i think i binged and the guilt is destroying me

The "binge" is not the issue..the issue is your mom and your reactions/feelings to her.
This is your journey. You need to believe..really believe that you can be successful at this. You also  need to be able to set some boundaries with her destructive voice/talk.
Good luck,
Deb T>

Destructive talk and also offering you cake over and over..there is some big issues there.

I agree, Deb!!

Laura

Youre choices are fine.  In a 3 hours time frame  if you were sitting around and "snacking" it's possible to eat what you ate.  I wouldn't make it a habit of eating that amount in 1 meal or a meal and a snack this early out.   

As others have said, get up, dust yourself off and move on from here (the only thing that made me go "wow" was the burger~ I still have trouble with a whole burger).  You will mess up from time to time, but hopefully not very often.  I think I eat "perfectly" 90% of the time.  Then I give myself permission not to the other 10% of the time (I did wait until I was much further out to do this, though).

What's different for me now, is that pre-op, if I screwed up, I would just think fu*% this.  I'm a failure, I can't do this, I don't deserve to be thin anyway, I'm just going to eat myself into oblivion.  I don't do that anymore. I'm much kinder to myself which is a huge lesson to learn.  You need to learn that lesson, too!!

Laura

the box for the burgers says they are 4oz but i chose the smallest there was so it definitely could have been worse but it also could have been better

4 halves of deviled eggs is equal to two hard boiled eggs and is 14 grams of protein which is good. The burger without the bun is also good protein but you need to weigh it to see how many ounces it is. The cheese and crackers was a splurge but you need to allow yourself to do that occasionally as this is a lifestyle change and you won't be 100% compliant every single day. The shrimp with no butter is also good protein. I don't see anything to feel guilty about. The only thing I will say again is to weigh and measure, at least while you're eating at home. When you're at other people's bbq's or at a restaurant you'll have to "eyeball" the portion. I know that my nose starts to run when I am full so that's my cue to stop eating no matter if I've finished my portion or not as some things are more dense and fill you quicker.

my nose runs when i am full too, so weird.  the burger was 4oz and i probably left an ounce or close to half an ounce.

thank you everyone for the kind replies. i had not known what grazing was until this as i am not much of a "snacker" and when i do snack i try to eat something like some nuts, etc for protein.

i wanted to say that my mother has been very supportive. she was mentioning it to me because when i started my journey i asked her to let me know if she notices any habits reforming. i just was not prepared to hear something so soon post op, and it worried me immensely. 

also, i meant that there were 2 opportunities for cake in the day. no one was trying to coerce me. it just kept popping up where ever i went! but i did win against the sugar rush and that is a victory.

looking back with a fresh outlook, i could have ate only 2 cheese and crackers. i failed to notice the protein rich foods i took in. 

thanks for the support. it is why i am glad to be a part of this place. you are all a second family to me. have a wonderful holiday.

Binge eating is a head issue we know surgery can't fix.  Neither can wls mend our reactions to the comments of others.  Only you know if this was a binge episde or if you really binge at all.  Perhaps you are reacting to criticism as conditioned. 

When it comes to food I had to learn to say myob to everyone with a comment.  On my own behalf and on behalf of my child when it came up.  It can be confrontational to ask someone why they believe it is anything less than inappropriate to intrude on your personal issues.  You are allowed to protect yourself.  

Obsessing over a binge; or what someone has portrayed to you as a binge; or simply a day of overindulgence will only bring you down.  We all have days/ occaisions where we eat more than usual.  As long as its the exception and not the rule.  A little cutting back plus a little extra exercise will counter act the grazing.  Just go back to your plan and to hell with the comments of others.