Shared news of upcoming surgery...

Thanks!  I felt that being open with my decision for WLS was very important.  :)

I only had one person say anything negative at all, and she was just genuinely concerned about the drastic nature and safety of the surgery.  I think that is partly because 1) I was SMO (BMI of almost 57), so people knew how much I needed to lose weight for health reasons, and 2) when I told people, I made it clear that it was a decision I had already made and that I was just sharing my decision with them.

I would just tell you not to get sucked into the position of defending or explaining your decision. Just tell people that you and your doctor have discussed the pros and cons, as well as your previous weight history and weight loss attempts, and that this is what you have decided is best for you.

As far as the negative stories, unless it is something someone witnessed first hand (e.g. "When my sister had RNY..."), I wouldn't even let them start to tell the story because most of those stories are BS.  Even if it is a first hand account, I would just say that the decision has been made and everyone's experience is different.

I'm sorry some of your friends weren't supportive, but they will probably become more supportive once they see that your mind is made up.

Lora

Thanks, Lora!  :)

I haven't had the surgery yet, but have told a few very close friends and my family. So far the only negative person is my father - the one person who is just like me. Same size, same eating problems, and same problems losing weight. He had a heart attack at 50 and lost his father and all his uncles by the age of 65 due to obesity issues. You'd think he would be the first to support me. I told him I want to see my kids graduate high school, get married and have kids. I honestly believe if I don't have surgery I won't live to see 50. I told him I'd love his support but will still have surgery without it. Hopefully his attitude will change as the pre-op journey continues.

Hopefully your dad will understand your decision soon!  Although they never voiced their concerns, a couple if my family members were very concerned in the beginning.  I explained my risk factors and my problems associated with obesity.  I also showed them a visual demonstration (YouTube) of the procedure.  They are supportive now. I think their reservations were due to fear for my safety. Good luck with your surgery!

Hi Peg (that's my name, too!)

I haven't told many people for exactly the reasons you cite. I told only my sister and my inner circle of friends.  My sister and one friend are being very supportive but my very best friend in the whole world said the most unbelievable thing to me. She is a bit overweight, but "normal person" overweight, as in, the girl who was always thin but then had 2 kids and turned 40 overweight and now would like to lose 30 lbs. She said "I wish I was lucky enough to qualify for it (the surgery) and lose it the easy way"  as though I just won some sort of lottery! At my heaviest I weighed 320 lbs, I am currently 275. What part of that is "lucky"? I have type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, arthritis in both hips and one knee. Lucky indeed!  And don't get me started on "easy"!!! I was really angry at first but after thinking about it, I realized her comment was more about her frustration with her own situation than anything really to do with me. Since I know what it's like to be upset and frustrated with weight, I let it go.  But, I also haven't told anyone else. They'll figure it out once I have it and hopefully get good results.

Hey Peg....by the way, cool name 

My poor health made my decision for WLS much easier.  The idea that WLS is easy is just crazy to me.  Hope your friend becomes more supportive.  Traveling with you on your road to a healthier you may actually benefit her.  Best of luck to you!

I am not surprised by the couple of comments. Although they call themselves your friends they should have supported you just because they are your friends and kept their comments to themselves. Yes bad things can happen but bad things can happen with any surgery people don't think about that though. And if (and I don't know if they did) they haven't researched WLS how can they really say things like that. I would think anyone thinking about having WLS has researched this. And for those of us that are thinking or had WLS it is because we are trying to get healthier. And as far as pushing yourself away from the table then I would have to rethink who is really your friend.  I think friends should be supportive and if they are really concerned about something that we are about to do then they should think of a way to approach us (their so called friend) in a supportive caring way instead of blurting out what is on their minds without thinking about how it is going to make us feel. I lost a friend because of something like this and we were friends for many years and no matter how much I ignored the comments on some things after a while I just couldn't take it any more and decided that maybe we were as good of friends as I thought we were. Remember from now on this is going to be a life changing thing for you and you are going to need people that can support you through this and at times it is going to be hard. You don't need negative comments. But you will always be able to get support here. Good luck to you in what ever you do. And good luck with your so called friends.

That's a bit disappointing.  I'm glad that most were supportive, I just wish everyone was.  I guess folks don't realize what a big decision it is, and it's not made on a whim.

So far the only one that knows I'm planning this are my DH and a good friend.  DH is very supportive, and so is my friend.  My friends reaction was, I know you and once you set your mind to something, you DO it, 100%.  I wasn't expecting that kind of reaction...and surprisingly made me feel good.

Once I know I'm in the program (consult 4/22), then I'll tell the rest of the family, etc.  But no sense crackin' that nut til I have to LOL.  But what you bring up here is something that's been in the back of my mind.  Heck, I've lost 50lbs before (and put more back on...duh), so why can't I do that, and more again?  (I'm waiting for that from someone.)

Thanks for bringing this up.  Presuming I'm accepted (and approved) I'll have put more thought in how to talk to family and friends about my decision.