Question for Post Ops with kids
Ok so I'm wondering how many of you who have little kids told them about the surgery? Me and my husband are debating full disclosure vs basic "mommys having surgery" I think that's too complicated for them to understand (5 & 9). Also not to be on the morbid side, but with any surgery comes a risk, who all wrote letters " just in case"?
We did not tell our then 5 year olds anything about the surgery. I also did not write them letters, didn't think of it or I might have. I did go through every single thing that I could think of with my husband who knows where nothing is or what any of the bills etc. are. I may tell the kids when they are much older, but for now I do not feel there is a need. Then again, four people know about my surgery, so I might be the odd one out!
True, all surgeries carry a risk, whether general anesthesia or not........I have had 10 kids and even regular childbirth carried a risk. I think the option to write a letter "just in case" would be a personal choice between you and you family especially your husband, more so if your docs have told you that you are a higher than normal risk for death.
I know that all surgery is scary, even childbirth and in my flock of 10 kids, I do have a 5 and 9 year old now and at the time I had RNY also in 2008, actually my youngest was 1......My DH and I told the kids full disclosure and personally I am a Christian so we prayed and annointed me with blessed oil and I always go on the operating table by faith in Jesus Christ
I have had 3 c-sections, VBACS, gallbladder removed, RNY, abdomnioplasty, and most recently last week a breast reduction all with general anesthesia and my kids were full aware each time...You will be surprised how much kids know at a young age these days and can comprehend.
Yes, I was afraid with nerves and the "what if" each time
but here I am today encouraging you and all is well again and better. You will be fine.
.......Lean on OH and me for support and no question is too lame to ask
I know that all surgery is scary, even childbirth and in my flock of 10 kids, I do have a 5 and 9 year old now and at the time I had RNY also in 2008, actually my youngest was 1......My DH and I told the kids full disclosure and personally I am a Christian so we prayed and annointed me with blessed oil and I always go on the operating table by faith in Jesus Christ
I have had 3 c-sections, VBACS, gallbladder removed, RNY, abdomnioplasty, and most recently last week a breast reduction all with general anesthesia and my kids were full aware each time...You will be surprised how much kids know at a young age these days and can comprehend.
Yes, I was afraid with nerves and the "what if" each time
but here I am today encouraging you and all is well again and better. You will be fine........Lean on OH and me for support and no question is too lame to ask 
HW/293....SW/276....PSW/168....CW/148...GW/150
I did not write letters, but did make sure my will and living will and all that stuff was in order.
I would tell the kids you're having surgery. I would make it really simple, like "Mommy is going to have an operation on her tummy to make her healthier." I think the idea of WLS would be hard for young kids to understand. Geez, even many adults don't get it. They think it's an easy way to get thin or it's something only lazy people do or it's unnecessary or whatever.
I would answer any questions they ask, very simply, just providing whatever info they ask for. If they want to know what's wrong with your tummy that you need an operation, you could just say something like the operation will help your tummy work better, which is true. You can explain that you'll be on a special diet for a while after the operation and that your tummy will be sore for a little while.
If they ask if the operation will hurt, say it will hurt a little bit but the doctor will you give medicine so it doesn't hurt too much. If they ask if you could die during the surgery, don't promise them you will be OK because there is always that little tiny chance that something could go wrong. Just tell them that you have a really good doctor and there will be other doctors and nurses there to take care of you. Tell them they do this kind of operation all the time and they are very good at it.
Let them know you will talk to them on the phone in the evening after your surgery, or that they will get to visit you the next day, or whatever.
And then I would talk about some of the fun things you will be able to do with them after you are healthier.
I would tell the kids you're having surgery. I would make it really simple, like "Mommy is going to have an operation on her tummy to make her healthier." I think the idea of WLS would be hard for young kids to understand. Geez, even many adults don't get it. They think it's an easy way to get thin or it's something only lazy people do or it's unnecessary or whatever.
I would answer any questions they ask, very simply, just providing whatever info they ask for. If they want to know what's wrong with your tummy that you need an operation, you could just say something like the operation will help your tummy work better, which is true. You can explain that you'll be on a special diet for a while after the operation and that your tummy will be sore for a little while.
If they ask if the operation will hurt, say it will hurt a little bit but the doctor will you give medicine so it doesn't hurt too much. If they ask if you could die during the surgery, don't promise them you will be OK because there is always that little tiny chance that something could go wrong. Just tell them that you have a really good doctor and there will be other doctors and nurses there to take care of you. Tell them they do this kind of operation all the time and they are very good at it.
Let them know you will talk to them on the phone in the evening after your surgery, or that they will get to visit you the next day, or whatever.
And then I would talk about some of the fun things you will be able to do with them after you are healthier.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
On May 14, 2012 at 5:29 PM Pacific Time, poet_kelly wrote:
I did not write letters, but did make sure my will and living will and all that stuff was in order.I would tell the kids you're having surgery. I would make it really simple, like "Mommy is going to have an operation on her tummy to make her healthier." I think the idea of WLS would be hard for young kids to understand. Geez, even many adults don't get it. They think it's an easy way to get thin or it's something only lazy people do or it's unnecessary or whatever.
