My 5 Year Surgiversary.
Abbyide
on 4/10/11 5:19 pm - NY
on 4/10/11 5:19 pm - NY
Hi, I'm Abby!
The first couple of years after I had surgery I was a pretty prolific poster, but I haven't been around much at all in the last three or so years. I try to check in every so often, but not as often as I should have or have wanted to.
So, it's been five years.
I'm going to try to answer some of the most obvious questions someone newly post op or pre op would have. The questions I had, five years ago:
1.) How much do I eat?
I eat a normal meal. What I mean by that is, for example, a chicken breast and some vegetables. A Lean Cuisine. A whole sandwich. I am not limited to tablespoons or 2 ounces, like I was that first year. I could very likely eat more than I do.
2.) Do I get hungry now?
Yes. I know when my body is hungry, but I don't get gnawing pains. For a couple of years I had zero symptoms of hunger, but gradually figured out some of the more subtle indicators. Sudden *****iness being my primary clue.
3.) Did I regain?
Yes. I gradually began to regain after I reached my goal, but stayed within 30 lbs during my second year. By my third year I had healed from all my plastic surgeries, and started gaining more. Between then and now I did some more damage.
The VAST majority of this was MY issue, my choices. I cannot blame the surgery, because I know exactly what I've been eating.
It's very easy, in the beginning, to think you have it all under control. I threw up if I ate too much or anything that wasn't healthy or lean. For the entire first year, I had an aversion to food. That changed. I slipped up, and then snowballed myself into regaining over 100lbs of the 250 that I lost.
But I'm solely accountable for that.
4.) Do I have any regrets?
None. I still consider my surgery as the BEST thing I ever did for myself. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I would not love myself as much as I do, or be as comfortable in my skin as I am, if I had not done this. Whatever size I am, I don't doubt that I'm beautiful. I did a lot of inner work, and was forced to confront parts of myself that I didn't want to, and in doing so I healed a lot of old issues. I have never looked back and I have never been sorry.
I've always been really grateful that I did this, that I had this experience. I made life long friends and had so much support. I experienced Life in a way I didn't think I ever would. It was like rebirth. And it was amazing.
So if you're just starting out, the fear and the doubts and the insanity are normal. Everything that seems impossibly hard right now gets easier. The pain goes away. The vomiting stops. You will stop crying and the sadness will pass. Your hair will grow back, your nails will stop breaking, and eventually you will wake up in a body you didn't even know was hiding underneath.
And if you're lucky, you'll learn how to love it.
I did.
I still do, even if I'm a little wider now!
It takes a lot of bravery and guts to change your life, to make a drastic decision and really DO this. I admire everyone who does.
And the rewards for doing it go a lot deeper, and are a lot more long lasting, than simply wearing a smaller size. Something in you will change, and it will be beautiful--That's what I really wanted to say.
So good luck to everyone here!
--Abby
The first couple of years after I had surgery I was a pretty prolific poster, but I haven't been around much at all in the last three or so years. I try to check in every so often, but not as often as I should have or have wanted to.
So, it's been five years.
I'm going to try to answer some of the most obvious questions someone newly post op or pre op would have. The questions I had, five years ago:
1.) How much do I eat?
I eat a normal meal. What I mean by that is, for example, a chicken breast and some vegetables. A Lean Cuisine. A whole sandwich. I am not limited to tablespoons or 2 ounces, like I was that first year. I could very likely eat more than I do.
2.) Do I get hungry now?
Yes. I know when my body is hungry, but I don't get gnawing pains. For a couple of years I had zero symptoms of hunger, but gradually figured out some of the more subtle indicators. Sudden *****iness being my primary clue.
3.) Did I regain?
Yes. I gradually began to regain after I reached my goal, but stayed within 30 lbs during my second year. By my third year I had healed from all my plastic surgeries, and started gaining more. Between then and now I did some more damage.
The VAST majority of this was MY issue, my choices. I cannot blame the surgery, because I know exactly what I've been eating.
It's very easy, in the beginning, to think you have it all under control. I threw up if I ate too much or anything that wasn't healthy or lean. For the entire first year, I had an aversion to food. That changed. I slipped up, and then snowballed myself into regaining over 100lbs of the 250 that I lost.
But I'm solely accountable for that.
4.) Do I have any regrets?
None. I still consider my surgery as the BEST thing I ever did for myself. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I would not love myself as much as I do, or be as comfortable in my skin as I am, if I had not done this. Whatever size I am, I don't doubt that I'm beautiful. I did a lot of inner work, and was forced to confront parts of myself that I didn't want to, and in doing so I healed a lot of old issues. I have never looked back and I have never been sorry.
I've always been really grateful that I did this, that I had this experience. I made life long friends and had so much support. I experienced Life in a way I didn't think I ever would. It was like rebirth. And it was amazing.
So if you're just starting out, the fear and the doubts and the insanity are normal. Everything that seems impossibly hard right now gets easier. The pain goes away. The vomiting stops. You will stop crying and the sadness will pass. Your hair will grow back, your nails will stop breaking, and eventually you will wake up in a body you didn't even know was hiding underneath.
And if you're lucky, you'll learn how to love it.
I did.
I still do, even if I'm a little wider now!
It takes a lot of bravery and guts to change your life, to make a drastic decision and really DO this. I admire everyone who does.
And the rewards for doing it go a lot deeper, and are a lot more long lasting, than simply wearing a smaller size. Something in you will change, and it will be beautiful--That's what I really wanted to say.
So good luck to everyone here!
--Abby
dearest Abby...i am right behind u...4years out tomorrow.... and its the snacking that gets me... i also have insulin resistance so im trying hard to control my carbs.. Gob bless u for ur post..im slipping back into old ways...ill wake up and go back to the gym
thank u..love uuu.. a lot of luv ur way...
thank u..love uuu.. a lot of luv ur way...
Abbyide
on 4/11/11 2:52 am - NY
on 4/11/11 2:52 am - NY
Congrats on your four years, thats awesome!
I'm the worst with the carbs. I didn't want them for a while...and now I do!
And I need to get back to the gym, too. That's a big key to success.
Best of luck and congrats again!
I'm the worst with the carbs. I didn't want them for a while...and now I do!
And I need to get back to the gym, too. That's a big key to success.
Best of luck and congrats again!
Abbyide
on 4/11/11 2:53 am - NY
on 4/11/11 2:53 am - NY
Thank you for taking the time to read it, Carol! And best of luck to you, the ride is amazing!
Abby thanks so much for posting. I know there were quit a few people before looking for long termers (of more than 4 yrs) Glad to see you are doing well. 
HW: 272 SW: 256 CW: 189 GW: 170
1st Goal: 245: Achieved
2nd Goal: 220: Achieved
3rd Goal: 199: Achieved
Final goal: 170
"I thank GOD for allowing me this opportunity to turn my life around"
1st Goal: 245: Achieved
2nd Goal: 220: Achieved
3rd Goal: 199: Achieved
Final goal: 170
"I thank GOD for allowing me this opportunity to turn my life around"
Abbyide
on 4/11/11 2:54 am - NY
on 4/11/11 2:54 am - NY
I should post more often, and I'll try to make a conscious effort to do that. Thank you, and good luck with everything!
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