OT: Son going to homecoming with a girl of opposite religion..Really opposite what would u...
Let me start out by saying we are Christians and my son who is 15 and going to his first homecoming for 9th grade. Exciting right? Well the girl he has asked to go claims to be a Satan worshiper and she has photos on her facebook page that to me are horrifying and they are depicting the desecration of Jesus to put it mildly. She has purple hair and wears some intense make up. I have never met this girl face to face so I do not know how serious she is about this Satan worship stuff.
I am afraid that if I make a big deal about this that it will just cause my son to rebel against me and move closer to this girl, at the same time we are Christians and I have raised him in christian school and church so he knows better but he is in his adolescent "acceptance of everything phase" he insists that they are just going as friends and he does not have any interest in her but I am still worried about a negative influence in his life especially any one that derails all of the values and beliefs I have worked so hard all of these years to instill in him.
Please understand I do not have a problem with any ones religious beliefs, I believe as humans we should have the freedom to believe and worship as we want and I respect that.
That being said this is a bit more difficult to accept when it comes to your only child dating someone who so publicly disgraces Jesus who I believe in and who is my LORD and savior.
So what do you think? Let him have this moment of rebelliousness or put my foot down?
Thanks for your input :)
I am afraid that if I make a big deal about this that it will just cause my son to rebel against me and move closer to this girl, at the same time we are Christians and I have raised him in christian school and church so he knows better but he is in his adolescent "acceptance of everything phase" he insists that they are just going as friends and he does not have any interest in her but I am still worried about a negative influence in his life especially any one that derails all of the values and beliefs I have worked so hard all of these years to instill in him.
Please understand I do not have a problem with any ones religious beliefs, I believe as humans we should have the freedom to believe and worship as we want and I respect that.
That being said this is a bit more difficult to accept when it comes to your only child dating someone who so publicly disgraces Jesus who I believe in and who is my LORD and savior.
So what do you think? Let him have this moment of rebelliousness or put my foot down?
Thanks for your input :)
RNY 1/29/08
Pre: BMI 47.6 wt 279
Current: BMI 24.9 wt 146
total pounds lost: 133
Well, first of all, I would be a bit concerned myself, and I think I'm very open-minded about different religious beliefs.
That said, I think most teens that call themselves Satanists really don't even understand what that means. I think they do it for the shock value.
The purple hair and makeup wouldn't concern me at all. Her values would. I guess I would try to separate the word "Satanist" from what she expresses as her values. For instance, if the pics she has on facebook suggest she's into things like harming animals or people, I would not want my child involved with her. If "Satanist" for her means she's into upside down crosses and upsid down pentagrams, though, I'd let it go.
I'd probably lean toward letting your son make his own choices. I really doubt one girl that's into Satanism is going to derail al lthe values and beliefs you've instilled in him all his life.
However, you know your child better than anyone here does. If you feel hanging out with this girl is going to be harmful to him, I would put my foot down.
That said, I think most teens that call themselves Satanists really don't even understand what that means. I think they do it for the shock value.
The purple hair and makeup wouldn't concern me at all. Her values would. I guess I would try to separate the word "Satanist" from what she expresses as her values. For instance, if the pics she has on facebook suggest she's into things like harming animals or people, I would not want my child involved with her. If "Satanist" for her means she's into upside down crosses and upsid down pentagrams, though, I'd let it go.
I'd probably lean toward letting your son make his own choices. I really doubt one girl that's into Satanism is going to derail al lthe values and beliefs you've instilled in him all his life.
However, you know your child better than anyone here does. If you feel hanging out with this girl is going to be harmful to him, I would put my foot down.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
Thanks Kelly it is more pentagrams and upside down crosses in my opinion it is more attention getting behavior than true religious beliefs but I will meet her Saturday so I will have an opportunity to learn her personality better.
RNY 1/29/08
Pre: BMI 47.6 wt 279
Current: BMI 24.9 wt 146
total pounds lost: 133
Teenagers sometimes like things for the pure shock value. It could well be that this girl is interested in Satanism or what she believes it to be purely for the reaction she will get.
Is it possible for you to meet her? There could be far more beneath the surface than meets the eye. She could be drawn to her religious leanings because she is getting acceptance there where she isn't getting it in other places in her life. Or possibly it seems fun to be perceived as wicked and tough.
Your son might have scratched the surface and found some good qualities. Why not ask your son what it is he likes about her? Is she funny? Kind? Non judgmental? He very well could only be interested in her as a friend and not have any romantic thoughts. Think back to your teenage years. Were you friends with someone you wouldn't be friends with now? I was.
So while I understand your concern, I would want to meet this girl before I made a decision whether or not to put my foot down on further contact. You never know: your son could be the most stable, steady person she knows.
Is it possible for you to meet her? There could be far more beneath the surface than meets the eye. She could be drawn to her religious leanings because she is getting acceptance there where she isn't getting it in other places in her life. Or possibly it seems fun to be perceived as wicked and tough.
Your son might have scratched the surface and found some good qualities. Why not ask your son what it is he likes about her? Is she funny? Kind? Non judgmental? He very well could only be interested in her as a friend and not have any romantic thoughts. Think back to your teenage years. Were you friends with someone you wouldn't be friends with now? I was.
So while I understand your concern, I would want to meet this girl before I made a decision whether or not to put my foot down on further contact. You never know: your son could be the most stable, steady person she knows.
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How about you meet her before homecoming?
Just because she is a Satanist, it doesn't mean she is going to break your son of his own belief system. Also, I don't see what the problem is if she has purple hair. I think she's going through a phase of trying to find herself--she's a teenager. LOL I had several friends in high school who were proclaimed Satanists, but now they are adults, they don't necessarily prescribe to the same beliefs. Personally, I wouldn't worry about it. Besides, if you're claiming to be a Christian, then you would accept this girl, without prejudice.
I'm not putting down your belief system--I'm just pointing out the hypocracy if you are judgemental of someone you don't know.
Just because she is a Satanist, it doesn't mean she is going to break your son of his own belief system. Also, I don't see what the problem is if she has purple hair. I think she's going through a phase of trying to find herself--she's a teenager. LOL I had several friends in high school who were proclaimed Satanists, but now they are adults, they don't necessarily prescribe to the same beliefs. Personally, I wouldn't worry about it. Besides, if you're claiming to be a Christian, then you would accept this girl, without prejudice.
I'm not putting down your belief system--I'm just pointing out the hypocracy if you are judgemental of someone you don't know.
Thanks for replying, I have tried not judged her yet just and I don't want to be hipocritical but this is tough and I didn't think I would be facing a situation like this on his very first date! jeez the kid can't cut me a little break :). And you are 100% right as a Christian it is my obligation to forgive others and accept them just as Christ has done for me so I am going to give it my best shot. But it's also my obligation to spread the word of God so I hope she is ready to hear the good news! I just migh scare her more than she scares me!
RNY 1/29/08
Pre: BMI 47.6 wt 279
Current: BMI 24.9 wt 146
total pounds lost: 133
DO NOT PROSELYTIZE TO THIS GIRL. It would be as disrespectful of her as it would be if she were to try to convert you to whatever belief system she professes.
Just be polite, talk to her as a person, and respect your son's choice of date.
You also need to talk to your son about his attitude about this girl.
He's not going to create a problem if you don't cause a big fuss.
Just be polite, talk to her as a person, and respect your son's choice of date.
You also need to talk to your son about his attitude about this girl.
He's not going to create a problem if you don't cause a big fuss.
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