Vague or tell people?
I happen to have a lot of esophagus and reflux issues, so the surgeon told me RNY would be a good surgery regardless of my weight (instead of Nissen Fundiplication, for example). Since most people know I have esophagus issues, I'm thinking I will be telling people I'm having surgery to correct my LES (totally true) and then whatever resulting weight loss I can attribute to having to eat small portions because of the surgery. This isn't the whole story, but I wonder if it's good enough, and then I wonder if I will feel somewhat guilty not telling the whole story. I know it is nobody's business, but I have a lot of acquaintances that that are going to be asking me how I lost so much weight (fingers crossed) in such a short amount of time.
When my mom had her surgery, she said she was getting her gallbladder removed (also true) but avoided telling people the whole story. Is anyone else vague? Does anyone else feel kind of guilty about it? I'm just such a gabby person that it will be so unlike me to not be gushing over "Omg! I lost x pounds! Atkins/WW/Slim Fast is the greatest!"
I told my mom and my sister that I had surgery to correct a hernia. Which was also true, I just left out the RYN part. They are not positive or supportive people. For work, I just told them I needed surgery. When they noticed I was eating better and asked how I told them I exercise more, and don't eat gluten and dairy which is pretty much true except for some cheese. The funny thing was before my surgery I lost 55 pounds in 4 months with the dr. supervised diet and WW and hardly anyone noticed except my boss. He knew I had been working hard at losing weight so he just thought it has continued on. I don't give out numbers about how many pounds I have lost to anyone however. My really close friends know and support me.
Plus, I normally as a pretty private person about medical health issues anyway.
I don't feel guilty, but I have told 2 people at work who are very heavy themselves and have asked me to share what I did because they are struggling with their weight. I have asked them not to spread it around and they have told me they won't. I did tell them I would be happy to share privately any info they want to know. I think both of them are considering WLS. It became a option at work on our insurance 2 years ago.
One girl in her late 20's who is super thin kept bugging me about why I was out on medical . Per work rules, I told her I am not obligated to disclosure. She thought maybe everyone else knew but her. I told her I don't discuss my health with my co-workers. she told me, OH, I thought it was only me that didn't know because I am low man on the totem pole. They she said, well when people lose weight quickly some people think cancer. I told her, no that is not the only reason again said, I don't discuss my medical with co-workers. She finally left me alone and I was glad I stuck to my guns. What a xxxxx,
RNY 8/29/12 5' 9" tall
I was completely open if asked about how I was losing weight, ESPECIALLY if the person who was asking was someone overweight. Number one, I was not willing to lie (either outright or by omission). I did not always VOLUNTEER the I do, but f asked, I was honest.
Number two, I did not want to give an "I changed my eating habits and started exercising" line because that leaves out the HUGE role that surgery plays in the weight loss and gives other overweight people the false message (and probably more negative internal messages) that if they just ate differently and exercised that THEY could experience the same kind of weight loss. IMO, people who have surgery and allow other obese people to believe they are losing WITHOUT surgery are being cruel. We all have had enough guilt and self-criticism for not having enough willpower, etc. to lose the weight... we do not need people who have been fortunate enough to have surgery adding MORE of that guilty and negativity by being dishonest about how they are losing weight (and, IMO, it IS dishonest to mislead people into believing that no surgery was involved). Besides, depending on how much you have to lose, they WILL eventually figure it out, and they may then be angry because you lied.
Lora
14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
I can agree with that in point, and I'm certainly not arguing with what you should say to people, because that's your choice. The hitch in that reasoning, for me, seems to be the underlying assumption that if someone asks, you're entitled to disclose something to them so that you don't mislead them. I tend to think it wasn't their place to ask to begin with and so they'll just have to settle for the answer I'm willing to provide, because I'm not required to provide them with any information. It's personal, medical stuff.
My answer isn't BS though, it's the truth. It really IS alot of hard work, ongoing for a lifetime. I have said it repeatedly: alot of hard work, and will be for life. The details aren't their business. I am not their therapist, I am not their personal trainer, I am not their dietician or nutritionist, I am not their physician, I am not their role model, I am not anything to 99% of the people who've asked questions. They are not my responsibility. They can make their own choices.