I would answer any questions they ask, very simply, just providing whatever info they ask for. If they want to know what's wrong with your tummy that you need an operation, you could just say something like the operation will help your tummy work better, which is true. You can explain that you'll be on a special diet for a while after the operation and that your tummy will be sore for a little while.
If they ask if the operation will hurt, say it will hurt a little bit but the doctor will you give medicine so it doesn't hurt too much. If they ask if you could die during the surgery, don't promise them you will be OK because there is always that little tiny chance that something could go wrong. Just tell them that you have a really good doctor and there will be other doctors and nurses there to take care of you. Tell them they do this kind of operation all the time and they are very good at it.
Let them know you will talk to them on the phone in the evening after your surgery, or that they will get to visit you the next day, or whatever.
And then I would talk about some of the fun things you will be able to do with them after you are healthier.
That was and has always been my exact conversation with my kids with each surgery......along with dropping things on purpose for them to pick up and haaving my handy "whistle"
HW/293....SW/276....PSW/168....CW/148...GW/150
You know what they say, great minds think alike.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
At the time of my surgery, my boys were 6, 4 and 1. We told them that Mommy was going into surgery which seemed usual in our household (especially to the oldest)because I had a c-section with the baby and also emergency gallbladder surgery 4 months prior. When asked about the surgery I told them it's so Mommy can become healthy and keep up with the 3 of them!!
I did not write letters, because I was not going to die. Plain and simple. I didn't put it out there as a possibility, and I did not prepare for something that was not going to happen.
(realistically, yes, okay, it could happen. But I did not want to even put the thought out in the universe.)
As for my children, my oldest is 6. My daughter (18 months) obviously doesn't care. But I took my son for a walk one day and asked him if he would be excited for me to get healthier and be about to play with him more. He excitedly jumped up and down and shouted "Yes, yes!" So this is what I said, verbatim:
"Okay, well, in order for me to get healthier, I have to get rid of some of this fat. And to lose fat, you have to eat less bad food. But my stomach really likes bad food, and it's too big, so I get hungry a lot, so it's hard for me to do that without help. A doctor is going to help me."
Then he hasked how the doctor was going to help me.
"I'm going to go to sleep in a big comfy bed, and you remember how they opened me up to take your sister out? And how it didn't hurt at all? They're going to do that again, but really tiny this time. A cut about this big." (fingers an inch apart) And when he goes in, he's going to make my stomach a lot smaller so I can't eat as much, and I won't want all the bad food anymore."
He seemed to get it. I told him he'd have to be very careful with me afterward because I'd be sore, and I wouldn't be able to eat candy or ice cream or junk food anymore.
And that was that. Not many questions. He seemed pretty cool with it all.
(realistically, yes, okay, it could happen. But I did not want to even put the thought out in the universe.)
As for my children, my oldest is 6. My daughter (18 months) obviously doesn't care. But I took my son for a walk one day and asked him if he would be excited for me to get healthier and be about to play with him more. He excitedly jumped up and down and shouted "Yes, yes!" So this is what I said, verbatim:
"Okay, well, in order for me to get healthier, I have to get rid of some of this fat. And to lose fat, you have to eat less bad food. But my stomach really likes bad food, and it's too big, so I get hungry a lot, so it's hard for me to do that without help. A doctor is going to help me."
Then he hasked how the doctor was going to help me.
"I'm going to go to sleep in a big comfy bed, and you remember how they opened me up to take your sister out? And how it didn't hurt at all? They're going to do that again, but really tiny this time. A cut about this big." (fingers an inch apart) And when he goes in, he's going to make my stomach a lot smaller so I can't eat as much, and I won't want all the bad food anymore."
He seemed to get it. I told him he'd have to be very careful with me afterward because I'd be sore, and I wouldn't be able to eat candy or ice cream or junk food anymore.
And that was that. Not many questions. He seemed pretty cool with it all.
_._._._._. _._._._._. _._._._._. _._._._._. _._._._._. _._._._._. _._._._._. _._._._._.
Check out my video blog! www.youtube.com/user/HappilyShrinking/videos
Highest weight: 269. Surgery weight: 233. Goal weight: 144, and then we'll see..
Check out my video blog! www.youtube.com/user/HappilyShrinking/videos
Highest weight: 269. Surgery weight: 233. Goal weight: 144, and then we'll see..
This is similar to what I told mine, 3,5,10 & 13. The 5 year old is the most inquiring about it. he always asks if I can eat something or says i can not because of my new tummy. (then he makes me pretend food that i normally dont eat and says i made it for your tummy with special sugar just for you) They understand a lot more than we give them credit for, and should be informed on what is causing the changes around the house and table. :) Good Luck.
Most Active
Recent Topics