Mentally leaving behind old habits.

 So, I am now officially one month out from my first surgery.  I had some pretty severe (very rare for all of you pre-op) complications and had to be taken into surgery once again on the 11th.  I'm finally getting beyond all of the physical stuff that it took most RNY patients a week or two.  I still have some trouble with stamina (hoping to get cleared for regular exercise on Wednesday) and some discomfort from the dumb drain in my belly but after being in ICU for two weeks, that's not so bad.  :)

Well, with all the complications and severe physical tolls the surgery took on my body, I am only really starting to understand the mental and emotional ramifications.  I have only been eating actual food (moist/mushy/crispy) for a week, but I am starting to really worry about keeping on track now.  Last night, in fact, I ate some of a cake doughnut.  I started reading menus from delivery restaurants like I used to.  Imagining the "cheat" days ahead instead of creative healthy meals that I was so excited for pre-op.  It has been a month and I am already self-sabotaging myself like I have my whole life.  

To be honest, I am bat-sh*t terrified to let this go any farther.  Has anyone else gone through this?  Do you have any tips?  I know that I have taken a good step by recognizing it, but I'm a little bit of a nerous wreck.  Any info/books/youtube channels/podcasts/personal struggles would be so much appreciated!

I can definitely understand where your head is.  I am 2 weeks out from surgery and I'm also struggling daily with head hunger.  I think about it so much it's almost like a job.. lol.  However, I just keep trying to make the best decisions when I actually do eat.  We can do this!!!  Just remember the reasons you made this choice, remember all the things you'll be able to do that you haven't been able to do bc of the weight restriction. 

Try going to bariatricfoodie.com and theworldaccordingtoeggface.com for some good food ideas.  I'm not quite at that stage but it makes me crave those foods rather than the unhealthy food that brought me here. 

Best of luck to you!!

I feel that the head hunger is something that is probably the hardest to get rid of. I'm 10 months out, and am dealing with it on a daily basis. I have a lot of family stress, which for me, stress is a trigger for eating all the wrong foods. I have come to the understanding about this issue, and am currently working on keeping those type of foods out of my pantry. ie... crackers, peanuts, and some sweets. I have found that if I can keep myself mentally busy, I can manage the desires for "stress foods" I will tell you that I find solice on this forum, because so many have been there before us, and continue to help us on a daily basis. It truly is a good support system! I wish you good luck and remember, you're not alone in this adventure.

 Very possibly once you are eating more real food the obsessions will fade. In the meantime, make one decision at a time. Eat one meal at a time. And stop reading about food that's not on your plan! Stop fantasizing about food that's not on your plan. Nobody can beat an addiction or ingrained habit if they fantasize about their drug of choice. Step away.

 This is *excellent* advice  bump!!!

 First, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH.  I was sitting here after my boyfriend left the house and stewed, which for me means "becomes a neurotic, twitchy mess".  I am starting to see a pattern in this that had lead to food in the past.  WOOT.  Small win number one!

Second, Bariatric Foodie is AMAZING and I so much appreciate the tip!  Super inspiring, too, because I may have found a new hobby (spurned from the old one of cooking with the fattiest things I could).

Third, what a great reminder to slow down and, wait a minute, NOT do what you were going to do.  "Slow down" is one of my life's mottos because it helps in almost any sticky situation.  

I can't tell you how much it helped to just be reminded that I'm not alone.  This has been a little bit of a scary process and just a reminder that I'm no pioneer.  :)

Thanks, y'all!  If you can think of anything else, I am all (appreciative) ears!

 The operation is on your gut not your head. But the main issue is what your mind is putting into your gut.

Try to imagine you are filling your car and after the tank is full the gas is spilling out the fill tube and going everywhere causing all sorts of problems.

IMHO I am the world champion at being in denial. Make a practice of looking in the mirror and really looking at yourself. Are you who you want to be?

Keep a food journal and record what you eat and how your emaotions are as you eat that.

Perhaps one time a week alow yourself a comfort food that is alowed by your doctor.

Talk to your doctor and your nutritionalist and try to absorb thier input.

What is that Michael Jackson song? Man in the Mirror!

Seek help here as you already have.

Regards
Allen

 By the way a month after my WLS I had MAJOR complecations and had to go back into hospital for over a week with Fistula repair.

 Some helpful bibliotherapy to get thru this journey are: "Eat it Up!" by Connie Stapleton, "Intuitive Eating" by Tribole & Resch. I also recommend books by Geneen Roth for dealing with binge eating, but not really applicable for milder emotional eating. Be patient with yourself, you've been thru alot!

I am a food addict. At just over a year out I will tell you that head hunger is still my number one issue. It is something I deal with every day... yes, EVERY day. Now that I can eat nearly anything I want to without it getting stuck or making me sick - so much more is up to me.

I am working on alternative things to do to take care of myself that doesn't involve food. Like getting my car washed after a stressful day at work, or giving myself a pedicure when I am frustrated about some vitamin issues I am having, or sending a note to a friend... I recently celebrated getting accepted to college with a round of mini golf with my friends. I call it retraining your brain.

I still slip into old habits from time to time. I had a rough weekend where I was into cookies and brownies at a party on Saturday. But Sunday morning I was back into my routine of low carbs, high protein and plenty of fluids.

I also suggest a therapist that specializes in eating disorders. I have one that I see from time to time and she helps me get back on track before I do real scale damage.

And this website helps A LOT. I feel like it's somewhere I can go where people are genuinely concerned in helping one another.

You can do it!