So mad at myself!

I had an EGD scheduled for this morning.  it is my last test to be done before it gets submitted to the insurance.  I was up at 5:45 getting my kids things around and getting lunches together and I ate 4 fruit snacks without even thinking about it (definitely a lesson in being mindful of what I eat!).  It took me a minute before I realized what I had done and I called right away and they canceled my test for today :(     so now I wait again to be rescheduled for this...I want to kick my own rear.  My husband didn't understand why I was so upset and why the "small" delay bothered me.  He doesn't get that it was like being so close after jumping through all these hoops and then not getting what you were hoping for!  Oh well, I need to suck it up and move on with my day!  Just needed to vent and I knew people on here would feel my pain and understand the frustration I brought on myself.

I understand the frustration.  I'm sorry about your delay.  Good for you for calling to tell them you'd eaten something instead of trying to go ahead with the test anyway.  It's really important to be honest with your medical team, for your own safety and wellbeing. 

I know you didn't ask for advice but I'm going to offer you some anyway.  If you don't want advice, feel free to disregard it.

I don't think eating four fruit snacks (were these tiny fruit snacks?) and delaying your EGD a little is a real big deal.  However, I think eating without even thinking about what you're doing, even when it's going to have consequences that are a big deal to you, is a big deal.  Do you see what I mean?  You might want to look up some info on something called mindful eating.  You might also want to consider seeing a therapist, if you're not already in therapy, to address why you eat without thinking about it and to figure out how to make sure you don't continue doing it.  Eating without thinking about it could cause you problems post op, and could also end up leading to regain down the road.

I agree with your advice 100%! I have been working with a doctor at the weight loss center I go to on mindful eating and I think that was a part of why I was so upset! I don think the concept of mindful rating had fully sunk in until this happened. The reality of what problems it could have caused me had I done this post op hit me like a ton of bricks and finally it clicked! Thankfully I meet with my doctor again this week!

How long have you been working on the mindful eating?  It takes a long time to learn to do something new and to get comfortable with it and for it to seem automatic.  I think it's a lot like if you were learning a foreign language.  You might be pretty good with the new language when you were calm and relaxed, but when you were stressed, or if you just didn't focus, you might find yourself going back to English because that's what you're used to and what you're most comfortable with.

Try not to be too hard on yourself.  Just realize that you're learning and it's a process and takes time.  Post op, at least initially, you might want to remind yourself before you start packing lunches or something like that to focus on what you're doing and what you're not doing, which is not eating the food.

I am so sorry as I know how you feel.   My date was to have been 1/4 but do to crazy issues here, my meds got all messed up and at pre-op on 12/26, my thyroid was so low that they cancelled the surgery and it took me 4 weeks to get back to the proper level.  I have an extremely popular surgeon and they gave me a new date of 4/1.  I felt horrible that it seemed so far out and on April Fool's Day no less.  They called yesterday and had a cancellation, so my new date is 3/13.  It will get better.

I have been working on mindful eating and am not having a problem with that but I am having issues with not drinking during a meal or for awhile after.  I hope this changes after surgery.

Good luck to you!

Thanks for the words of wisdom Kelly!  I have been working on mindful eating for about two months.  I thought I was doing ok but then this happened and now I think I need to take a step back and start over.  I love the analogy of a new language.  That is exactly how I feel! 

Thanks for your encouragement Lynn!  Congrats on your new date coming up!