:'( Silent Treatment from my Sister

I don't know if it's the holidays or what but my sister has been giving me the silent treatment for about a month now. I don't know what the problem is but she will talk with me when I call her but with not too much enthusiasm. She has not called me in quite some time. We live about 1900 miles apart.

She lives alone now and I know she loves her space so I'm giving her, her space. It's just that of all the times to be out of sorts you would think that at Christmas time we would be close in spirit not this far apart.

I know I can't solve all of my sister's problems and I realize she needs to deal with them in her own way.

I have been very depressed about this and I can see that my eating choices have been in the toilet this weekend.

I realize that emotional eating was a real contributor to my obesity and I don't want to start this cycle all over again.

I also feel guilty when I am happy. I have a plaque that has a quote from Lincoln, "A person is just about as happy as they make their minds up to be." Why can't I let myself be happy?

Why don't you spend some time exploring the question of why you don't let yourself be happy?  Do you think you don't deserve it?  Are you afraid of giving up your depression?  Does unhappiness feel comfortable to you?  Are you afraid to give up the emotional overeating?

I think identifying that you feel guilty when you are happy is a great first step.  Just follow that thread.

If you have always been "the fat sister" she probably feels threatened that if you lose that title it will go to her.  But  this not your issue its hers.  My sister would always go on a diet when I would lose weight.  She has lost about 50 lbs. since I had my surgery. 

I agree with Kelly.  You need to figure out why you are not happy.  Don't let your sister's issue sabatoze your success.  The surgery is a tool.  You can slow down your progress and gain weight back.  You went through a long process to get here.  Use it.

I suggest counseling.  Does your bariatric surgeon's office have a psychologist on staff.  That would be your first step.

 Not sure if this would be useful to you, but here's a book I highly recommend: "Escaping Toxic Guilt" by Susan Carroll. It's got alot to say about boundaries and not taking on other's issues/emotions/etc. 

 I had a difficult sister (older) who was jealous of most people, even her friends.  I finally realized that she had a terrible inferiority complex.  Your sister's attitude may have less to do about you than herself.  Try not to talk about your weight loss and maybe you can make some headway.  You should talk to a professional if you can.