 pounds in two weeks, he gave me 5cc more.  now, i've not gained weight since, i've actually lost about 7 in three weeks.  but as you can see, i can eat.  and that is my problem.....  sigh.....
a-jsmommy
on 6/18/11 10:48 am
Topic: RE: discouraged
thanks, ladies!

cmagouirk:

my first appt for a fill was at 3 mos out - and at my 10 day they said, of course, if you need something sooner, just call.  well, i had to go through an interrogation just to get in there on 05/12...and then couldn't talk him into more than 2cc.  a few days later i was calling, begging for another fill, and couldn't get in until 5/26, but he gave me an additional 5cc.  probably to shut me up!  he is an excellent surgeon, and teaches bariatric procedures at the univ of virginia.  he's been doing this for over 10 years (my mil had her rny with him in '01).  i trust him, and understand that they err on the side of caution, and, since i am 2 hours away, don't want me to end up sick with no help.  i also believe i am the exception to the norm...and trying to convince them of this has been/is difficult.

this is exactly how i feel.. 4 oz of food is not satisfying my hunger & i am so hungry after a while, i break down and overeat or pick the wrong foods that fill me.  and then i'm just more upset with myself.

fortunately, i began exercising last august, when i started my six month diet.  i started with walking, and when the weather turned cold, i headed inside to the gym.  i was doing an hour a day 3-4 days a week on the elliptical.  i started walking again at 4 weeks out, though not very regularly.  the dr told me 8 weeks before going back to the gym.  well, with the kids out of school (4 & 9) i can't get to the gym with them anyway, but i do have an elliptical in the basement.  i finally had a talk with myself in the mirror the other day and i hit the elliptical again thursday.  it felt so good.  yesterday i was in the dumps, so, no elliptical, but i did get on again today.  i know i need to exercise.  as you also said..  from working out, you have built up your stamina and muscles and are healthier than those that have had an "easier" time.  i agree with that 100%.  good for you!

i need to be more honest with myself.  i know i need exercise, and i know how i'm supposed to eat.  i'm not giving up.  this has to work.  i have no other option.  even though my loss is slow, and i still need more fills, i know that i am less today than i was 2 months ago, and i also know i will keep going down.

thank you so much for your support....i really appreciate it.


kim h:

i am very good about my fluids, and make good food choices most of the time.  getting back on the elliptical is going to help me, and so will another fill, lol!  i'm optimistic.

i too, soon will be traveling for almost 3 weeks, living in hotels...

however, the hotels provide breakfast, and i need to be accountable for my choices.  there are plenty of healthy offerings.  being on vacation will not be my excuse for making bad choices.  same thing with the restaurants i will visit.  i need to stick to my guns and use the fact that someone else is going to cook something healthy FOR me! 

how do your husband & in-laws eat?  i'm glad that you are positive about it being easier since you will be mostly at their home.  i know for me, being in someone else's home is harder, especially if they are not all geared towards a healthy lifestyle. 

anyway..thanks again so much for your support.  i truly appreciate it.


 
a-jsmommy
on 6/17/11 9:00 pm
Topic: RE: discouraged
hi all!  i've been a lurker for a while, reading and reading...finding all different kinds of stories...before i was banded, i rarely read anything negative, and when i did, i just figured that person didn't have a proper fill or that they weren't doing something right.  i read many more success stories than failure stories, but i guess i didn't pay attention to the actual amount of time that it took for them to be successful.  anyway...i keep plodding on, trying to stay positive....but it's finally broken me.  and i'm beyond discouraged.

i was banded 4/11.  first 10 days was great.  no hunger, limited eating.  after that, my appetite came back with a vengence.  after begging for a fill sooner than my 3 month post op appt, i finally got 2cc in my 10cc band.  i asked for more.  the dr explained his reasoning for a small fill.  ok.  i trust him, right?!?!?!  2 weeks later, 5/26, i'm back again.  i had gained 2 lbs.  he gave me 5cc (supposedly).  so now i'm at 7.  i can eat almost anything.  and i do.  i make healthy choices 90% of the time.  i start off with the portion i think i'm supposed to eat (3-4 oz chicken, 1/2 cup veggies).  i end up going back for a second portion the same size as the first.  so yeah, i'm eating less than i was pre-band, but i'm eating more than i should.  so i emailed the nurse this past monday asking for another fill.  no response.  i don't know if they don't believe me, or what, but i'm not losing.  and now i will be out of town and not be able to get another fill until 7/14.

i would think 7 in a 10cc band would be good.  i feel "dropped" by my surgeon's office (which is 2 hours away, or i would just show up there!).  i know that the band isn't going to do the work for me, but i had surgery because i need help with the part i can't do on my own.   limiting portions - feeling full from 3-4oz of meat & 1/2 cup veggies.  i know it's not a race, but i've been working towards this since august of last year, when i started my 6 month diet, during which time i lost 19 lbs.  now, since surgery 2 months ago, i've lost 16 more lbs, but 7 of that was in the first few days, so i'd say i've lost 1 lb a week.  i know the average is 1-2 lbs a week, i just didn't expect it to be so hard.   it seems that the more i try to control my mind against food, the more food i'm eating.  forgive me for rambling.  i don't know what advice i'm looking for.  i guess i just want to know if anyone else had a similar experience, and whether or not i'm crazy.