Thank you, Poodlemac. I believe the majority of us can take all of the 'tough love' anyone can dish out if it's done in a decent way, WITHOUT personal attacks. And I thought this forum was for ALL to share their opinions/questions/advice, not only those who have been "on this site for more than a month'.

They want people to do well.Sometimes things may sound harsh.But you can not hear the tone in someones voice.

Sometimes we need a kick in the pants to make sure our head is in the game. There is nothing worse after you tell someone you are having surgery or you had it done. They tell you about someone who did not do well and they gained back all of their weight.

It can really make you feel bad.The vets really do want you to do well. 

This is not an easy journey everyday. It can be easy and can be hard sometimes.I know that sounds like an oxymoron but it's true.

What she said.

And I am not a vet (just a regular lurker) and I see some people WILLFULLY doing things that aren't on plan and looking for ...?validation/assurance/something I dont have the word for/?approval?  

No. No.NO. No.

What these patients may not realize (because the surgeon doesnt always tell you) is there is a honeymoon period. It is different for everyone. One doesnt know when their honeymoon is going to end. But the time in which to lose large amounts of weight EASILY is LIMITED.  LIMITED.  It is finite.

So as one newbie to another, I get scared for/nervous when I see someone "wasting" their precious honeymoon period.

I also wonder if these patients sat down and really *thought* about what the surgery is.  It is an extreme procedure (involving re-routing the digestive system, staples, sutures, and reduction of the stomach to a pouch with a stoma).  Again, this is really extreme (as compared to WW...maybe not brain surgery).  Since the surgery is an extreme measure to lose weight, WHY would one want to do things to negate its success and/or function.

This..I do not understand. If one wants to "cheat" and "do things wrong" on a plan, go to Weigh****chers and mess up all one likes.  One will get the group "pat on the back" for a lot cheaper with no hospital stay or psych consult involved.  

So...these are my thoughts...and I am not a vet.  I am just a person who has read a lot of posts on the boards for about a year...

It's absolutely about validation. Well said!

YESSS ... I know truth is truth no matter what... I like kicks in the butt too. They help me ... But hey everyone can't handle the beast mode of some... It isn't an easy journey that is why I am so transparent whether I did great or did horrible. I appreciate truth... 

I will continue to prevail throughout this process. I thank you for your post!

I am simply amazed at the comments that have been posted on here.  We have all fallen short.  Why would we take our time to put others down and be brutally mean.  Whatever happens to each of us is a choice we made or didn't make.  None of any of you have to live with that choice we do.  So if we fail or continue it is us that has to face it. How many of any of you before or after you had surgery  Reacted good to negativity?  Most people who are emotional eaters do worse when someone makes horrible comments.  Maybe some of you don't remember what that life is like because you have either reached your goals or progressed farther then the newbies.  Forum or not we are not here to be mean to one another. As my grandmother says if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything.  What help did you offer this poor girl by saying she made a big mistake after it has already been done?  That does not benefit anyone.  Maybe the person that said it because they thrive on being rude to others.  We are adults we should treat each others how we want to be treated.  It is ok if you don't agree with a choice that one of has made.  But who gives you the right to be mean like that.  We look up to the ones who have lost the weight.  With comments that have been made it is really disappointing.  I didn't join this site either to be belittled or put down.  I want to be encouraged and encourage others.  Nothing good comes from being negative and it doesn't mean you have to agree or baby talk someone but respect is definitely a must.

Besides most people don't even have to do a pre op diet.......  And it is way harder doing the pre op diet then it is after surgery when you don't feel hungry anymore.  And yes I had Subway on my pre op diet........

I have also lost over 100 lbs on my own before so I know the struggle both ways.  And nothing has ever come good out of my weight struggles with anyone being rude or making comments like that. 

WE all have been in the same boat.  If people continue to be rude then the ones of us that struggle wont see other people post things because they will be scared of being put down if they do.  I want to feel like I am not the only one out there having an issue.  So it helps for others to be honest and post what they are going through,

I think people really need too look into why they joined this site. 

Brutally mean? What are you reading?

You have to read her post from earlier to get what I am saying.  She posted about cheating a little on pre op and got blasted by people.  I just didn't think it was nice.

I read it.  I still don't see anything that could remotely referred to as "brutally mean."  Could you please provide any examples?