Scared of failing again

Funmomof 4
on 11/20/12 6:48 am - Mechanicsburg, PA

As my Rny gets closer I find myself getting more freaked out about failing. I had Lap Band 9 years ago and reached my lowest at 260 when it slipped. They repaired it and since then, I could never tolerate a fill. I am back up to almost my presurgical wt but have been working hard prior to my RNY.  I have read so many stories about people who have gained back all their weight 4,5 10 years out. Some people are saying its from an enlarges Stoma that connects the stomach. Is there a way to keep this from happening??? I am so afraid of doing this and failing.

Tammi.  Lap band to sleeve revision Nov 27, 2012 

    

Jenni_9yrspostop
on 11/20/12 6:55 am

If you follow the directions and change your eating habits you may never gain the weight back. We don't have to unless we start back with old habits. More calories in than we burn off means weight gain - period. Keep up on your protein, water and exercise, don't get complacient, follow your docs advice for protein grams per day, carbs per day, etc. Exercise to keep your metabolism up and burn off what you eat and you'll be fine. I know many long term post ops who are still maintaining their ideal weight.

Jen 11 yrs post op RNY

Citizen Kim
on 11/20/12 7:04 am - Castle Rock, CO

It's totally within your control.  

People *****gain don't embrace their lifestyle, it's very easy to outeat and outwit your body and it's your choice whether you do so or not!

Most of us that are successful learned good habits and stick to them *most* of the time ...   For me, it means that I eat protein forward, don't drink with meals or for 30-45 minutes afterwards, and exercise 5-6 times per week!

 

Proud Feminist, Atheist, LGBT friend, and Democratic Socialist

sharoncarrie
on 11/20/12 7:07 am - Garland, TX

I've read that avoiding drinking before or after a meal can stretch the stoma so I have really tried to avoid this. I have always drank diet soda or tea with my meals so it has been very difficult. I think if you stick to the basic guidelines you will do terrific! Don't let your mind sabotage you so early in your journey. I have a tendency to over think things & this is probably what you are doing now. HUGS!

MultiMom
on 11/20/12 7:11 am - NH

It is important to remember that the surgery will help you to take off the weight, it is up to you to keep it off. This is not a magic bullet but it is a wonderful tool. Learn a new normal. If you go back to your old bad habits, you will regain.....it's that simple.

High 250/Consult Weight 245/Surgery 205/Now 109
Height 5'4.5" BMI 18.4
In maintenance since June 2009

(deactivated member)
on 11/20/12 8:42 am

Yep, there is a way. Follow your rules about eating and drinking. Stop before you're full, don't stuff yourself, don't manipulate your pouch. You'll do it occasionally, all the above, get ready for that one, so I'm not saying beat yourself up every time. But make a conscious effort NOT TO and then it'll become habit and you'll learn how much food is right for you. I don't have to weigh or measure anymore, I can eyeball it. Your pouch/stoma won't break if you overeat once. Not if you overeat 10 times. But If you make it a habit, you'll stretch the stoma, yes. If you don't stick to a new lifestyle and instead go back to old habits, you'll gain.

I was afraid of succeeding THEN failing to stay at goal, which is just dumb, so I stayed at a "comfortable" weight instead of getting to goal. I was dumb. I let my fear win. So I didn't lose all I wanted. But I HAVE kept off 88% of my excess weight for 5.5 years when my surgeon doesn't even expect anything more than 75%. That other 12% is going to take some work now, at 5 years out. But I think it can be done. I'm working on it, slowly. I eat pretty healthy now. Healthier than most people I know. WAY WAY, like light years, healthier than pre-op. I couldn't exercise pre-op, I was just too big. It was too painful and my asthma was just a total bear. No problem now! (It was a problem I was anemic, that's for sure... oh yeah, take yer iron post-op!!)

And equally important, deal with the emotional and psychological issues with food. Start now and work hard in the first year while you have all that super restriction and malabsorption to help you along the way.

Your fear is normal, but it's a choice. Do you want to embark on this with a fearful mindset and just maybe kinda sorta hope for the best, or do you want to do it with pure intention, commitment, and a positive outlook for the great future you could have ahead of you? Choose wisely. And I don't mean to bash the lap-band, but it's not the same thing. I personally think I would have failed on the lap-band. That's why I chose RNY, and wanted something permanent. I did good, minus that one hitch about a year out when I let fear (and perhaps complacency as its travel buddy) make a bad decision.

I wish you all the best, and hope the positive vibes find you wherever you may be. :-)

poet_kelly
on 11/20/12 10:23 am - OH

See, your experience with the band is very common.  It's common for it to slip and it's common for people to have poor results.  It's not really that you failed.  You had the typical, expected results.  Unfortunately, those aren't good results, but it doesn't mean you failed.  It means you're normal.

Chances are you'll have the typical, expected results with RNY, too.  Fortunately, those results are much better than the band. 

The stoma can get enlarged but it's not very common.  Chewing your food well and not drinking with  meals helps prevent that.  In most cases when people gain weight back, it's not because the stoma or pouch has stretched, it's because they are making poor food choices.  Even if you can only eat small amounts of food at a time, if the foods you choose are things like french fries and ice cream and cookies and Doritoes, well, you can get a lot of calories in a small amount of food.  Drinking with meals also lets you eat a lot more because it washes the food out of your pouch, so you can continue eating more.

In order to get the results you want, you'll need to stick to the plan.  The RNY will help you stick to the plan because you'll get full on a small amount of food - at four years post op, I usually get full on one cup of food.  But you'll have to choose the right foods.  You may not tolerate some junk foods well, but it's likely there will be plenty of things you tolerate just fine that are high in fat and sugar and calories and are things you need to avoid or really limit.  Your RNY won't force you to make good food choices, it will just help you eat small portions.

I would be surprised if many people gained all their weight back at just four years post op.  Since most people lose weight for one to two years post op, that would mean they regained all their weight in just a couple years.  That would be awfully rapid weight gain.  Now, ten years out, I could see that happening.  But it certainly doesn't happen to everyone.  I'm four years out and am maintaining my weight at a few pounds below my goal weight.  I know many other people that are four years out or more and are maintaining at a good weight.

View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.com          Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR.  If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor.  Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me.  If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her.    Check out my blog.

 

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