How do I explain this?

 OK, I get a message on FB from my sister's friend.....saying that my sis told her of my upcoming surgery.......and asked WHY I was choosing RNY over Lap-Band.  This person had RNY a few yrs ago and has since gained quite a bit back so I was surprised why my sis said this friend of hers had it.  

Anyway, the message talks about how she wishes she would have gotten the band..... She talked about her stomach pain whenever she uses the bathroom and how her digestive system has never been the same....and that she was not one of the people that got the dumping so she is able to eat more of the things she should stay away from. She wishes she would have gotten the band because she'd be able to go in for a "quick adjustments".  She said she doesn't feel like the RNY is a "TOOL" like the Lap-Band would have been.

OK, this person is VERY nice.....and I want my reply to be respectful....  and I don't just want to give her the "this is a decision based on my surgeon and I" answer. 

HELP?  

I would just say you and your surgeon have determined that RNY would be the best tool for you.

My suggestion would be to tell her that you appreciate her sharing that information with you. However, you have researched this and your choice will be to have the RNY. Then I would leave it at that. This is definitely different for different people. If she chose to have surgery but turn around and eat the wrong things and not exercise then she should admit it instead of trying to discourage you.

I'd just say something like "Thank you for your insight." and leave it at that. I bet you don't hear anything more from her. 

I would probably say "Thank you so much for sharing this, I'll definately keep it in mind when I talk with my surgeon next"

fluff..... doesn't mean anything, but might make her feel good. Anyone who has an unsuccessful WLS often feels taht that surgery is bad for EVERYONE even when reality does not support this conclusion.

I'd probably point out that since she didn't have the lap band, she doesn't actually know that
she would have been any more succesful with that, but then I'm not always a nice person.

Thank her for sharing and let it go.

Caroline

I would probably say something to the effect of... Thanks for taking the time to share this information with me. In life it seems like it's always easier to see the greener grass on the other side of the fence. But, after speaking with my doctor and learning all I can about the RNY and the lap band, I really think and my doctor agrees that the RNY is the right choice for me.

Usually people who make statements like these are people who have ZERO actual information about the procedure they are referring to... I have gotten quite a few band supporters off my back by giving them actual true information about the band's success rates and re-operation rates. There was no way in heck I was going to go through all of this to have to go back in for "tiny adjustments" every 3 months forever. Also, I didn't do all this so that I could turn around and have to have another operation later to fix a flipped port or a slipped band. Of course, I know with the RNY I might have to get my gall bladder out or whatever other complication that might arise... But I made the choice that is right for me, which is what you have done as well.

Huggles!!
~Sarah~