WLS after divorce---am I making the right decision?

Honey, this is for you. Heck, maybe it was a sign, go out and do you! If you wanna be healthy, have kids in the future and you have battled with your weight, and feel was is right for you, I see no problem.

Besides, a little revenge is sweet

You're right...this is for ME. That little jerk is not worth me going through this surgery for him....not one bit! Living a long healthy, happy life is enough revenge for me! Thanks for the support!

PCOS and obesity is like the chicken and the egg.  Which came first?  Do this for yourself.  The "in your face" to your Ex is just a bonus!

OH needs to put a "like" button on post replies so I can click it! Thank you! And yes, PCOS is the devil!!

My heart ached for you when I read that. You sound like  you were put through the wringer emotionally by this man. I do have to say since my surgery my confidence has been boosted big time, but I wouldn't do this surgery for anyone but me. Sure my husband may benefit, but it isn't for him.

Honestly he sounds like he turned out to be a piece of work and you were trying to see the best in him. (multiple girls ?!??!?!?!?) . He did you a favor taking off because honestly if he will cheat on you over gaining 10lbs then it wasnt your weight.  In my relationship I had gained 100 lbs and no cheating there. (intimacy has been effected but more for health issues).

He is not a man, he is a Piece of SH** whom you tried to make things work. I do not think you need to blame yourself. I know divorce sucks and hurts (I watched my mother deal with the pain of my dad leaving for another) . But I truly believe things happen for a reason.

Now regarding you thinking about surgery, you could be very successful and I think everyone gets doubts that they can do this, but if you look deep down in yourself you have to be sure this is for you because it is a HUGE change in the way you live. It isnt a bad change though and there are people that have been very successful losing with PCOS on here. So nothing is stopping you. Just don't do this to show him what he is missing. Do this for you. Believe me you will gain admirers anyways and won't even be thinking about him lol.

*HUGS*

I say go for it for you. I'm about to have surgery and too have PCOS. I'm in a marriage that sounds like yours did minus the baby. I'm doing this surgery for me, and me alone. Well and my daughter who was an IVF baby, that was the only way. I'm hoping for the self confidence that I need. Then who knows about my marriage. I want to be healthy, and do want more kids. Pretty sure not with my husband. But starting when I have surgery I will have a year and a couple of months to work on me with my husband deployed. It's a big life decision, but Im sure there there is a mr wonderful you will meet soon, and you will be so happy that you got healthy. If it's only for revenge please dont do it. I hope you want it for yourself. Good luck.

Things definitely happen for a reason. As much as I went through, I am a stronger person and if I can go through the emotional hell he put me through, I can absolutely get through this surgery! And boy was he a piece of work!...he cheated with his employees, a friend of mine from church of all places, and an 18 yr old girl we took into our home because she was desperate for a place to live after her boyfriend beat her up (little did I know they were already messing around BEFORE she moved into our home). Believe me, I am NOT Jerry Springer white trash as much as this story might make me sound like I am. The unbelievable happened to me when I thought it never would, but I appreciate the experience just as much as I do the positive things that came from my marriage. It all makes me who I am today...and I like myself pretty well.

I am soooooo happy to be living a drama-free life now and am very excited to be creating a happier ME. I have been on WW and working out for the past 6 months and already feel a lot more confident. Unfortunately, I have only lost 6 lbs--dang PCOS!! I can't wait to have this surgery so my outside can start looking like how I am beginning to feel on the inside.

Congrats on your success and thank you for your support!

I am happy for you! Sounds like you have a wonderful support system and a hubby who truly loves you for who you are on the inside. That is priceless! Congrats on your success!

Times have been tough and I really didn't realize how pathetic my post sounded until I reread it. At times it doesn't even feel like I was the person who experienced such a crappy thing. I never imagined I would be cheated on. I never imagined I would experience infertility and have some random girl getting pregnant with my husbands kid after going through 5 yrs of fertility treatments either. I don't even feel like that person anymore, which is a good thing I guess. No way will I allow myself to go back to that!

I know as i begin to feel better about myself physically, I will become more confident which will help me avoid falling into the trap of an abusive relationship again. Unfortunately, with our society, being thinner opens up the dating pool to a lot more options...it will be nice to actually be able to pick and choose instead of just settling because I feel I'm not worth anything better.

I am overwhelmed with the amazing support here and hope to stay in touch. You look amazing and I only hope to have as much success as you. Take Care!

Have you spoken to a counselor?
This has to be about you.  If you are doing this to try to get him back, then I say no way.  If you are doing this to get healthy and move forward and he is going to be no where in the picture, then yes!  So what if he is jealous and wants you back...that's a bonus and a "OH HE** NO!" revenge!
You can turn your back, shake your cute little butt and WALK AWAY! 
This has to be about you and your health and your future!
Also, everything happens for a reason...and this guy was certainly NOT a good reason!!!
Best wishes,
Jen

I am making an appt with a counselor this week. I don't have one here in KC, so I am waiting for my old counselor to get back to me with a referral. It definitely helps to have someone to help work out all the thoughts and emotions that happen with life changing events.

That's not to say I a counselor could talk me out of doing a little booty shaking (and walking away of course) if I ever did bump into my ex after I lose all this weight. heehee