Anyone else's fiance not want them to have surgery

mercedes66693
on 2/17/13 6:06 am

So I have had the band 7 months now been throwing up and found out it has slipped and i haven't lost any weight with it and I hate the thing.  So I'm waiting to here from my ins. co to see if they will cover a revision.   I have my heart and soul set on doing this for myself I want to be healthy and happy about myself.  My fiance doesn't want me to go through with the surgery he thinks it's to risky and I am fine the way I am 5'4" 220 lbs I was 235 before the band lost 15 lbs on the pre op diet and haven't lost any more.  I'm so unhappy with myself and I so want this I told him today I am doing this for me and not for him or anyone else but I feel bad.  I know he's worried that something bad will happen to me and I don't want to hurt him but I need to do this for me.

 

Anyone else out there with a problem like this?

 

 

 

Hislady
on 2/17/13 7:08 am - Vancouver, WA

I haven't had that exact issue because I've been married 26 years, but I do know you have to do what is right for you. If he truly loves you he will support your decision, especially if you can show him some happy revisioners on the sleeve forum. The basic surgery has been around since the 1940s for cancer and ulcers, then they discovered it caused weight loss and has been done for quite some time now for that. I have a relative who had it done for cancer over 20 years ago and he's a healthy, happy 70 year old.

The surgery is pretty safe as surgery goes, the tool used to cut the stomach is designed to seal the cut stomach with 3 rows of tiny staples on each side of the incision and the cut itself is sealed to reduce blood loss. It doesn't take very long usually, maybe a while longer because you have a band to take out but your band hasn't been in long so hopefully little damage has been done. Actually keeping the band is far more dangerous.

The band often erodes into the stomach or slips and can cause serious permanent damage. Also the band was never designed to be left in long term, 5-10 yrs at most. Altho very few are able to keep it in that long. With the sleeve there are no fills and unfills it is done and over with with no further surgeries needed when all goes well and there are no leaks., The chances of leaks with the sleeve are very small, that is why they have you go thru the series of foods in the beginning from liquids to mushies and finally solid food.

I know you will be happier with the sleeve and I hope he will come around, maybe show him the sleeve forum here and let him read some happy sleevers. In the end tho YOU have to make the final decision and live with it. It will make you happier and healthier with is to his advantage! Good luck!

thinlizzie12
on 2/17/13 9:47 am - KS
DS on 01/24/13

I feel for you hon. You need to do it for yourself. My hubby wasn't all that into me being banded......6 years later and 20 lbs lighter I am the one *****grets it...I am now revised with the DS. 5'3, 240lbs. So pretty close to your numbers......I had surgery on 1/24/13 and I now stand at 212.8 lbs. I never saw this number with the band. And my plan is to keep going. My hubby just wanted me to be ok.....he didn't want me vomiting anymore.....he wanted me happy. I knew I couldn't just have the band out and give up. He knows better than to tell me no...lol.....and we laugh about it. I love him with all my heart and he loves me.....he back me up as I do him in everything he does. You need to talk to your best friend (fiancee) and have a heart to heart. 

    

        

    
aphillips631
on 2/17/13 11:17 am
DS on 06/10/13
Make sure he realizes you will have to have surgery anyways to remove the slipped band. Also there are many more health risks of being obese than those of surgery. Good luck with your revision and getting your fiance to support your decision!
mercedes66693
on 2/17/13 9:46 pm

Thank you all for the words of encouragement and advice for my Fiance.

I know he is just scared that something bad with happen to me and I told him this is a positive thing for me and for us so he's coming around he doesn't like it but he will be there for me. 

Hoping for approval soon form my insurance for revision can't wait to start the pre op diet again LOL  it will all be worth it in the long run. 

You are all great people here thank you again for all your support

 

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