New..with so many questions

My wife is schedualed to have open RNY on the 30th of june 2004. I am getting kinda nervous about the surgery and get this tingle in my chest when i think about the up and coming surgery day. some of the questions i have are..... What should the spouse bring to the hospital? Is there anything special that i need to do once my wife gets home from the hospital? What are some problems i should look for after she gets home?? any answers or assistance will be greatly appreciated. < Marc >

MARK CHILL HON ITS GOING TO BE FINE, TRUST ME THERE WILL BE A by her side and when she get home just make sure she is as comfortable as possible, and follows her diet. there will be some , however take a down to her and this is a real tough job and in the end you both will be it will be all over again. GOD BLESS

Valerie thank you for your help. I know that everything will be fine with the surgery. My main concern now is... what happens after she has reached her goal weight and does not want to be with me anymore. I know no matter what she looks like, I will her for the rest of my life. I am just scared that she will find someone better than me after she has made her transformation. Thank you again.

My husband has made comments here and there like that to me. I actually feel bad he feels that way about me. I will love him no matter what. I took my marriage vows seriously and through sickness and in health untill death do us part. I also know that it upsets me to no end that he would think my weight would cause me to download him for a newer model (his words) when we have been through so much together. He has seen me at my worst and I honestly can not imagine myself with anyone but him. I will tell you what I told my husband only in not the same words. She chose you, no one else. She married you, no one else. She will have her world changed with you by her side, no one else. If she really wanted to leave you she could do it fat, but she hasn't. Just be there for her, and let her go through the changes ahead. Try to be supportive and try not to entertain those thoughts untill she has given you reason. It falls under the if you get accused so many times why not start because you can't win. Try not to make her guilty of something she hasnt done yet. And the most important advice I can give is show her how much you love her over and over. If she is getting the good attention from you she more than likely wont look elsewhere. Good luck, Briana

Marc, When you go to the hospital bring the following: Your best attitude Lots of Love Understanding Lots of Love Compassion Lots of Love Humor Lots of Love Flowers Lots of Love and of course as many gentle hugs and hand pats that you can find. Dan

Marc, Just be there for her bring her some chap stick her lips will be very dry Everything will be fine. Make sure she has slip on shoes and a good hard pillow The thing she will need most is you Maryann

she will need you to just be there and love her.she will need chap stick at the hospital you may want a book or game when she comes home the house needs to be clean and the shower cleaned between every shower whatch out for infections

Marc, what I can recommend to you is have a strong hand "when ask what have I done" and well also confident words to let her know you are in her ring. Beleive me a dozen of her favorite roses can not hurt, when all else fails pink roses. Help her clean up when she is barfing and feels so unfemale, make her feel like a queen..When all else fails..... fall in love with her all-over for her strenght. Most important remember the day you fell in love with this person. Karen