RNY surgery for Husband and Wife Question??????

My wife and I are planning to have RNY in the near future. We go to our first Seminar next Saturday 03/09/13 at the CAMC Weight Loss Center in Charleston,WV. My wife and I have spent some time researching and I am still left with a question.  If we can schedule the surgeries close, with in a few days.  Is it something that is recommended?  My thinking is that we would do better going through it together. We would probably not have trouble with getting someone to stay with us a day or two right after the surgery, but not long term.  Any suggestions or ideas would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks

Harvey Sponaugle

 

 

I can think of one thing that would be good about having surgery at the same time - you'd be able to prepare just one meal for you both to share, such as a big protein shake or a bigger amount of pureed foods.  It would also be good for you to be able to see the other one eating the same as you and not being able to eat something you can't anymore.

As far as taking care of one another, that wasn't a problem at all for me.  I didn't have pain after my surgery and never even took a pain prescription home from the hospital.  I was able to do everything for myself - I even showered myself at the hospital before going home.  I really would not have needed anyone to stay with me, although my hubby was here.  It's not like that for everyone, though.

It would also be nice to have someone to talk to when you go through your weight stalls, someone to cheer you on when you're feeling like you're not losing weight or to share your successes.

I wish you both the best!

I would think that if you have someone that can assist you both for the first couple of days JUST IN CASE you are in pain, then doing this together would be awesome. I say just in case because it seems that there are some people (as the other poster stated) just don't have any pain after surgery. I have not had mine yet, but I anticipate some initial pain when I get home.

I have seen several stories where someone who is overweight who also has an overweight spouse has the surgery and the spouse becomes jealous and sometimes tries to sabotage the other intentionally or unintentionally. If you both have this together then you can work together. There have also been some situations where the spouse does not like the "new you" and frustrations and tempers set in. Whether you plan to do this together or apart, you both need to take some time to discuss the changes that are about to happen, both diet and physical changes.

Your social lives will change somewhat during the early stages and people won't completely understand your avoidance of their invitations to outings. I believe the more your spouse, family, and friends know about your surgery the better.

Best of luck to you both and I hope that you can work it out to where you can both go at it at the same time. Maybe you will get a discount: BOGO!! ;-)

You will have restrictions with driving during post op (while on pain meds) and lifting more than 10 lbs for 6 weeks.

The what-ifs? What-if one of you needs assistance and the other is not capable? How will you get around, do groceries, get to post-op appts?

Unless you have help available for at least two weeks I think having surgery together would be risky.

 

I think it depends if you are "up and at 'em" type of people.   I never had any pain or problems post surgery so was not on pain meds after the day of surgery itself - therefore, I was able to come home, drive immediately and take care of my 11 month old and older son with no difficulties.  My husband went back to work the day after I was discharged!

If you don't do well with pain tolerance or anaesthesia, I would suggest having 4-6 weeks before your surgeries so you can each have the "attention" you need!

My husband and I had our surgeries one month apart from each other.  It was perfect.  I had my surgery first and at one month post-op was able to care for my husband.

Hi! When may I ask did you have your surgery?

 

My surgery was on 3/19/12 and my husbands was on 5/7/12.  I have lost 119lbs and my husband has lost 185lbs.  I really should update my profile picture :-)

My hubby and I had our surgeries about 6 weeks apart and it was good timing. He had his first and had a rougher "go of it" as he had other health issues to deal with as well. I was able to take care of the lifting and such for him. By the time I had my surgery, he was graduating to more interesting foods, and it was the "light at the end of the tunnel" for me. When the time came, he prepared all sorts of delicious bariatric friendly meals for me.

Everyone is different, and every couple is two times the different.... Best of luck to you and yours!

i had RNY on 7/11/12 and hubby had VSG on 7/16/12.  hardest part was needing someone to carry my belongings to my husband's hospital room since i stayed overnight with him for 2 nights after his surgery.  luckily my mom came down to hang with me while he was in surgery.  when our surgeon came to check on hubby, he was able to ask how i was and answer any questions i had.  Hubby was able to run any last minute errands for me while i was home recouping before his surgery date.  it was awesome being on the same food stages together, definitely leaned on each other for support - especially when we got so tired of pureed foods!  both on same food plan and have both lost 90 lbs each now.  so happy we did it together and so close together.