More "Adventures in Self-Restraint"...
...or, "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"...whoops...er...that's for something else...
So, I spent my afternoon at a training seminar for the new Adobe CS6...wow...impressive upgrade...even more so because CS5 was pretty awesome all by itself...I kinda thought it would be like the tech rollout that George Clooney's and Vera Farmiga's characters crashed in the film 'Up In the Air' but it wasn't even close...but I digress...
Anyway, one of the things that I'm sure was a draw for most everyone there was a pizza party before the final presentations (encores of sessions from earlier in the day)...I went, thinking that it would be cheese pizza cut into little squares, but it was really good pizza served in generous slices...I even stood in line for a little while...and then I left...but as I was doing so, I had to admit to myself that I wanted to have a slice of that pizza...I wanted to eat that pizza...I wanted to be able to eat that pizza...all the while knowing not that I couldn't (probably couldn't) but that it just wouldn't be worth it...no, the spicy black bean soup at home isn't pizza...no, it probably isn't tasty like the pizza...
For the first time since my surgery, I can say that I missed what was once a favourite food...but the further I physically got away from it, the less intense was the feeling...and more the realization the feeling was (at least to me) indicative of a "living to eat" orienation toward food instead of an "eating to live" one...that, along with the reminder that changing my relationship with food is not something in which one can declare at some point that the goal has been achieved...no, for me it is something that is done on a daily basis...probably the same dynamic as an alcoholic and his/her sobriety...one day at a time...
So, 'what happened?' you ask...I got home and heated up the leftover spicy black bean soup from yesterday's dinner...added some chihuahua cheese (maybe just a little more than usual) with some blue corn tortilla chips...I finished the soup but not the chips...and I feel so much better...'cause I know that it was the better option for me, my health, my body...finished it off with some yogurt...in a few minutes it will be well past the 30-minute threshold and so I will drink some water as I'm feeling pretty dehydrated...and then go to bed...
And start it all over again...
So, I spent my afternoon at a training seminar for the new Adobe CS6...wow...impressive upgrade...even more so because CS5 was pretty awesome all by itself...I kinda thought it would be like the tech rollout that George Clooney's and Vera Farmiga's characters crashed in the film 'Up In the Air' but it wasn't even close...but I digress...
Anyway, one of the things that I'm sure was a draw for most everyone there was a pizza party before the final presentations (encores of sessions from earlier in the day)...I went, thinking that it would be cheese pizza cut into little squares, but it was really good pizza served in generous slices...I even stood in line for a little while...and then I left...but as I was doing so, I had to admit to myself that I wanted to have a slice of that pizza...I wanted to eat that pizza...I wanted to be able to eat that pizza...all the while knowing not that I couldn't (probably couldn't) but that it just wouldn't be worth it...no, the spicy black bean soup at home isn't pizza...no, it probably isn't tasty like the pizza...
For the first time since my surgery, I can say that I missed what was once a favourite food...but the further I physically got away from it, the less intense was the feeling...and more the realization the feeling was (at least to me) indicative of a "living to eat" orienation toward food instead of an "eating to live" one...that, along with the reminder that changing my relationship with food is not something in which one can declare at some point that the goal has been achieved...no, for me it is something that is done on a daily basis...probably the same dynamic as an alcoholic and his/her sobriety...one day at a time...
So, 'what happened?' you ask...I got home and heated up the leftover spicy black bean soup from yesterday's dinner...added some chihuahua cheese (maybe just a little more than usual) with some blue corn tortilla chips...I finished the soup but not the chips...and I feel so much better...'cause I know that it was the better option for me, my health, my body...finished it off with some yogurt...in a few minutes it will be well past the 30-minute threshold and so I will drink some water as I'm feeling pretty dehydrated...and then go to bed...
And start it all over again...
Weight at Heaviest: 320 lbs.
Weight at Surgery: 283.6 lbs.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion...
Weight at Surgery: 283.6 lbs.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion...
Kind of the same thing here. Took the grandkids to the movie. Popcorn everywhere. Did not eat one little piece. I felt like it but didn't. Movie popcorn is way to many calories and way too much fat. So I went home and had a nice salmon dinner. It was great. Congrats on your choice. Your skinny body will thank you later. 
Visit my Blog at http://www.lwassmann.blogspot.com/ 
(deactivated member)
on 6/26/12 11:44 am - WA
on 6/26/12 11:44 am - WA
"added some chihuahua cheese"
What she said, clutching her chihuahua close to her.
What she said, clutching her chihuahua close to her.
Good job! It feels good to realize that we don't have to eat something just because it's there and we want it, doesn't it? It was a big moment for me when I realized that if I crave something and I don't eat it, I will not die and that craving will pass.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
I totally get this, your brain let you get fat, your body betrays you, I felt the same way today standing in line at Dairy Queen for my bf's blizzard (yup he's off his diet) and getting absolutely nothing and coming home to make my greek yogurt with strawberries. Eating whatever I wanted got me to MO, now I don't rely on my brain to choose, I refuse to listen to my body as I think it knows nothing about how to be thin, what I listen to is the inner voice that says if you eat that you will gain weight and then be miserable. Yes it is hard as hell, I did it twice today, once at lunch time when my friend went to get Chinese food and I ate nothing and then at DQ. But honestly its the only way to stay at goal, nothing else will ever work. It is dieting forever. Somedays are much easier then others.
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